When I was walking around Meron yesterday, I got a thought in my head that the only way to proceed forward at the moment, is by being ‘nothing’.
It’s interesting, what that idea really means.
Rabbi Berland teaches a lot, about this principle of nullifying ourselves totally to Hashem, and making ourselves literally ‘nothing’.
It’s a form of ‘extreme mesirut nefesh’, or self-sacrifice, that paradoxically can achieve great things in the world, because it takes the personal ego out of the picture, and just let’s God do His thing.
The last few weeks, I really haven’t been sleeping very well.
Ever since that 5…G lamp-post turned up on my doorstep erev Succot, I’ve been in a state of high anxiety about what is going on in this world of ours.
The last couple of years, I’ve been ‘live blogging’ the destruction of the world as we know it, and bringing you as much facts and information and investigative journalism as I can, to help you steer through the world of lies, and to do the birur in your own space, about what God really wants from us, and what’s really going on.
That whole process kind of culminated in finally unpacking what really happened, that night in Meron, as I’ve been sharing here on the blog.
But as I walked around Meron yesterday, slotting that last piece of the puzzle into place as I eye-balled all the brand new, AI face recognition cameras that have gone up all over the place there, I realised that something fundamental has to change in my life, if I’m going to get through the next few months in one piece.
We are now at a stage where anyone who has eyes to see, can see something isn’t right here.
And conversely, where no amount of telling or showing or convincing is going to change the minds of the people who refuse to see what is really going on.
My job as the ‘investigative journalist’ kind of feels like it’s done, at the moment.
And I have other things I want to write about.
Yesterday night, just after I’d posted up the piece about the Orange Thing at Meron, I headed over to the RavBerland.com site, where I read THIS, by the mekubal R’ Mor Golan:
“If we pray or perform an action for the Tzadik, there needs to be peace and unity between the souls of Israel — then the Tzadik will be saved from an unnatural death.
“Hashem should protect you from all evil, and if I will have the ability, I will also come to this holy and pure gathering — to protest the disgracing of a Torah scholar. Anyone who doesn’t protest the disgrace of a Torah scholar could, G-d forbid, fall.
“Therefore, I plead in every way possible to keep the unity and peace of the Jewish people, not to harm anything in the world, whether religious or secular, policeman or policewoman, or soldier, to respect every soul of the Jewish people.
That last sentence had a massive impact on me.
The truth is important.
Digging out the truth is necessary, especially for things as awful as the destruction of 45 people at Meron.
But I feel I’ve done my part in that process now, and it’s time to move on.
It’s time to have a new start again.
So this morning, I saved all my old blog posts to word documents, so I can show my grandchildren some of what I was doing with myself in this crazy time – and then I pressed ‘delete’.
The Ari teaches that anything we keep around, that no longer has a use, kind of sucks our spiritual strength out of us.
I had almost 1,000 blog posts up here, and most of them were really in this category of ‘sucking my spiritual strength’.
Now that the information about Covid 19, about Meron, about the destructive shots, about 5…G and all the rest is out there, what point does it serve to keep it around?
Going forward, we are going to need a lot of chizzuk.
Going forward, we are going to need to cling to Hashem and our True Tzaddikim, to be able to weather this very challenging period of time, before geula finally happens and Moshiach is finally openly revealed.
There is so much bad and evil in the world right now, and it’s multiplying all the time.
So, I see my job now as trying to focus more on the good, as the ‘bad’ becomes more and more obvious to anyone with even half an eye to see.
All week, I’ve been grinding my teeth in my sleep, because of my rising anxiety about what is happening in the world.
I can’t live like this.
I don’t want to live like this, in a state of permanent fear, because then they already won.
So, I’m setting the intention to start writing more words of chizzuk, and to share more words of wisdom and strengthening from our True Tzaddikim like Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, and the Rav, Rabbi Eliezer Berland.
And also, to go back to writing more from heart and the soul again, and less from the ‘brain’, in ‘investigative journalist’ mode.
I think that’s what God wants from me right now.
I think that’s the message I got yesterday, to return to ‘nothing’ and let God fix the mess that’s been uncovered now, in Meron, and elsewhere.
If I get another message in the future to change direction again, I’ll take it.
But for now – it’s a total new start.
And in the merit of going back to ‘nothing’ here on the blog, I really pray God will also take all that evil out there, and reduce it back to ‘nothing’, too.
There is more video now of the Israeli police ‘arresting’ Rabbanit Tehilla Berland, a frail old lady in her mid-eighties with a lot of health issues.
You can see her being ‘escorted’ into a police van propped up on a stretcher (!) with the police (and undercover police in their t-shirts and jeans) violently shoving a whole bunch of people around, including some people I actually know personally.
As always, the lying YWN has the headline exactly wrong.
It’s not the ‘cult followers’ who are getting violent with the police…
Honestly, I half feel like just tearing kria for the awful state of affairs going on in Israel right now…
But in the meantime, I guess the test of birur is continuing.
The Rav said a long time ago that Moshiach wouldn’t come until he’d been accused of murder.
I guess we are now that much closer to Moshiach coming.
That’s the silver lining to all this, I guess. Although I’ll admit, it’s wearing thin already.