I’ve had a couple of emails recently asking me why am I bothering to do all this research.

What’s the point?

Why am I putting so very much time and effort into trying to figure out what happened 300 years ago, and 200 years ago, and 2,000 years ago, in the Jewish community?

There’s a few answers to this question, but the main one is this:

My neshama is pushing me to do this.


Believe me, that this is often totally tedious, frustrating work.

Believe me, that if I could just cut loose from this and go and do something that I have a chance of actually completing within, say, the next three years – that would be great.

So, why am I doing this, why am I bothering?

All I can tell you, is that my soul is pushing me to do it.

And whenever I try to give this subject a break, I start feeling some massive internal stress – for no obvious reason – until I return to it.


This isn’t the first time I’ve had this.

When I was trying to figure out the Erev Rav stuff, and how the secular description of ‘narcissism’ fitted into it, I experienced something similar.

And then again, when I was trying to figure out how the body, mind and soul really work together, when it comes to health and how we respond to stress and trauma.

And then again, when I started researching all the lies and deception around the persecution of the Rav.

Each time, I had no idea why I was doing what I was doing, or where it was all really going, but in the end, the pieces finally came together, and I could see why God had led me down that path.

I hope that’s going to happen with this real Jewish history stuff too.

BH, soon.


We live in the world of lies, don’t you know?

And those lies aren’t just in the parts of the Jewish world that aren’t yours or mine.

They are literally everywhere.

It’s way easier to turn your brain off, and to abdicate your free choice and personal responsibility to an ‘expert’.

But free choice is the whole reason God made us, and created the world.

So, I guess part of this geula process is blowing the comfort zone that has totally deadened our free choice, and our motivation to develop a real relationship with God, out of the water.

It’s un-comfortable all this, I know.

But I think that’s the point.

There are no certainties, nothing is guaranteed.

There is just Hashem, and our connection to Him, to take us forward into the next stage of this process.


So, why am I doing all this?

Because that seems to be what God wants from me.

And as soon as He gives me the message that He wants me to stop, I will stop in a heartbeat.

But so far, that’s not happening.

And if anything, I keep getting the steer that I need to get more information out even faster than I’m currently managing it, because it’s important.

More than that, I can’t tell you.


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5 replies
  1. Milka
    Milka says:

    Rivka, thank you for all your hard work!!! I appreciate your effort, dedication and sincerity!!! Everything you write rings true with my neshama…. And I wait with anticipation for every new piece of the puzzle!!!!

  2. Daisy Stern
    Daisy Stern says:


    I can so much relate to what you are saying; yes, that’s exactly it: out of the comfort zone – and how! -and going with Hashem, trusting in Hashem, no matter where and why,

    Why am I silent lately? You won’t believe what is going on my life. Here I am, in Geneva, my last day here : after having been here for over two months, I finally decided to go take a walk along the lake, the beautiful lake I grew up with. There is what is called the Jet d’Eau: a unique and powerful contraption I have known since I was a baby, here:
    In my life I never saw what I saw today, looking at the Jet d’Eau: a magnificent RAINBOW traversing the water, just as I was arriving, and then little by little descending, smaller, smaller, smaller, until it was all gone> I took a picture, but I simply was in awe, it was unbelievable! Well, guess what: I really felt that Hashem was showing me that His presence is here, with me: do you know that tomorrow I am flying to Mexico City and I still don’t know where I will stay? My life is so crazy, but that is exactly what I am supposed to do, and I have no fear, because I know that Hashem will work it out for me! Why? I am going to spend Pessach with my son and his family, and that is the only way I can get to the US, so I am going to be staying for two weeks, all alone, in this country that is the worst terrorist nest in the world after Syria! And I think it is funny, frankly, and I am looking forward to it, while yesterday I was totally freaked out about it. What do you say? Isn’t it funny? Going to Mexico, and the day before Hashem sends me this incredible rainbow in the Jet-d’Eau?
    This picture is not mine, not from today, I just wanted to show you what it looked like. I guess it does happen sometimes, but I sure never saw it , never!

    • Rivka Levy
      Rivka Levy says:

      Crazy! But you are for sure a shaliach for Hashem in some way, and I’m sure you’ll be picking up some ‘sparks’ of something, and putting them back in their right place. Just by being a believing Jew, and connected to God and our true tzaddikim, we can make a big difference wherever we go.

      Stay safe, Daisy.

      • Daisy Stern
        Daisy Stern says:

        Amen, Rivka: and you too! Actually I think the danger in the “democratic’ ( hahaha) state of israel is greater than in these “primitive” countries. I watched Bibi yesterday, so proud of Israel’s vax accomplishments. I am sorry to say, but he is starting to look more and more like a shaliach of the devil, isn’t he?

        May Hashem watch over you, your family, every reader of your blog, and all Am Yisrael, especially you guys and gals in Eretz Hakodesh under the boot of the evil ones. Mashiach, Mashiach NOW!!!


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