Drone view of a city

Ever since Rosh Hashana, I’ve been having real problems staying asleep.

Falling asleep is not a problem, thank God, but the last few nights I’ve been waking up, and then finding it really hard to go back to sleep.

The first couple of times, I figured it was because I was in a hotel room in Tiberias with rattling aircon. But now I’ve been back home in Jerusalem, and if anything it’s got worse. What is going on?

I was talking to God about it, and the idea popped into my head that the world has somehow speeded up (again…) on Rosh Hashana, and my body is struggling to adapt to the pace. I lie there, and my eyes are flicking all over the place from side to side, like I’m watching a movie set in fast-forward mode.

I have no big insights to share about what it all means.

I have no idea. When the 70 nations of the world came to Jerusalem to bury a big rasha the day before Rosh Hashana, I knew it was very significant, but I still have no idea what it all means.

5777 is completely unchartered territory. Everyone – and I mean everyone – in the frum religious world had the last year pegged for Moshiach to show up. He didn’t (at least, not obviously…) so now there’s a feeling that the Jewish boat is adrift in completely unknown waters.

All the predictions have failed.

All the big ideas about what it all means haven’t got anywhere.

Redemption appears to be stalled at the starting gate, and no-one seems to know how to fix it, and to get it moving again.

There’s one criteria for Moshiach to come that has never been met until now, and that is that he’ll come when no-one is expecting him anymore. When we all held our breath so long for redemption that we can’t do it anymore, and we’re going back to our cooking, our gardening, our cleaning.

I think maybe, that could be what’s going on now.

Moshiach is long, long, long overdue. Even the people who seemed to be behind his delay were saying 5776 is the year, the year it’s going to finally happen.

It didn’t.

So now what?

I have no idea. But on some very deep level, I think my Nefesh can see something coming that I can’t get a hold of at all, which is why it’s waking me up at night to try to share all the excitement.

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