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“It was pretty hard reading that post yesterday”.

My husband told me.

I know. But what can we do? If we carry on pretending this stuff isn’t happening, they will just carry on assaulting innocent children and covering it all up….

That’s the problem, isn’t it? We want, so want, the world to be ‘good’ and ‘perfect’ and ‘happy’.

And there IS so much that is still so good and so happy going on.

But the bad isn’t going to go away all by itself, however much we want it to.

It’s going to go away – permanently – when enough of us take our heads out of the sand, and start really praying for God to destroy all this evil once and for all.

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And here is where I want to talk about hitbodedut again.

Rebbe Nachman teaches us, for an hour a day, you look at the bad, you get to grips with the bad, you pray about the bad, you dance and clap about the bad – especially the bad that resides inside ourselves.

And then for the other 23 hours – be happy!

Not the ‘fake happy’ that comes from a Prozac prescription, or an escape into Netflix, work or shopping.

A real happy, that comes from taking the time to connect back to God, and dumping all our issues and problems on His shoulders, and asking God to show us what we’re meant to be doing in the middle of all this madness.

And trusting that He will let us know.

Because anyone who calls out to Hashem from a place of sincerity and humility, with a broken heart – God answers them.

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That hour a day of ‘looking at the bad’ and engaging with it, and wrestling with the world of lies, keeps me sane.

But the 23 hours a day when I paint, cook, walk around, chat with a friend, go to the Rav’s prayers (some days….) work on my fiction novel, take a trip out somewhere interesting, play my guitar….

That also keeps me sane.

 Good mental health depends on both: acknowledging the ‘bad’ and the evil – particularly within ourselves, for an hour a day.

And then spending the next 23 hours happy, that we’re riding this wave with Hashem, and that He’s guiding everything, and that even the blackest, baddest stuff CAN AND WILL turn around for the best, once WE make some sincere teshuva.

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So much is so hidden, right now.

So many of us are trying so hard to hang on to ‘truth’ and to ‘goodness’, while the world of lies just ramps up louder and louder.

Two days ago, there was a massive fire in the forest in Jerusalem that’s near my house, around 9pm at night. We had a great view, if you can call it that, as the whole mountainside lit up bright orange, filled with smoke, and the fire raged for at least an hour.

Man, that’s going to look brutal tomorrow, I thought to myself. It’s going to be bleak, black carnage.

The next day, I opened the blinds, and low and behold: If I hadn’t seen a massive forest fire going on with my own eyes for an hour the night before, I would have no idea that anything had happened at all.

Because there are a bunch of trees on the hill in front of the ravine where the fire raged, and they were untouched. 

And so, it looks like nothing at all happened.

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Strange to say, that forest fire gave me a lot of chizzuk.

I think a lot of my readers are going around lighting fires under the world of lies, both in their personal lives, and nationally, and globally. We see a few of those lies whoosh, burn and crash. And we think to ourselves yay, a huge bit of the world of lies just got vaporised!

But then the next day, we find our good friend still believes that Covid shots are totally ‘safe and effective’.

Or we read another post blaming what happened at Meron totally on the ‘chareidi animals’, while completely exonerating the corrupt police.

Or we read more rubbish about planned ‘monkey pox’ pandemics, or more ‘interfaith’ cack, or more puff pieces about how President Zelensky is the best Jewish leader since Moshe Rabbenu….

And then we think to ourselves:

Wait a minute…. What’s going on here?!? Where did all that clarity, all that truth, all that effort go?!?

Because yesterday, we mamash saw the world of lies burning down with our own eyes.

But today – apparently nothing at all has changed.

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Take heart, dear reader.

Before Hashem destroyed the Temple physically, via the Romans, it was first ‘destroyed’ spiritually.

That’s why it was said that the Romans just ‘ground flour that had already been ground’.

But that principle works the other way, too.

Our Temple has been rebuilt, spiritually, already, and is just waiting to be revealed in this lowly, physical world.

Each time we incinerate another bit of the world of lies, we are bringing that time closer and closer.

Even though right now, the mask keeps moving back into place, the scenery keeps just rearranging itself, and the world keeps appearing as though ‘nothing has changed’.

But all that’s an illusion.

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My husband suggested that I try to write a ‘happy post’ at least once a week, to counter some of the harder things that we’re uncovering here.

If I planned anything I write – at all! – that would be a great idea.

As it is, I just sit down and start typing, and whatever God decides I’m going to write about today is what appears on the site.

I don’t plan anything.

But I can tell you that we are approaching that time when the ‘happier posts’ are going to start showing up a lot more, all by themselves.

Because the world of lies is mamash on its last legs.

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Remember what happened with the former Soviet Union?

It looked like it was going to continue forever.

Then one day, poof, the Berlin Wall came down, and the USSR imploded all by itself.

We are very close to that happening again.

Our corrupt governments and institutions are being shaken to their core, and while they look like they are going to stand forever and ever…

That’s just an illusion.

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These days, who cares about the war going on in the Ukraine?

Hardly anyone.

Who is running off to get ‘Covid tested’, even though they have all the symptoms and have been feeling exhausted for weeks?

Hardly anyone.

Who is really buying into ‘Monkey Pox’ scare stories, or continuing to wear their mask now they don’t have to anymore by law?

Hardly anyone.

Even the people who still ‘believe the news’ are tuning it out and switching it off in droves.

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Sure, there is still a plan to control the world, and probably kill most of it off.

But it won’t get there.

Everything is being sweetened, all the time.

That is the ‘good’ that I see 23 hours a day.

That is the reality.

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So.

Don’t give up.

Don’t despair.

Don’t switch off and go back into Prozac-land where everything is sababa because we can’t really feel anything, anymore.

Carry on fighting the evil!

Carry on feeling the pain of the world, and praying about it.

But know, that God has everything covered, and there is a plan going on here: His plan.

With patience and emuna and an hour a day of hitbodedut, we will soon see salvation sprout.

And we’ll also be able to hold on to our sanity while that process continues to play out.

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The gap between ‘my reality’ and ‘fake news reality’ seems to be growing each day.

More and more, I’m coming to the conclusion that the way the yetzer hara operates on the personal level is exactly the same way it operates on the global scale, too.

What do I mean?

It’s a Breslov teaching – Rebbe Nachman himself – that the yetzer hara isn’t so interested in ‘the sin’ that we do, but what happens after we fall, spiritually.

All of us are flawed human beings, all of us sin, and make mistakes, and get carried away by bad middot, and make ridiculous errors of judgement that can have massive consequences for ourselves, and those around us.

Even a Tzaddik falls seven times.

And me and you (whisper this…..) we’re nowhere near being a ‘tzaddik’.

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So, it’s a reality that we have to deal with every single day, and probably more like every single minute, that we are going to stuff something up, spiritually, and ‘sin’.

As well as the more obvious aveirot like eating traif, breaking Shabbat, not keeping the laws of mikva and taharat mishpacha (family purity) – all big deals, that have a very big impact on a Jewish soul – there are a whole range of sins between adam l’havero – a man and his friend – that is really where so much of the work still needs to be done.

Most of us, even in the ‘orthodox world’, are still very challenged by the idea that we actually have a whole bunch of bad middot hiding out, underneath our ‘frum’ exterior.

Really, I think it’s only by doing hitbodedut regularly, and by following Rebbe Nachman’s teachings and advice, that a person can really start to ‘pop the hood’ on what is really hanging out, in their own subconscious and psyche.

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Tachlis:

Rebbe Nachman’s path of doing hitbodedut for an hour a day, and Rebbe Nachman’s advice and teachings are really the only thing I’ve come across that actually works to get under the hood, really start acknowledging the truth of what is going on, and then start cleaning out all the bad middot that we all have.

And when we aren’t following this path – even when we’re trying very hard, and we’re really very sincere – I see that most people kind of get stuck.

So, when the inevitable happens, and they do something wrong – that’s when a whole bunch of very unhelpful reactions kick in.

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Rebbe Nachman teaches that the yetzer hara isn’t so interested in the sin itself.

What it’s really interested in is all the bad middot – the sadness and depression and yeoush and anger and fear and fakeness that’s going to be aroused in us, as a result of that sin.

Because once the yetzer can tip us over into ‘snake brain’ mode, where FIGHT-FLIGHT-FREEZE-FLATTER has totally taken over our cognitive functioning, that’s when the real damage to a person – and to the world around them – can begin in earnest.

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Rebbe Nachman teaches:

Even if I did the worst sin in the world, I would still continue to serve Hashem!

That doesn’t mean going into denial about what’s really going on, or making excuses and rationalising away evil.

It means that we acknowledge reality, try to fix whatever we broke, ask God to help us do better in the future – and then, we let it go, and start seeing the good in ourselves again.

When people don’t follow this advice, they usually get stuck trying to pretend they never sin and are always perfect – and they get very angry with anyone who may suggest otherwise – OR, they fall into ‘beat-myself-up-I’m-worthless’ mode.

And a person operating in both of these modes can then easily transgress the whole Torah, because they already feel so bad about themselves, or are so disconnected from the bad they are already doing, what difference does a few million more massive aveirot make?

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Right now, we are at something of a crossroads in this whole geula process.

More and more people are feeling ‘uncomfortable’ about what is going on around us.

That small voice of the soul is whispering to them that they are travelling down the wrong path; that they have been continually misled by people and institutions they were taught to trust and obey; that they made a mistake, in taking the Covid shots, in going along with the ‘normal view’ of things, in believing the lying MSM and our evil governments, full of fake puppets, and the military machine that is pulling the strings from the back.

That was the ‘original sin’, if we can call it that.

The yetzer hara is hoping that so many of us are going to either entrench in denial, or fall into despair, that it can continue to trash the world, willy-nilly, while we just sit back and let it.

That isn’t Rabbenu’s path.

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Rabbenu’s path is to acknowledge the truth, but from a place of having great compassion for ourselves.

How could we not believe all the lies, when we have been raised to believe brainwashing propaganda from the youngest age?

And when the forces of evil also deceptively enlisted ‘big rabbis’ to tell us lies, knowingly or unknowingly, to overcome our innate sense that something was off, with the whole ‘Covid 19’ picture?

And when we were locked down, masked up, self-isolated and literally tortured with self-administered fear porn 24 hours a day?

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That’s the starting point.

But now….

We are getting to the crunch point. Or at least, ‘a’ crunch point in this whole journey.

People aren’t going to be able to deny reality and dodge the consequences of what is going on for too much longer.

More and more people are inexplicably dropping dead, having strokes and heart attacks, experiencing all sorts of ‘weird’ physical illnesses that they never had before, because of the Covid shots.

(Scroll down to the update HERE, for a partial list of serious side effects for the Covid shots that Pfizer presented to the FDA BEFORE they got approval for their ‘safe and effective’ shots.)

It’s getting harder and harder to pretend that something very strange and worrying isn’t going on.

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One of my husband’s clients in the UK told him yesterday that he’s been in bed throwing up for two weeks solid, and is starting to feel he’s been ‘poisoned’ by something.

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The ‘something’ is 5…G, mixed with graphene oxide nanotech, and topped off with DNA origami and who-knows-what-else in the Covid shots.

Now that more and more of these stories are starting to swim into view, the ‘denial’ of what is really going on is about to morph into full-fledged fear, anger and despair.

But Rabbenu already told us: that’s not helpful!

That response to the mistake you made is not helpful!

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Instead of beating ourselves up or telling ourselves ‘there is nothing we can do about it anyway’…. we need to see God’s hand behind all this.

Instead of melting into a puddle of depression and apathy… we need to start asking God sincerely, from the bottom of our hearts, to fix the mess we find ourselves in, personally and globally. That is the essence of really ‘having emuna’.

Instead of pouring all our energy into hating people (even those very evil people who have caused so much death and destruction)…. we need to put that energy into making teshuva, and overcoming the hatred and evil within our own hearts.

I know this is a tall order, believe me, I know.

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The last two weeks, I have been SO angry, at everything and everyone.

I’ve had a justification for that, or a ‘rationalisation’ for that: something objectively yucky happened to someone I care about, and it upset me tremendously.

(Let me put this out there, that there are child rapists walking around in the ‘frummest of frum’ communities, including places like Bet Shemesh, who have been getting away with terrible crimes for years.)

At the same time… I understand that all this anger and hatred that has been welling up in my heart, unbidden, is rising to the surface so I can get rid of it.

So I can ask God to help me ‘sweeten’ things, and pray that all this anger – my anger – gets turned to compassion.

I have really had my hands full with this work, the past two weeks.

But I know it’s the ‘war within’ (that I wrote about HERE.)

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As it is on the personal level – so it is on the global level.

The yetzer hara wants us to believe that after we’ve sinned, after we’ve made the mistake, after we’ve ‘broken something’ – it can never be fixed.

That’s the biggest and most dangerous lie that the yetzer hara is telling us right now, that there is nothing for us to do except fall into sadness and despair, or go deep, deep into denial.

This is not Rabbenu’s path!

Rabbenu tells us:

There is no despair in the world!!!!

With God’s help, with some sincere teshuva, with some heartfelt prayers, some dancing and clapping to overturn harsh judgements, with some pidyonot (to a real Tzaddik, not a faker) to ‘pay down’ all the harsh din at its spiritual root – all this can and must turnaround for the best.

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I know that each time that anger wells up in me, and I feel like I want to lash out and destroy – that God is giving me an opportunity to fix the midda of anger globally, as well as personally.

Everything we do affects everyone and everything else, for good and bad.

If I take that anger and transform it into compassion (with a LOT of prayer and hard work…) – who knows what other ‘anger’, what other destruction, what other violence I just helped to sweeten in the world?

Everything you and me do is meaningful.

Everything.

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So, don’t lose heart dear readers.

Don’t fall into despair, as the reality of what is really happening here starts to come clearly into sight.

Remember, the ‘problem’ isn’t so much the Covid shots, the ‘war in Ukraine’, the very evil things that are going on all around us.

The ‘problem’ is how we react to all this.

And whether we draw closer to Hashem, or take ourselves further away, God forbid.

That’s the real battle being fought here, the real war.

And with God’s help (and Rabbenu’s advice….) we can win it.

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Just when we thought it couldn’t get any more confusing or crazy… it has.

It feels to me that things have really ratcheted up a level, spiritually, since Tu B’Shvat.

Rav Berland was hinting for weeks, that the ‘Rosh Hashana of the Trees’ was going to be a totally new start, a new year, in a lot of different ways, this year.

But I’m also noticing that while ‘clarity’ is flourishing in many parts, ‘confusion and doubt’ also seems to be blossoming in equal measure.

There are a few solutions for how to deal with all this, so it doesn’t totally overwhelm us, and kind of paralyse us, mentally and physically.

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SOLUTION 1: REDUCE THE FLOW OF ‘INFORMATION’ COMING IN

Baruch Hashem, I am getting a lot of information, and chiddushim coming in via email at the moment, which is great.

But I also know that I’m reaching my limits of being able to absorb it all, so unless it’s ‘on topic’ for what I happen to be working on at the moment, or always interested in, I’m not ‘reacting’ to it in the same way I was a few weeks ago, or giving it the same headspace.

Similarly, I have been ‘off’ all the Jewish news sites for three weeks now, and that has freed up SO MUCH brain power and emotional and spiritual energy.

If someone sends me a link, I will still happily check that out.

But I realised that sticking all that tumah information in my brain 24/7, from these propaganda sites, is effectively just doing the job of ‘brainwashing’ myself, on some level.

S0, I am no longer giving my soul power away to these sites, and the evil agendas they promote, and the evil organisations that run them.

It’s 95% fake news anyway, and the 5% that is true is always spun in a ‘fake’, bad-for-my-soul way.

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I’m not on social media, so I forget to take that into account, but if you are still sucking up all the ‘info’ from Fakebook, Twitter, Instagram and Whatsapp – try to stop doing that.

Leave as many Whatsapp groups as you can; get off Fakebook permanently; delete Twitter – or write a truthful tweet about Covid 19 shots being experimental, dangerous, gene therapy and watch how quickly  you get thrown off, without having to do anything else.

The dark side uses the internet to literally ‘feed’ off of our soul-power.

If you are doing stuff online that isn’t making your soul sing, isn’t bringing you closer to God, in some way, isn’t giving you a hirhur of teshuvastop doing it.

Or at least, WANT to stop doing it, and then ask God to help you make that desire a reality.

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SOLUTION 2: MAKE TIME TO TALK TO GOD FOR AN HOUR EVERY SINGLE DAY

I know that’s hard.

At the moment, every day feels so full of stuff – even though I don’t really know what I’m doing or accomplishing, tachlis.

But I’m feeling busy all the time, at the moment, without a lot of spare energy.

And some days, I am struggling to do the hour of hitbodedut, or talking to God, that I’ve been doing for the last 14 years, even in the toughest of times.

Yesterday, I was half way through when I had an unexpected ‘interruption’ that meant I had to split my hour in two, which is definitely better than nothing, but is not ideal.

And that keeps happening a lot, at the moment.

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Point is:

The hitbodedut is literally the only thing that will keep you sane at the moment, and help you to navigate the birur that is heating up – particularly close to home, in the orthodox Jewish sphere.

In terms of rabbis who are actively pushing Covid shots on people, my rule of thumb is this:

Anyone who is doing that, at this stage, fits into one of four categories:

  • Spiritually corrupt
  • Bribed
  • Threatened
  • Senile

That’s all I need to know.

I don’t need to take their pronouncements seriously, and I don’t need to get into slanging matches online about which category they fit into.

If there is evidence and facts to share, to help do the birur, I will share that, and then let people make up their own minds.

And that’s it.

Anything else is just pointlessly squandering my time, energy and soul-power on things that don’t really lead to a positive outcome.

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Talking to God every day is how I’m also dealing with the ongoing challenges in my private life.

Last Friday, a ‘situation’ developed with one of my kids that got me so angry, I literally didn’t want to speak to them for what felt like ever again.

I knew I was over-reacting, but I also couldn’t help it.

So, I did a six hours on Shabbat, with the aim of trying to defuse the anger and to feel more compassion for that kid, and by the end of Shabbat, I was feeling way calmer, and way more in the mood to reconcile and sort things out properly.

I had a two hour chat with the kid motzash, and we cleared things up between us in a very helpful way.

How did that happen?

Only with hitbodedut.

It gave me the clarity to see where I was over-reacting, and also gave me the clarity to understand where the kid was coming from, and what was really causing the issues.

And lastly, it gave me the motivation to climb down off my ‘righteously angry’ hobby-horse, and to reach out and make peace.

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If you still can’t manage hitbodedut every day, then at least try to say at least one tikkun haklali, or try to say at least one Shmoneh Esrei a bit more slowly, and with some real intent.

Something, to keep that connection between the soul and Hashem oiled and in operation.

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SOLUTION 3: PICK YOUR AREAS OF FOCUS, AND STICK TO THEM

This is kind of connected to Solutions 1 and 2, but it’s super-easy for the yetzer hara to drag us off down a million blind alleys right now, especially with all the new information and ‘breakthroughs’ coming in all the time.

I can cope with a lot of information, as a general rule, but I realised that I am also hitting the wall of ‘information overload’ at the moment.

I was thinking about what God really wants from me, and what came back to me, as my personal message, is that I need to be focussing in on:

  • Unpicking the Sabbatean history stuff.
  • Finding solutions to, and educating people about, what’s going on with Covid shots, bio-nanotech and radiation.
  • Rav Berland  – as and when required.

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That first topic all by itself covers a tremendous amount of challenging ground, and is taking me all over the place, from HAARP to the Russian Revolution, Cuba, MK Ultra – and much inbetween.

And the second topic often intersects with the first, especially as we move into the next stage of this process, when ‘the nations of the world’ will start blaming the real Jews for what all these Sabbatian-Freemason-Frankists have been up to.

But the point is: if I don’t stay focussed, I can’t stay the course, and get my particular part of this birur done.

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So, identify your priorities and focus areas – and stick to them.

And that also applies to ‘real life’ stuff, like choosing to prioritise making supper for yourself and your family over spending time on social media gossiping.

And choosing who you really want to be talking to right now, and for how much of your time.

And even, choosing how much Torah to learn, and when, versus how much work to be doing, and how much time to be spent making parnassa.

All this stuff is also part of the birur process that is currently going red-hot for all of us.

And if you don’t know what you should be focussing on, or concentrating on right now, go back to God, and ask Him for some clues.

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SOLUTION 4: EXPLORE WAYS TO DETOX PHYSICALLY

I guess the first 3 solutions are spiritual / mental / emotional ways to detox to all the ‘pollution’ and tumah filling our world and our minds right now.

But there is still a pronounced physical side to all this, too, which is why I am still busy exploring new ideas about what can help us all detox from the nanotech, Covid shots and radiation we are currently being exposed to.

Yesterday, someone recommended I watch this video, for more information about how to ‘detox’ from radiation and nanotech:

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It’s from 2016, and he says a lot of things that I found very interesting, particularly about scalar energy, and about how human intention can ‘reprogram’ the physical world, DNA – and even get radiation to disappear.

(He also talks about aliens…. But not much. What can we do, the birur continues….)

His name is Ken Rohla, and you can get to his website HERE.

Another thing he mentioned, casually, is how volcanic eruptions are ‘nature’s way’ of naturally hitting the reset button, and that they actually do a lot of things to help clear out radiation, and remineralise the oceans and atmosphere in a way that is very beneficial for human beings.

It made me think of that Tonga volcanic eruption, dafka on Tu B’Shvat.

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For example:

Take a look at THIS PDF on his site, entitled:

HOW TO HELP SUPPORT THE BODY’S HEALING AFTER INTENSE RADIOACTIVE OR RADIATION EXPOSURE

This is a screenshot of its Table of Contents – there’s a lot of good, simple, inexpensive ideas here:

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Good things are about to start happening – lots and lots of them!

But, we need to stay focussed.

This next bit of the birur is probably going to be very difficult and painful, not least within the Jewish community itself.

So, keep your mind open to new possibilities and new information – but also, set some found boundaries and stay focussed, so you don’t get ‘swept away’ by what is happening next.

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And the last thing to say is:

Try to connect as much as possible to Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, and Rav Eliezer Berland.

Rav Berland has recently said more than once that Shuvu Banim is the ‘ark’, of our generation.

Whoever is on that ark, in whichever way they can manage it, will be able to navigate what’s coming next way easier, and way more safely, than the people who are not on that ark.

From here on it, the waters only get more stormy and dark.

So prepare yourself.

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