Until this week, I haven’t been able to see my parents for 4 years.
There was a family batmitzvah in London planned for the month ‘Covid’ really kicked off, back in 2020, and all travel got shut down. We were all waiting to meet up again at that – and that didn’t happen.
And then, with all the fascist rules about ‘green passports’ that they were trying to enforce for a year… going to London was off the cards.
I told my mum, when they get rid of all the PCR testing at Ben Gurion, I will immediately book a ticket and come and see you.
Ben Gurion dropped the PCR tests at midnight last Friday. So Sunday morning, I was off to London.
The first 12 hours, I was appreciating the fact that I could actually speak to people, and they would probably understand what I was saying. (Mostly….) I was loving seeing my extended family again. I was kind of liking the green trees everywhere.
A strange thing happened.
After that first day, I just started to feel that the whole place was dragging me down, emotionally and spiritually.
I was standing in one of the millions of kosher bakeries on Golders Green Road, debating whether I should have a vegetarian sausage roll ‘for old times sake’ – when the spell suddenly broke.
Why would I eat this stodgy, unhealthy food, when I just feel ill afterwards?
That’s when I realised that the whole place is built on appearances of stuff that ‘looks good’ – but actually just makes you sick.
What do you do in places like London, except obsess over houses, holidays – and pastry?
Long story short, at the end of the three days there, me and my husband both felt that when the Rambam wrote that mitzvot don’t really ‘count’, in chul, and that they only reason Jews continue to do them there is so they won’t forget how to do them when they return to Eretz Yisrael – he was totally right.
Everything there felt so empty.
So disconnected from God.
Just before I left London for good, 17 years ago, I had what most people considered to be a ‘perfect’ life.
Prestigious job, relatively nice house, nice family, lots of friends, nice clothes, blahdy blah.
But I literally felt so unhappy there, that I kept telling my husband that if we didn’t find a way to move out of London, I felt like I wasn’t going to last out another year.
At the time, that seemed like hyperbole and drama-queen-ness.
But now, having spent three days there, I can see how on some level, there was no exaggeration going on.
Because your soul just gets so unhappy in these places – even when Kosher Kingdom is packed full of more glatt gourmet chocolate than you get even in Jerusalem.
I know I have readers who live in chul.
And I know many of them are on a way higher level, spiritually, than I am.
But this is what I feel:
The shechinah has left chutz l’aretz.
Israel right now is full of problems and issues.
Chock full, of problems and issues, while we all wait for this Erev Rav State to finally fall apart, and be replaced by something so, so much better.
But here is what I realised, this last week:
All the tumah in Israel is totally not shiyach to either the place, or the people.
It’s like a mask, a costume, that looks pretty convincing externally, but which can and will dissolve instantly, as soon as God decides that we have reached that stage, as a people.
It’s not like that in chul.
Even the ‘holiest’ places in chul – like Golders Green – are still based on tumah and feel empty of kedusha.
And even the most tumah-dik places in Eretz Yisrael are still based on kedusha, and that holiness can and will shine through very soon.
I’m not telling you to move or stay.
I’m just sharing how it looks to me, through my subjective lens.
Before I went for that trip, I put a question into the Rav, Rav Berland, about whether it was OK for me to leave Eretz Yisrael even just for three days, to go and visit my parents, as we live in such crazy times at the moment.
The answer I got back surprised me:
The Rav said that England is in danger of war and there is a lot of antisemitism.
But if you are just visiting parents and not roaming around it’s ok. You could go and you have nothing to worry about.
I discussed that surprising statement that ‘England is in danger of war’ with my brother, when I got there.
He told me he agreed – but explained that the ‘war’ he thinks is coming to the UK is a civil war, not a war from external forces.
Inflation is officially running at 7 1/2% – and he says that real inflation is probably twice that.
The cost of living is skyrocketing as I type, with energy bills doubling and even tripling for many of the poorest people, who were struggling to get buy even before that.
The pound is tanking, and my brother explained that if they don’t start to put interest rates up in the UK, sterling’s future as a ‘serious currency’ will effectively be over.
But putting interests up in any serious way is going to torpedo the stock market, and also house prices there.
My brother analyses these sort of trends for a living.
He knows what he’s talking about.
At the same time, my niece in JFS told me that 10% of her school is now ‘coming out’ as either gay or ‘trans’.
And that she has to deal with a boy in her sports class who ‘self-identifies as a girl’ and is now in the girls’ changing room.
All of the girls feel pretty uncomfortable having to get undressed in front of him.
But there is nothing they can do, because the girls’ right to maintain basic rules of tznius, and female dignity, are being completely trampled by anti-Torah ‘woke’ culture.
Personally, I think things really can’t get too much worse, before Moshiach has to come.
My husband disagrees. He thinks there is still quite a way to go, and that the whole of society, as we know it, first has to crumble into the dust, before most people will be open to geula, mamash.
I guess as things continue to play out, we’ll find out who is more on the mark.
So, today I’m back in Jerusalem.
And today, I am feeling so grateful that even though I don’t own my home, and I don’t earn money, and I can’t properly speak the language, and the police here are homicidal psychos, and the politicians are all evil, and I still haven’t worked out where to get comfy pants here – dayenu.
I am in the best place in the world.
And I am so grateful to Hashem, that He got me out of London 17 years ago, and brought me to the Holy Land.
I have a lot of stuff to get on with, here on the blog.
But I’m still taking it easy here, until after Shavuot.
Which coincides this year with ramping up the 5…G to 26 ghz, that frequency that has never been properly tested on humans, and is likely to cause a whole range of very serious health issues to a whole bunch of people, including skin lesions, which will then be blamed on ‘Monkey Pox’.
(If you go HERE, you’ll find a recent report from the CDC, explaining how 5…G radiation can cause the eruption of lesions on the skin, aka ‘cutaneous radiation injury’.)
The world of lies continues still, for now.
But very soon….it’s going to fall.
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