The gap between ‘my reality’ and ‘fake news reality’ seems to be growing each day.
More and more, I’m coming to the conclusion that the way the yetzer hara operates on the personal level is exactly the same way it operates on the global scale, too.
What do I mean?
It’s a Breslov teaching – Rebbe Nachman himself – that the yetzer hara isn’t so interested in ‘the sin’ that we do, but what happens after we fall, spiritually.
All of us are flawed human beings, all of us sin, and make mistakes, and get carried away by bad middot, and make ridiculous errors of judgement that can have massive consequences for ourselves, and those around us.
Even a Tzaddik falls seven times.
And me and you (whisper this…..) we’re nowhere near being a ‘tzaddik’.
So, it’s a reality that we have to deal with every single day, and probably more like every single minute, that we are going to stuff something up, spiritually, and ‘sin’.
As well as the more obvious aveirot like eating traif, breaking Shabbat, not keeping the laws of mikva and taharat mishpacha (family purity) – all big deals, that have a very big impact on a Jewish soul – there are a whole range of sins between adam l’havero – a man and his friend – that is really where so much of the work still needs to be done.
Most of us, even in the ‘orthodox world’, are still very challenged by the idea that we actually have a whole bunch of bad middot hiding out, underneath our ‘frum’ exterior.
Really, I think it’s only by doing hitbodedut regularly, and by following Rebbe Nachman’s teachings and advice, that a person can really start to ‘pop the hood’ on what is really hanging out, in their own subconscious and psyche.
Rebbe Nachman’s path of doing hitbodedut for an hour a day, and Rebbe Nachman’s advice and teachings are really the only thing I’ve come across that actually works to get under the hood, really start acknowledging the truth of what is going on, and then start cleaning out all the bad middot that we all have.
And when we aren’t following this path – even when we’re trying very hard, and we’re really very sincere – I see that most people kind of get stuck.
So, when the inevitable happens, and they do something wrong – that’s when a whole bunch of very unhelpful reactions kick in.
Rebbe Nachman teaches that the yetzer hara isn’t so interested in the sin itself.
What it’s really interested in is all the bad middot – the sadness and depression and yeoush and anger and fear and fakeness that’s going to be aroused in us, as a result of that sin.
Because once the yetzer can tip us over into ‘snake brain’ mode, where FIGHT-FLIGHT-FREEZE-FLATTER has totally taken over our cognitive functioning, that’s when the real damage to a person – and to the world around them – can begin in earnest.
Rebbe Nachman teaches:
Even if I did the worst sin in the world, I would still continue to serve Hashem!
That doesn’t mean going into denial about what’s really going on, or making excuses and rationalising away evil.
It means that we acknowledge reality, try to fix whatever we broke, ask God to help us do better in the future – and then, we let it go, and start seeing the good in ourselves again.
When people don’t follow this advice, they usually get stuck trying to pretend they never sin and are always perfect – and they get very angry with anyone who may suggest otherwise – OR, they fall into ‘beat-myself-up-I’m-worthless’ mode.
And a person operating in both of these modes can then easily transgress the whole Torah, because they already feel so bad about themselves, or are so disconnected from the bad they are already doing, what difference does a few million more massive aveirot make?
Right now, we are at something of a crossroads in this whole geula process.
More and more people are feeling ‘uncomfortable’ about what is going on around us.
That small voice of the soul is whispering to them that they are travelling down the wrong path; that they have been continually misled by people and institutions they were taught to trust and obey; that they made a mistake, in taking the Covid shots, in going along with the ‘normal view’ of things, in believing the lying MSM and our evil governments, full of fake puppets, and the military machine that is pulling the strings from the back.
That was the ‘original sin’, if we can call it that.
The yetzer hara is hoping that so many of us are going to either entrench in denial, or fall into despair, that it can continue to trash the world, willy-nilly, while we just sit back and let it.
That isn’t Rabbenu’s path.
Rabbenu’s path is to acknowledge the truth, but from a place of having great compassion for ourselves.
How could we not believe all the lies, when we have been raised to believe brainwashing propaganda from the youngest age?
And when the forces of evil also deceptively enlisted ‘big rabbis’ to tell us lies, knowingly or unknowingly, to overcome our innate sense that something was off, with the whole ‘Covid 19’ picture?
And when we were locked down, masked up, self-isolated and literally tortured with self-administered fear porn 24 hours a day?
That’s the starting point.
We are getting to the crunch point. Or at least, ‘a’ crunch point in this whole journey.
People aren’t going to be able to deny reality and dodge the consequences of what is going on for too much longer.
More and more people are inexplicably dropping dead, having strokes and heart attacks, experiencing all sorts of ‘weird’ physical illnesses that they never had before, because of the Covid shots.
(Scroll down to the update HERE, for a partial list of serious side effects for the Covid shots that Pfizer presented to the FDA BEFORE they got approval for their ‘safe and effective’ shots.)
It’s getting harder and harder to pretend that something very strange and worrying isn’t going on.
One of my husband’s clients in the UK told him yesterday that he’s been in bed throwing up for two weeks solid, and is starting to feel he’s been ‘poisoned’ by something.
Now that more and more of these stories are starting to swim into view, the ‘denial’ of what is really going on is about to morph into full-fledged fear, anger and despair.
But Rabbenu already told us: that’s not helpful!
That response to the mistake you made is not helpful!
Instead of beating ourselves up or telling ourselves ‘there is nothing we can do about it anyway’…. we need to see God’s hand behind all this.
Instead of melting into a puddle of depression and apathy… we need to start asking God sincerely, from the bottom of our hearts, to fix the mess we find ourselves in, personally and globally. That is the essence of really ‘having emuna’.
Instead of pouring all our energy into hating people (even those very evil people who have caused so much death and destruction)…. we need to put that energy into making teshuva, and overcoming the hatred and evil within our own hearts.
I know this is a tall order, believe me, I know.
The last two weeks, I have been SO angry, at everything and everyone.
I’ve had a justification for that, or a ‘rationalisation’ for that: something objectively yucky happened to someone I care about, and it upset me tremendously.
(Let me put this out there, that there are child rapists walking around in the ‘frummest of frum’ communities, including places like Bet Shemesh, who have been getting away with terrible crimes for years.)
At the same time… I understand that all this anger and hatred that has been welling up in my heart, unbidden, is rising to the surface so I can get rid of it.
So I can ask God to help me ‘sweeten’ things, and pray that all this anger – my anger – gets turned to compassion.
I have really had my hands full with this work, the past two weeks.
But I know it’s the ‘war within’ (that I wrote about HERE.)
As it is on the personal level – so it is on the global level.
The yetzer hara wants us to believe that after we’ve sinned, after we’ve made the mistake, after we’ve ‘broken something’ – it can never be fixed.
That’s the biggest and most dangerous lie that the yetzer hara is telling us right now, that there is nothing for us to do except fall into sadness and despair, or go deep, deep into denial.
This is not Rabbenu’s path!
Rabbenu tells us:
There is no despair in the world!!!!
With God’s help, with some sincere teshuva, with some heartfelt prayers, some dancing and clapping to overturn harsh judgements, with some pidyonot (to a real Tzaddik, not a faker) to ‘pay down’ all the harsh din at its spiritual root – all this can and must turnaround for the best.
I know that each time that anger wells up in me, and I feel like I want to lash out and destroy – that God is giving me an opportunity to fix the midda of anger globally, as well as personally.
Everything we do affects everyone and everything else, for good and bad.
If I take that anger and transform it into compassion (with a LOT of prayer and hard work…) – who knows what other ‘anger’, what other destruction, what other violence I just helped to sweeten in the world?
Everything you and me do is meaningful.
So, don’t lose heart dear readers.
Don’t fall into despair, as the reality of what is really happening here starts to come clearly into sight.
Remember, the ‘problem’ isn’t so much the Covid shots, the ‘war in Ukraine’, the very evil things that are going on all around us.
The ‘problem’ is how we react to all this.
And whether we draw closer to Hashem, or take ourselves further away, God forbid.
That’s the real battle being fought here, the real war.
And with God’s help (and Rabbenu’s advice….) we can win it.
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