Light at the end of the tunnel

Yesterday, I got two interesting emails.

One of them was asking me to consider how I can uncover the truth without plunging people into despair.

(It’s a very good question.)

And another was asking me this:

A question I have had for a while is about the legitimacy of us being here in eretz Yisrael before Meshiach.

I saw you said you questioned it? What do you think are the reasons to stay/leave??

Also a very good question.

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Firstly, this is what I replied to my first correspondent:

Thanks for taking the time to email me this.
I think you are probably right, that if I could make that paradigm shift to phrasing things more positively, that would be useful for a lot of reasons.
It’s just very, very hard for me to do, even when I make a conscious effort.
There’s a big klipa around doing things that way.
A very big klipa.
But I do understand that if it were possible, that would be better for a lot of reasons, and I am taking you as a nudge from Upstairs to at least pray on it some more and see what happens.
==
The last thing to mention is that I actually have a lot more hope than sometimes comes through my writing… but it’s connected to my connection with Rebbe Nachman and Rav Berland, which I often downplay, especially with Rav Berland, for obvious reasons.
But really, I have so much hope and chizzuk from these two, and maybe I need to start being more vocal on that count, on my blog.
Lots to think about.
====

I have lost count of the number of times I was feeling despairing and lost in the world, and my connection with Rav Berland somehow turned it around.

Like, I’d just open one of his books ‘randomly’ and find words that truly spoke to my heart, and comforted me.
Or, I’d read one of his shiurim and it would seem as though the Rav was addressing his remarks specifically to my particular problem or worry.
Or even, I’d just go hang out by the Beit HaRav in Musrara for a few minutes, and come away just feeling lighter and happier about life.

That happened again this Rosh Hashana, even though the Rav himself is still under house arrest in some unknown location.

====

I got there n the first day still feeling somewhat ‘down’ about the situation in Israel, and after an hour there, hearing the shofar, I came back home with a big spring in my step.

As I walked back through the streets of Jerusalem, I just had this one thought on repeat in my head:

They have already lost. 5781 is going to be a great year.

I know that’s still not so obvious.

But that is the ‘vibe’ I picked up very strongly from being at the Beit HaRav on Rosh Hashana.

====

So, BH, I will let you know about more of these incidences, and more of these ‘reasons to be cheerful’, because that is how I balance out all the hard stuff that is going on all around, without going into either denial or despair.

(And let me just plug my husband’s new site, where he brings snippets of the Rav’s words in English most days, called Words from the Rav.)

====

So now, let’s turn to the next question:

A question I have had for a while is about the legitimacy of us being here in eretz Yisrael before Meshiach.

I saw you said you questioned it? What do you think are the reasons to stay/leave??

====

I had a really rough aliya experience, in myriad different ways.

We ran out of money, lost our house (twice!!), have moved around loads and loads, had difficulties finding communities, difficulties finding schools, difficulties with fake rabbis and bad advice, and a bunch of other things besides.

But throughout all these difficulties, I ALWAYS was grateful that I was living in Eretz Yisrael, still.

I knew the difficulties here are part and parcel of the kedusha, part and parcel of what makes us grow as people, as Jews, instead of mouldering away in often suffocating spiritual ‘comfort zones’ in Chul.

The only time I ever questioned being in Israel was literally that two days when I started researching Uzi Meshulam and the Yemenite children – and I got a very strong whiff of the spiritual corruption underpinning the secular State of Israel.

====

That was around five years ago, when I was doing the research on why the State of Israel was persecuting Rav Berland, that ultimately became One in a Generation.

At that stage, I wanted to run away from Israel (for two days…) because I was scared of what the evil people here could do to me.

But then, I worked on it a lot in hitbodedut, and I realised that this ‘fear’ of these evildoers is a fallen fear.

Because Ein Od Milvado.

And if God doesn’t want something to happen to me, it’s not going to happen, however hard these evildoers try.

This same idea also applies to rockets, terrorist attacks, stabbings and Iranian nukes – and all those other scary things that sometimes make us want to run away from Israel.

====

The Coronafascism here over the last year and a half, and all the stressful and troubling diktats about masks and coercion about ‘vaccinations’, has been very hard for all of us to take.

I’m hearing more and more stories of people looking to leave Israel soon, religious and secular people, ‘vaccinated’ and un-vaccinated.

I totally understand the impulse to get away from all the stress and ‘yuck’ that we’ve been subjected to the last year and a half, but I personally feel it’s a big mistake to make any long-term move away from Israel.

This is still the Holy Land.

This is still the country that God has His eye on, so to speak, 24 hours a day, and 365 days a year.

It’s still the land of emuna and miracles.

And ultimately, it all comes down to Ein Od Milvado – I can’t run away from God, and His plans for my life.

====

The day we signed on our first house in Israel, in Modiin, the ‘terrorist attacks’ occurred in London.

One of the victims on the Number 13 bus was an Israeli woman who had moved to the UK to get away from the suicide bus bombings back home.

That really taught me something very profound, about how it’s impossible to run away from God.

====

A few years ago, our Rav was Rav Arush, and he was pushing all of his students to come and live in Jerusalem.

It was not a very appealing option, honestly, as the house prices had just rocketed through the roof, and I was living in my own new house in a yishuv an hour’s drive away.

To cut a very long story short, we ended up making the move, and I swapped my big house for a rented, 65 sqm apartment in a scummy-looking building.

====

The first two years in Jerusalem were brutal, in a whole bunch of ways.

It was like making aliya all over again, except 20 times harder.

(And believe me, that’s saying something.)

But after two years of tremendous suffering, and also tremendous teshuva, the clouds started to part, and I found myself – totally by accident – living in the same neighborhood as Rav Berland and many of his students.

One thing led to another, and that’s how I started to hear more about Rav Berland, and started to research him, and started to understand that he was the true Tzaddik HaDor.

====

Today, I look back at that move to Jerusalem as one of the biggest blessings of my life, despite the fact that Coronafascism has hit this city so hard, the last year and a half.

I can still go to the Kotel whenever I want.

I can still go to the Beit HaRav (where they have been davening unmasked the whole time. Baruch Hashem!)

I can also go to supermarkets and stores in chareidi neighborhoods where no-one gives a stuff about social distancing, masking or Tav Yarok.

And I’ve also seen how my children’s yiddishkeit has actually flourished here, strangely, because we had such a hard time and never fit in to any particular ‘box’.

====

I have a nice (rented…) house here.

I have a mostly very nice life (Coronafascism notwithstanding…)

And my soul feels more content here than it’s ever felt anywhere else.

And what happened to those of Rav Arush’s English-speaking students who didn’t make that move to Jerusalem, because it was so hard?

Without exception, they all fell off the ‘Breslov’ bandwagon big time, and some of them even ended up leaving the country altogether.

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Things relating to Eretz Yisrael and Jerusalem are often totally deceptive.

It looks like here is the worst place to be.

It looks like life is hardest here.

That the evil is strongest here.

But all this is just a klipah, the ‘shadow’ that’s hiding the biggest light of all.

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At the end of the day, most of the people who know how to use a gun in this country are good Jews, deep down.

You can’t say that about any other country in the world.

At the end of the day, there are more true tzaddikim, hidden and otherwise, and more holy keverim here, than any other place in the world.

And these tzaddikim, alive and dead, are protecting us all with their merits.

The type and frequency of open miracles in Israel just don’t really happen anywhere else, (except maybe Uman.)

====

So, even though I have three passports, that is why I’m staying put in this country.

The ‘raging stormwind’ that’s been running the show here is very close to finally blowing itself out.

The good is starting to sprout visibly, all over the country.

And the birur, so painful as it’s been, is almost complete.

There’s a lot of light at the end of the tunnel, and the ‘end’ is approaching.

So don’t bail out now.

====

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4 replies
  1. Shimshon
    Shimshon says:

    There is coercion being applied constantly, and it is always ratcheting towards an ever more coercive environment.

    One thing most people seem to understand about evil is, despite the constant and even tyrannical level of coercion being applied, it literally cannot make you do anything. Evil NEEDS your CONSENT. Evil is powerless without it. Sometimes not consenting can be painful. Even very much so. But it is ALWAYS about YOUR consent. To a degree, even bemoaning the evil, pointing it out over and over (rather than simply noting it and moving on), is consenting to it. It is residing in your brain, rent free.

    Besides the obviously open goal of compliance, evil seeks to divide and sow fear. When you give in to fear, which is expressed in many ways, including talking about and desiring to leave Eretz Yisrael, you are consenting to the coercion. That is your choice. I have seen many succumb to this. I think it is a mistake.

    Further, specific to our land, despite all appearances and fear-mongering going on, it will be our only refuge as things get worse and worse. Any such talk of leaving seems absolutely bonkers to me.

    Reply
  2. Elisheva
    Elisheva says:

    What’s to happen will. When the bus bombing in London happened & I heard about the Israeli lady I was reminded of a similar occurrence in Montreal when I lived there.
    A man from South America had come to Canada because he was worried about being stabbed in his home country. And that’s exactly what happened to him in Montreal.

    Reply
  3. Eliora
    Eliora says:

    Your insights are as always, eloquently and beautifully articulated Rivka! In my opinion, Hashem has different missions for everyone, including where we live. I know many Yidden feel so connected to living in Eretz Yisroel so much, that they are willing to stay, despite the zionist medina. It’s hard for me to understand, but some people connect so much to the eretz, that they are b’simcha, no matter how much opposition and hardsip they face living in Eretz Yisroel. Some of my closest friends feel that way. But personally, either I didn’t connect to living in Eretz Yisroel all that much or it just isn’t the right time for me. I say that because after a couple years of living there, it began to feel wrong. I think I’m not alone in this, and many other Yidden have a gut feeling that now is not their time to come to Eretz Yisroel. My intuition told me it was time to go, and in my gut I feel that was the right choice. I know that ultimately, Hashem has it in mind that all the Yidden return to Eretz Yisroel, even if that be with the coming of Moschiach. And then the rest of us will be there too.

    Reply

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