Going back to nothing

When I was walking around Meron yesterday, I got a thought in my head that the only way to proceed forward at the moment, is by being ‘nothing’.

It’s interesting, what that idea really means.

Rabbi Berland teaches a lot, about this principle of nullifying ourselves totally to Hashem, and making ourselves literally ‘nothing’.

It’s a form of ‘extreme mesirut nefesh’, or self-sacrifice, that paradoxically can achieve great things in the world, because it takes the personal ego out of the picture, and just let’s God do His thing.


The last few weeks, I really haven’t been sleeping very well.

Ever since that 5…G lamp-post turned up on my doorstep erev Succot, I’ve been in a state of high anxiety about what is going on in this world of ours.

The last couple of years, I’ve been ‘live blogging’ the destruction of the world as we know it, and bringing you as much facts and information and investigative journalism as I can, to help you steer through the world of lies, and to do the birur in your own space, about what God really wants from us, and what’s really going on.

That whole process kind of culminated in finally unpacking what really happened, that night in Meron, as I’ve been sharing here on the blog.


But as I walked around Meron yesterday, slotting that last piece of the puzzle into place as I eye-balled all the brand new, AI face recognition cameras that have gone up all over the place there, I realised that something fundamental has to change in my life, if I’m going to get through the next few months in one piece.

We are now at a stage where anyone who has eyes to see, can see something isn’t right here.

And conversely, where no amount of telling or showing or convincing is going to change the minds of the people who refuse to see what is really going on.

My job as the ‘investigative journalist’ kind of feels like it’s done, at the moment.

And I have other things I want to write about.


Yesterday night, just after I’d posted up the piece about the Orange Thing at Meron, I headed over to the RavBerland.com site, where I read THIS, by the mekubal R’ Mor Golan:

“If we pray or perform an action for the Tzadik, there needs to be peace and unity between the souls of Israel — then the Tzadik will be saved from an unnatural death.

“Hashem should protect you from all evil, and if I will have the ability, I will also come to this holy and pure gathering — to protest the disgracing of a Torah scholar.  Anyone who doesn’t protest the disgrace of a Torah scholar could, G-d forbid, fall.

“Therefore, I plead in every way possible to keep the unity and peace of the Jewish people, not to harm anything in the world, whether religious or secular, policeman or policewoman, or soldier, to respect every soul of the Jewish people.


That last sentence had a massive impact on me.

The truth is important.

Digging out the truth is necessary, especially for things as awful as the destruction of 45 people at Meron.

But I feel I’ve done my part in that process now, and it’s time to move on.

It’s time to have a new start again.


So this morning, I saved all my old blog posts to word documents, so I can show my grandchildren some of what I was doing with myself in this crazy time – and then I pressed ‘delete’.

The Ari teaches that anything we keep around, that no longer has a use, kind of sucks our spiritual strength out of us.

I had almost 1,000 blog posts up here, and most of them were really in this category of ‘sucking my spiritual strength’.

Now that the information about Covid 19, about Meron, about the destructive shots, about 5…G and all the rest is out there, what point does it serve to keep it around?


Going forward, we are going to need a lot of chizzuk.

Going forward, we are going to need to cling to Hashem and our True Tzaddikim, to be able to weather this very challenging period of time, before geula finally happens and Moshiach is finally openly revealed.

There is so much bad and evil in the world right now, and it’s multiplying all the time.

So, I see my job now as trying to focus more on the good, as the ‘bad’ becomes more and more obvious to anyone with even half an eye to see.


All week, I’ve been grinding my teeth in my sleep, because of my rising anxiety about what is happening in the world.

I can’t live like this.

I don’t want to live like this, in a state of permanent fear, because then they already won.

So, I’m setting the intention to start writing more words of chizzuk, and to share more words of wisdom and strengthening from our True Tzaddikim like Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, and the Rav, Rabbi Eliezer Berland.

And also, to go back to writing more from heart and the soul again, and less from the ‘brain’, in ‘investigative journalist’ mode.


I think that’s what God wants from me right now.

I think that’s the message I got yesterday, to return to ‘nothing’ and let God fix the mess that’s been uncovered now, in Meron, and elsewhere.

If I get another message in the future to change direction again, I’ll take it.

But for now – it’s a total new start.

And in the merit of going back to ‘nothing’ here on the blog, I really pray God will also take all that evil out there, and reduce it back to ‘nothing’, too.



There is more video now of the Israeli police ‘arresting’ Rabbanit Tehilla Berland, a frail old lady in her mid-eighties with a lot of health issues.

You can see her being ‘escorted’ into a police van propped up on a stretcher (!) with the police (and undercover police in their t-shirts and jeans) violently shoving a whole bunch of people around, including some people I actually know personally.

As always, the lying YWN has the headline exactly wrong.

It’s not the ‘cult followers’ who are getting violent with the police…


Honestly, I half feel like just tearing kria for the awful state of affairs going on in Israel right now…

But in the meantime, I guess the test of birur is continuing.

The Rav said a long time ago that Moshiach wouldn’t come until he’d been accused of murder.

I guess we are now that much closer to Moshiach coming.

That’s the silver lining to all this, I guess. Although I’ll admit, it’s wearing thin already.



19 replies
  1. האיש
    האיש says:




  2. Michal rus
    Michal rus says:

    im so excited for the new beginning and i love reading all the words you write, especially when you write “nothing” from your heart and neshama
    its the best nothing out there
    and it helps me so very much be my own nothing too

    thank you
    hatzlacha to us all

  3. Daisy Stern
    Daisy Stern says:

    My God, so much evil in Israel: the government – and the police – are getting closer and closer to resembling the Nazis. Who would have guessed the creation of the state would lead to this…?

    I am frankly sorry that all that great work of yours is gone ( I would have loved to review all that latest info about the technology, to share it with more and more people). But I do understand and respect your choice, of course. If that is what it takes to get back to feeling good, then of course-why not? You pushed yourself to the brink, it was just too, too much, even for a woman of your caliber. You certainly deserve your “reset”, as somebody else called it.

    Strange: lately I have gotten more and more messages about healing frequencies, from various sources: 288Hz, 216 Hz, 639 Hz, 528 Hz, 369 Hz, 432 Hz, and 963 Hz. I love to listen to some of them, especially 432 Hz and 963 Hz, they connect you with love, they have an incredible effect. But I am a bit hesitant because it seems that their source is possibly something that goes against everything the Rav teaches: to nullify oneself. Those frequencies on the other hand empower – hopefully not in a bad way. Didn’t Hashem create us with the ability to do the best we can – hishtadlut as they call it? What’s wrong with trying to be whole, connected to all the power of the universe which Hashem created? Why not dig deep, while loving Hashem, and realizing that everything comes from Him? Is there something wrong with using these frequencies for healing? After all we are allowed to heal others and ourselves, and all are lacking in one way or another, aren’t we? Can we nullify ourselves while healing ourselves with these tools? Are they kosher, is my question. If they are, then let get the most out of them. If not, then…???

    Music is so healing. I also love the Breslov music you shared with us, Rivka, and this uplifting rendition of a song we all know:

    So I hope your new road leads you to great, wonderful things that fill your neshamah with joy, and help heal the world.

    • Rivka Levy
      Rivka Levy says:

      No, there’s no problem with healing frequencies, as long as we know they are emanating from Hashem… same as everything else.

      V interesting you are getting that push, as I’ve also been getting that push for the last year, to look into this more closely.

      • Daisy Stern
        Daisy Stern says:

        Yep: frequencies are frequencies: on one hand we get bombarded with lethal, destructive frequencies, while we can get healed by positive, regenerative frequencies. Maybe there is a message there -sort of “homeopathic” frequency remedies: fighting like with like? I still wonder how much they can really do when we get hit with the bad ones; maybe restore balance after a bad blow? Between grounding and frequencies meditations, maybe that is one of the ways to overcome what they are doing to us? They are clearly pointing to balance, focus, concentration, truth. What could be bad about that? How does that jibe with self-nullification though? Some frequencies do lead to “larger than self” experiences, while others don’t. Or maybe it is just a gradual healing process so we can deal with the world from a new, beautiful, majestic, divine perspective?

        Just asking questions.

        • Rivka Levy
          Rivka Levy says:

          Bitul is one of those things you aspire to for a moment in time, but it can not be a permanent state of affairs.

          Rabbenu writes a lot about this, it’s the idea of ‘running and returning’ – and it can trip a lot of people up, because spiritual life and progress isn’t linear, only up, but up and down, and back and forth, and ‘maximum bitul’ and then ‘maximum ego-centric action’.

          So, there is really no conflict between trying to find different things to heal ourselves and others, and bitul. Ultimately, ein od milvado, God is all there is. At the same time, He made us ‘partners’ in His world, to make our best effort to fix and rectify it – and of course, ourselves.

  4. Dean Maughvet
    Dean Maughvet says:

    You made a mistake in denying interested souls access to a tremendous amount of important work — particularly, but not limited to, your Meron massacre findings.
    The heavens weep for the truths buried here.
    Please reconsider what appears to be a hasty decision.
    Dean Maughvet

  5. M
    M says:

    BH I too posted my final blog post yesterday, in an attempt to heed the Rav’s call to flee “the online places.” Although I assumed it meant social media, etc.


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