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I woke up today feeling pretty sad.

I guess it’s finally sinking in that millions of my fellow Jews, my fellow human beings, have been totally sold down the river with this whole, evil Covid scam.

So many of my kids’ friends have had this Pfizer ‘vaccine’ that really isn’t.

So much of my family, both in Israel and abroad.

Some of my extended family members even lied and said they were social workers, so they could jump the queue to get ‘vaccinated’ in the UK.

All this is making me very sad.

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If I forget that God is really running the world, and that He can choose to turn all this around for the best, then the sadness is overwhelming.

All those people who say ‘we followed daat Torah in temimut, nothing bad can happen to us’ – do you know how many people followed daat Torah (“quote marks”) who told them it was OK to stay in Europe, to stay in Hungary, during World War II?

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I was talking to my husband about this today, and he told me a couple of things that really helped me cheer up, at least enough to get on with making Shabbat.

  1. He told me that now we are back in Eretz Yisrael, the hashgacha pratit, the Divine oversight of what’s going on is totally miraculous. God could have wiped the whole of Israel out 60 times over, already. We’ve had so many wars with miraculous outcomes, already.

Every second here is a miracle, already, Pfizer shot or not Pfizer shot, and if God wanted us all dead, He could have arranged that a long time ago.

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2. The second thing he told me is that today, we also have the Rav, Rav Berland.

The Rav has been busy sweetening things behind the scenes the last couple of decades, already.

So many things have already not gone to ‘plan’ for the forces of evil, there is good reason to feel more optimistic about the future in Israel, than I currently do.

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I’m still really sad.

I still just feel like crying my eyes out about what’s gone on here.

But, I have to make the effort, spiritually, to remember that God is all there is, and that everything CAN be turned around for the good in a second.

God is only good.

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And God is all there is.

BH, He’ll come and rescue us from all this evil and madness soon.

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Rosh Chodesh Adar rolled in, and I felt a black cloud start to descend.

So much fear about ‘what will be’…

So much sadness about what is ALREADY happening….

So much anger about all these dumb, evil people, all these ‘selfish narcissists’, psycho parents, egotistical bloggers, fake prophets, Dr Evils, neo-brown-shirt politicians, bureaucrats and journalists etc etc etc.

Man, I’ve been swimming in an ocean of difficult feelings the last few days.

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Just so much anger at God, so much worry about everything that’s going on, so many recriminations against other people.

And then yesterday, I realised something that changed the whole picture:

I’m having a flashback.

I wrote all about that on my old website, which is sadly no more, but the basis idea is that ‘big feelings’ that we couldn’t deal with from the past can roar back in the present, and ‘drag us back’ to that traumatised state of mind that was never properly dealt with and defused.

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As soon as you realise what’s going on with emotional flashbacks, they diminish by at least 75%, instantly.

What sparked my ‘flashback’ off was a few different things, including in no real order:

  1. Getting into a minor car crash – which reminded me of the horrible crash I had after the Baba Sali, that meant I had to sell my house and move to Jerusalem in very difficult circumstances.
  2. Having to deal with someone else’s ‘psycho mum‘ – which reminded me of the horrible narcissists I’ve had to deal with in my own dalet amot – until everything got sweetened with a few different pidyonot paid across to Rav Berland.
  3. Seeing that video by Yair Elitzur, filmed in Chut Shel Chesed – which brought back to me just how many high hopes we had when we first moved to Jerusalem of belonging to a real, Breslov community. And how badly they got dashed.

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If you’ve been with me on the blog for a while, you’ll already know what I’m talking about.

And if you haven’t been with me that long- go buy THIS or THIS or THIS on Amazon, and catch yourself up.

Point is, God has been shoving all these ‘unprocessed’ emotions in my face the last 3 days, because He finally wants me to really deal with them.

And point is, probably He’s also been shoving a whole bunch of ‘unprocessed emotions’ in your face, too.

So, it’s not that your husband / mother-in-law / boss / kid / neighbor is now more annoying and upsetting and dumb than they’ve ever been before.

It’s just that God is using them to do some emotional spring-cleaning.

We’re coming down to the wire, there is no more lying to ourselves about what we really think and feel, what we’re really experiencing and why. This is the world of truth, people, and it’s roaring in a million miles an hour.

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So, once I realised all this, and I spent some time in hitbodedut finally acknowledging all these deeply buried, undigested feelings, I started to feel way, way better and happier and calmer.

And probably, you will too.

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I speed-watched most of Rav Anava’s new shiur yesterday, and he made some good points, similar to what I’ve been banging on about on this blog for years, that working on our bad middot is the real test, before geula kicks off in earnest.

(Ooooo, I just had a thought: do you think that I could be Moshiach? I mean, I have a blog…. and I (sometimes…) talk about Torah sources… and (two years ago) I also had a Youtube channel… and I also called out Bill Gates for being a psycho eugenicist when that wasn’t so popular…)

No?

Ah well.

Maybe if I had more of a beard….

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Which brings me to this:

If you want the upshot, it’s basically saying that having some of the Rav’s prayers in the house is akin to smearing blood on the lintels, ahead of the Plague of the Firstborn, that decimated Egypt – and finally led to the Israelites being freed.

The way things are going, I would highly recommend you get your skates on, and get some of those prayers for yourself, your friends and your family members, while you still can.

(Reality check: I have a lot of friends and family members that I’ve basically given up on, when it comes to Rav Berland.

I guess this is the midda kneged midda part of the process, that anyone who bought all the media lies about the Rav has removed themselves from being able to access the protection of segulot like this. It’s sad, but I can no longer be bothered arguing with anyone, directly, and they’ll have to live with the consequences of their own decisions, like we all will.)

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The latest update on the Rav is that last week the court decided that he could go to house arrest, if he puts up a total of 4 million shekels (!!!!) in bail money, and agrees to have no phone, no contact – at all – with the outside world, and especially not his community.

Let’s be clear: THERE IS NO CASE.

There never was.

And even if there was a case, surely the year he’s already spent in prison would be equal to any possible sentence they could hand down for the ‘crime’ of doing pidyon nefesh for people?

So, thanks for nothing, cr*ppy State of Israel, who is now extorting a huge fortune out of the Rav and his community, at a time when all the borders are apparently sealed shut, so the ‘flight risk’ is the lowest it could possibly be.

But it’s still progress, of sorts.

Moshiach is riding on a donkey, the process is going excrutiatingly slowly, but it’s still going.

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Which brings me to this, the last thing for today.

It’s a comment that was left on both the Shirat Devorah and Tomer Devorah blogs – bloggers who bought all the lies about the Rav, and so now refuse to link to anything from the ravberland.com website, or about the Rav.

Which is a shame, because that’s where you are really going to find the real information, the real news, you need to get through the next part of this process intact, however ‘switched on’ you might otherwise be.

The commentator, who calls themselves ‘Real News’, basically synthesized a lot of information from the English and Hebrew Shuvu Banim sites, amongst other places – but God forbid, anyone should link to those sites, or say anything positive about Rav Berland in the comments section of those blogs!!!

I mean, Rav Berland doesn’t have a blog… or a youtube channel… and he never called out Bill Gates for being a (probable) transgendered eugenicist loving psycho live on TV, so for sure, he can’t be Moshiach….

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Here’s the comment, in the meantime.

I’m bringing it because that ‘fear’ the Rabbanit Stern spoke of, starting Rosh Chodesh Adar, is internal.

It’s linked to all the unfinished emotional business I covered above.

Forewarned is fore-armed, because this process is only going to intensify now, regardless of the Covid 19 Purimshpiel, or the ‘Iranian Nuke’ Purimshpiel, or the ‘war between settlers and arabs’ Purimshpiel, and all the rest of the fake news.

The real war of Gog and Magog is emotional; it’s internal; it’s the war of emuna and emunat tzaddikim.

It’s the war of finally owning up to our bad middot.

And if you’ve been skipping doing that work – well, the consequences of your actions and ego are about to be revealed openly.

There’s no more running away.

There’s no more hiding.

Because that ‘donkey’ that Moshiach is riding is almost here.

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Real News said…

On June 11, 2020, Rav Yehuda Sheinfeld said, “We are in the last stages of the chevlei Moshiach (birthpangs of the Moshiach). All that’s left is the final few months of the chevlei Moshiah.”

Rav Yehuda Sheinfeld, shlita, is a well-known kabbalist, and close student of the late Milkman, z”tl (https://bit.ly/2ZcJh1B).

This article was published on June 11, 2020. From June 11, 2020 to March 14, 2021 is 9 months and 3 days. Fortunately, the Gemara says that in [the month of*] Nissan we were redeemed from Egypt and in Nissan in the future we will be redeemed in the final redemption (Rosh Hashanah 11a).

*Not on Pesach.
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On October 14, the daughter of Rav Dovid Chaim Stern, one of the biggest Kabbalists living now, Rabbanit Stern who is a very big Tzaddaiket said the following:

Then she said: Listen well – the Mashiach is very close and will be revealed soon. In the month of Adar, there is going to be a lot of chaos in the world, in Israel and all over the world, there will be tremendous confusion, many people will die.

Many well respected rabbis are also not going to merit receiving Mashiach, they will not survive, because they are not really tzaddikim.

Why? She said that for them the main thing is learning Torah and they disregard all the requirements of bein adaim l’chaveiro, how a person is supposed to treat others. Love of your fellow man. Not to listen or speak lashon hara.

All those people defile the mitzvah of doing chessed/kindness to others, will not be around when Mashiach is revealed. Ba’alai Machloket, those who stir up strife, will not be around.

Also, those who are not tzinut/modest, they will also not be around when Mashiach comes. Everyone now has time to fix the sin of lashon hara/speaking or thinking badly about others. We have until around the month of Adar (the month when Purim falls), which is around March. It is 4 months from now.

Everyone needs to fix everything in the next 4 months. She continued and said that those who remain will merit to greet Mashiach in the month of Nissan (the month when Pesach falls).

Rabbanit Stern herself said in a recording that there will be tremendous fear, in the world, in the month of Adar. Everyone in the world will be scared, more than right now.

She said, the main thing to work on is Interpersonal Relationships.

The Redemption already has begun, but it is hidden.

There are a lot of people who will not merit to be around.

She said by Pesach there will be a beautiful Redemption (http://bit.ly/3pkDod6).
—–

Remember, you can go HERE to download a bunch of Rav Berland’s prayers for free, to distribute.

And you can also get hard copies of all four of the prayer books on Amazon, by clicking the links below:

Rabbi Eliezer Berland’s Prayers: Prayers for every day, and every situation

Rabbi Eliezer Berland’s Prayers 2: Prayers for Health and Wellness

Rabbi Eliezer Berland’s Prayers 3: Prayers for Holy Children

Rabbi Eliezer Berland’s Prayers 4: Prayers for Shalom Bayit

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UPDATE:

I got this message from Ida-Fake-Name, and it’s making some good points, so I thought I’d post it up:

Name: Ida-Fake-Name
E-Mail: ida@fakename.com
Subject: comments – the light in the darkness

Message: Dear Mrs. Levy,

This is in response to your responses in the comments section and your newest post. Since the original intent was not in any way to embarrass you, it seems better to respond in a private message… feel free to copy any or all of this to comments or other posts (not out of context, of course). The intent is to help, not to attack and create machloket.

The intent of the original comment was not for bizayon or to attack Rav Berland or you. You generally have very thoughtful posts with a high degree of scrutiny – your “BS-O-Meter” or whatever you want to call it. Generally you investigate things and present them with a critical approach…

In this post, you started writing about all the experiences bringing back different things that needed to be sorted out, etc., and how you were trying hard to change the narrative of Adar / Purim of past years. You talked about spring-cleaning and self improvement, etc., which were great thoughts, insights, goals, and everything. Then you went on to mention Rabbi Anava’s shiur… and went on to make what was either an attempt at humor or a passive aggressive attack either on Rabbi Anava or on other people who hold him in high esteem. The whole “(Ooooo… do you think that I could be Moshiach? blog, youtube, bill gates, etc… maybe if I had more of a beard…” You just got done writing such wonderful things about self improvement, working on middos, etc., then continue into making fun of a rav who, whatever you think of him or others’ opinions of him, has totally dedicated himself to serving Hashem, to emet, to teaching other people and has seriously impacted thousands upon thousands of lives with his shiurim. Whether you agree with him or what others think of him or whatever, the point is is that he’s a holy Jew who is trying to bring kavod Shamayim to the world… and he’s being made fun of – again, not clear if you’re just being silly or whatever, but it comes off as passive aggressive / bitterness, perhaps even bitter that there are people out there who rejected Rav Berland while seemingly embrace Rabbi Anava (this especially seems true based on the later paragraphs about two other blogs who bought all the lies and about “Rav Berland doesn’t have a blog… etc etc etc… he can’t be Moshiach…”). With all of the talk about loving people, accepting them, seeing that they’re here to help us with our middos, fix ourselves, etc., this feels pretty bitter…

That’s what initiated the original comment, although looking at it again, that wasn’t really clear to you that it was the motivation… personally, it really had nothing to do with accepting or rejecting Rav Berland either as a holy Jew, a rav, the tzaddik of the dor or anything.

At the very least, you have made a very convincing argument (here and previously) that Rav Berland has been treated unfairly by the state (understatement) and someone has an agenda to keep him from what he should be doing on behalf of the Jewish people.

That being said, a short while back, you posted the audio of Rabbanit Stern warning very literally to prepare talit / tefillin, a wallet, etc., to be prepared to escape to wherever and you very clearly wrote that you didn’t know to believe it or not, but what would it hurt to be prepared. Fine – but it clearly didn’t happen on Rosh Chodesh the way described in the audio… you went on to write “I’m bringing it because that ‘fear’ the Rabbanit Stern spoke of, starting Rosh Chodesh Adar, is internal.” So now things are being “interpreted” – sure she said to literally prepare a wallet and talit / tefillin and get ready to run to “you’ll know where” on Rosh Chodesh… but she didn’t really mean it literally – it’s a metaphor or something.

That’s what it sounds like you’re saying… which is what was written in the original comment that if someone else related to something like that in a similar way, you would probably call them out on it. It’s like you couldn’t say she was wrong, because now she has something new to say that is good or helpful or whatever… you went on to quote a comment someone else posted, I think from Rav Berland’s website, that Rabbanit Stern is making more predictions or whatever… but who is she and based on what should we now believe her? Because her previous explicit predictions / warnings were inappropriately taken literally when really it was all figurative? On rosh chodesh we were supposed to sleep with our figurative wallet next to our bed and be ready to escape in a metaphoric way for really being somehow turned upside down internally to work on our unfinished emotional business?

“She said by Pesach there will be a beautiful Redemption” – certainly we all hope so!! But was that contingent on the whole upheaval on Rosh Chodesh Adar that didn’t take place? Or really it did in a spiritual / metaphoric / internal way and whoever “ran out with their wallet” in an internal way will now be redeemed?

The point isn’t to keep harping on all of this – my problem was with the less than critical analysis of Rabbanit Stern’s previous warning, then jumping to bringing more of her predictions – from my perspective, none of it had to do with Rav Berland one way or the other – from what is written on your blog, it doesn’t look like what Rabbanit Stern said related to him directly.

In summary – your whole post started talking about how we need to relate to what happens to us by working on our middos, fixing ourselves (ie, it’s not about the other person, it’s about looking inward). Then you apparently mocked Rabbi Anava (which again, regardless of what you think of him or what people say about him, he’s very sincere in his intention), and seemed very bitter… that was followed by not adequately addressing a failed prediction, then bringing further predictions from the same person… then in the comments when the whole part about the comments of Rabbanit Stern were being related to, you responded very angrily and rudely and defensively about the comment having a “dissing the Rav vibe” that you picked up from a mile away.

It seems you should have taken the time to relax and examine it from closer than a mile away and perhaps you could have deciphered the original intent. Apologies for not making it clearer and more explicit and also for seemingly calling you out in the comments – the intent was not to embarrass you, but more to challenge you. You many wonderful things and seem like you want to get to the emet, whatever it is, and therefore challenging your conclusions seemed within the realm of acceptable. Please don’t take it personally and forgive me.

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Takeaways:

  1. Thanks for prompting me to clarify that my intention was not to mock Rav Anava, God forbid.

He’s a brave person, and he’s doing his best to strive after truth. My intention WAS to mock the people who keep coming up with one ‘personality’ after another who they think is moshiach – including politicians, ex-cons and even non-Jews, without even trying to consider whether they ‘fit’ what the Jewish sources say about the identifying signs for Moshiach.

I can see that I was writing from a bitter place, for a few different reasons, and I appreciate the thoughtful discussion about it. As always, I’m a flawed human being, and I was having a really bad few days, when I wrote this piece.

2. I forgive you, Ida-Fake-Name, for the upset caused.

Please also forgive me for carpeting you publically on the blog.

As a footnote, it would be much easier to avoid nastiness if you would use your real name in future, when commenting.

I try to abide by the laws of lashon hara, but when someone is ‘anonymous’ – they don’t apply. And that’s sometimes too hard a test to pass, to have a loophole for evil speech and not to use it.

3. I AM very frustrated with a lot of the bloggers out there.

It’s frustrating me that other ‘opinion formers’ in the Jewish blogging world are refusing to even discuss the possibility that they got it wrong about the Rav.

But you are right, that approaching this subject with bitterness is counter-productive.

God is doing everything, after all, even apparently hardening the hearts of these people.

So, BH, we’re squared off now, and I’ll put a comment up under the other comments, so people can come check back on the update for this post.

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Yesterday, I got some interesting emails.

(My emails are currently going through the roof, btw, so if I don’t respond to yours, please forgive me.)

I had a whole bunch of emails talking about the Baal Shem Tov, and ‘excommunicated tzaddikim’, and how we are forbidden to question tzaddikim.

And then, I had some other emails related to NWO stuff, that I’m still evaluating and sifting through.

And then, amongst other things, I had an email telling me this:

[M]y husband is friends with someone very close to the Rav. This friend asked if he should take the vaccine and which company. He got a response back to vaccinate with Pfizer!!!! 

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It seems all this is actually linked, so let’s try to unpick what is really going on here.

Let’s start with that last email, a person who asked someone who is ‘very close to the Rav’ about whether to get ‘vaccinated’ with an experimental gene therapy with very limited efficacy, plus a list of unknown and potentially very serious side effects, especially over the long term.

Here’s my thoughts on this, in no particular order:

  • I have no idea if the ‘friend’ really knows someone who is close to the Rav.
  • I have no idea if the ‘friend’ is genuinely pious and good, or a religious faker.
  • I have no idea if the ‘friend’ really asked that question to someone who is close to the Rav in the first place, or is using the Rav’s name to try and sway other people.
  • Assuming the ‘friend’ really does know someone close to the Rav, and really did ask them the question – I have no idea if that ‘person close to the Rav’ actually asked the Rav this question (or whether they are genuine or a faker). It seems unlikely to me that the question was even asked, given that the Rav is currently still in prison, and it’s very hard for even his closest family members to speak to him.
  • It’s also very difficult for me to believe that the Rav would say something like this – assuming all the other points above are taken care of – because the way of Breslov rabbis is not to tell people to definitely do things, but to give gentle advice, and encourage people to think for themselves.
  • To that end, I have seen a whole bunch of people get mighty confused when they started trying to use the Rav as some sort of ‘oracle’ or ‘prediction machine’. The Rav – and no other tzaddik – is a shortcut for trying to have your own conversation with God, or working on your own emuna.
  • The best way to get the ‘advice’ from the true tzaddikim is to read their books, and find yourself in their advice.
  • Assuming the Rav really was asked in a genuine way, and really did respond like this- the Rav is currently being held in prison, in awful conditions. If they can coerce and threaten rabbis outside of prison to say what they want with violence and threats, how much more so, this applies to the Rav.

They are literally trying to kill him in there, God forbid.

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All this reminds me of all those people I knew back in London, who insisted on ‘asking a rabbi’ if they should make aliyah, or stay put.

The very fact that they were asking the rabbi showed that they were divided about the idea of going to Israel. That they lacked the inner conviction probably required to put up with all the difficulties and hardships involved.

So, they ‘asked a rabbi’ to offload the decision to someone else, and to try and throw a sop to their own consciences, and if they picked their rabbi well – they didn’t have to move.

Lucky them!

Olam hazeh and olam habah, in one bundle.

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The yetzer hara has been given permission to confuse people tremendously right now.

Even rabbis and tzaddikim with impeccable credentials are apparently being manipulated, duped, threatened, ‘deep fake video-d’, or I don’t know what, around this whole vaccine question.

Remember, when there was that whole hysteria about a measles epidemic in Uman, a couple of years back?

(That was probably just a dry run for what’s going on with Covid, but I digress….)

Some mysterious ‘message’ appeared on the Shuvu Banim Hebrew site saying that the Rav had told everyone to get vaccinated with the measles jab, before heading out to Uman for Rosh Hashana.

I read that – and I just knew in my bones that it wasn’t ‘real.’

Doesn’t matter who really said what, how it got there, whether or not it was genuine.

The point was, it went against my own inner daat, so I had to check it out very carefully in hitbodedut, and the message I got back, for me, was to ignore it.

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There are no shortcuts here.

If I was buying into all the media (fake…) hysteria about measles in Uman back in 2018, and I was subconsciously looking for a reason to get the measles jab – then would have pounced on this ‘announcement’ like manna from the sky.

This whole thing is just a test of emuna, a test of who we really are, and where we are really holding, spiritually.

We live in a world populated by high-level fakers and charlatans who excel in ‘appearing to be perfect’ in their religious observance, and in giving long speeches and mussar shiurim about how the rest of us should really behave, and should really act, if we want to have perfect emuna like them.

I’m not perfect.

I struggle mightily to know what God really wants from me.

I struggle mightily to maintain emuna, in the face of a constant onslaught of lies and apparent ‘bad’. It’s only my hitbodedut that helps me out, and keeps me going.

But because I keep going into that birur process, internally, it’s giving me a clearer and clearer signal that ‘something isn’t quite right’, when I hit people and pronouncements that don’t seem to be coming from a good place.

Regardless of who is apparently making those statements.

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For the record, even if a ‘video’ comes out with the Rav apparently clearly telling me I HAVE to go and get jabbed with an experimental gene therapy, I’m not going to do that.

But also for the record, if in my hitbodedut, God starts telling me that I’ve got this all wrong, and I need to go and get jabbed with an experimental gene therapy – well, I can tell you that I will at least reconsider all angles very carefully again, before coming to a decision.

That’s how we keep our thought processes healthy and flexible, and open to new information and insights that might change the whole picture.

Black and white thinking – the ‘all of nothing’ paradigm – is a clear indication that you are a psycho.

Remember that.

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So now, let’s just take a quick look at another topic my inbox was full of yesterday: did the Baal Shem Tov really get excommunicated by the Vilna Gaon?

The short answer is: No, he didn’t.

The Baal Shem Tov died in 1760, and the first (very limited and short-term) excommunication of the chassidim in Vilna is meant to have happened in 1772 – 12 years after the death of the BESHT.

Also, it’s totally unclear whether even then, the Vilna Gaon is meant to have excommunicated chassidim, the way we understand that word today, or chassidim – meaning the secret followers of Shabtai Tzvi and Jacob Frank who remained in the Jewish community.

(Yes, I know who was leading chassidut at that time. There is still a lot of unpicking required here.)

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I wrote a great deal about these things two years ago, before I got into ‘Frankist real history mode’, and you can read some of that stuff below:

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Just for the record, Rebbe Nachman was never excommunicated. And Moshe Rabbenu was never excommunicated. And the Rambam himself wasn’t excommunicated, even though some of his works (The Guide for the Perplexed) were.

Yes, there was a lot opposition to them.

But these tzaddikim were never excommunicated.

It’s important to stick with the facts as much as we’re able, because what really happened in the past is murky enough without adding to the confusion.

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As always, I’m very happy to be sent more information and more sources, to continue this birur process.

As new information comes in, it will for sure change the picture, and the conclusions to be made.

That’s good. That’s healthy.

As soon as people want to close down a discussion based on facts and credible information (as opposed to name-calling and groundless opinion), that always gets me worried.

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Let’s end with this.

For sure, we have to be super-careful with lashon hara, and with accepting false reports about any Jew, let alone a true tzaddik.

But that doesn’t mean that can’t question what’s really going on, and that we can’t voice our kooshiot about our leaders and rabbis in our hitbodedut. 

That is the real – and only – place that you’ll get the truth.

And it’s not only something you can do, it’s something that you are absolutely obligated and obliged to do at this period of time, when so many of our leaders literally have heresy dripping out of their pockets.

There are no shortcuts.

And the best fakers have a veritable team of professional PR people singing their praises 24/7.

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Of course, we don’t question True Tzaddikim, God forbid.

But for sure, we question who is really a ‘true tzaddik’? – exhaustively! – before we let our guard down and move them into the ‘untouchable’ box.

Too many people have been hurt by too many fakers, because they didn’t do this. This is the minimal hishtadlut required of all us.

Because it’s no mitzvah to mindlessly follow after false prophets, charlatans and evil people.

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Engaging with reality is sometimes very ‘heavy’ and demoralising.

That’s why so many people prefer to leave their heads in the sand, and to tell themselves ‘unrealistic’ fairy stories about what’s really happening all around them, and why.

It’s human nature. God built us that way.

But like everything, there is a good way of using that tendency and a ‘bad’ way of using it.

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The bad way of using this tendency to believe in unrealistic happy endings and ‘miraculous salvations’ is when we don’t engage with the truth of what’s really occurring, and we believe that things will somehow ‘workout’ without doing our part, without getting the message, that God is trying to send us.

The ‘message’ from all this Coronavirus stuff is to stop believing in the world of lies; to start talking to God more and to get to know our own souls again; and to make whatever teshuva is required from us – especially in the area of bein adam l’havero.

Rav Berland pointed out last year, when all this was just beginning, that ‘corona’ and bein adam l’havero have the same gematria of 363.

That’s not stam, it’s not a coincidence.

It’s a big clue from God, as to what we really need to be working on, here, to get all this stuff to go away.

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A week before the Rav got arrested, and two weeks before ‘Corona’ began in earnest, in Israel, he said this:

Hashem is not giving up! He’s not backing down!

He’s is making earthquakes, cities sinking in the ground, and the earth is covering whole cities.

Hashem is not backing down!

He’s sending a slap to China, and after that He’s sending one to Mexico, and after that He’s sending it to India.

Each time, He does it in a different country, but people aren’t connecting these things together.

They don’t understand that they blemished the covenant [a reference to immoral behavior], so they have a germ this is called ‘Corona’.

And we need to stop blemishing the brit, that’s all.

====

We don’t need serums, we don’t need vaccinations, because still no vaccine helps.

No vaccine has been found.

====

Literally two days before he got arrested, the Rav wrote the prayer ‘to be saved from the Coronavirus’, and asked for it to be translated into 70 languages. Back then, he said this:

====

We have to pray to defeat the mahala (illness) of Corona.

This is a gezera (negative decree) that was decreed upon Am Yisrael, but Hashem will sweeten it.

====

We need to wake up, that it should not come upon Am Yisraelchas v’shalom (God forbid).

We need to – and are obligated to – strengthen ourselves [in the matter] of bein adam l’havero (the relationship between one person and his friend), gematria = 363.

That this comes out in gematria the same as the terrible illness, ‘Corona’ = 363.

And this illness could finish off the whole world, plants, living creatures and human beings.

AND SO, SEE THAT YOU DISTRIBUTE THE PRAYER [AGAINST THE CORONA VIRUS] IN 70 LANGUAGES, AND THAT IT SHOULD REACH EVERY PART OF THE WORLD.

And then, we will be able to sweeten everything.

====

====

To return to our discussion about ‘bad’ emuna and ‘good’ emuna.

‘Bad emuna’ comes in two main flavors.

The first manifests itself in wishful thinking, or not really engaging with reality while still telling ourselves ‘it will work out’. This type of ‘bad emuna’ is defined by the following:

  1. We lie to ourselves about what’s really going on because we’re too scared to really face the truth.
  2. We fail to put God into the picture, in terms of asking Him to ‘sweeten things’ via our prayers.
  3. We don’t make the teshuva required to get the scary situation to sweeten.
  4. We ignore the clues that God is giving us, all the time, from every direction, but especially from our real tzaddikim, about what we specifically need to fix.

If someone expects all this to ‘work out’, magically, from the mindset described above – they are deluding themselves.

====

But there is also a second type of ‘bad emuna’, and that’s where people get so convinced by the awful things happening in the world, they lose hope of it ever turning around and become depressed, despairing and nihilistic.

This type of ‘bad emuna’ is defined by the following:

  1. We lie to ourselves about what’s really going on because we’re too arrogant to admit that God is really controlling absolutely everything that’s happening in the world, and that we need to bitul ourselves to Him.
  2. We fail to put God into the picture, in terms of asking Him to ‘sweeten things’ via our prayers.
  3. We don’t make the teshuva required to get the scary situation to sweeten.
  4. We ignore the clues that God is giving us, all the time, from every direction, but especially from our real tzaddikim, about what we specifically need to fix.

====

Or to put it another way:

Some people have a ‘bad emuna’ that it will all work out OK, and they don’t have to do, fix or change anything.

And other people have a ‘bad emuna’ that nothing is now going to work out OK, and they don’t have to do, fix or change anything.

====

What does ‘good emuna’ look like?

It manifests like this:

  1. We stop lying to ourselves about what’s really going.
  2. We accept that God is really controlling absolutely everything that’s happening in the world.
  3. We start making more of an effort to connect to God, and to really put Him in the picture as the main (and really only….) player.
  4. We start asking Him to ‘sweeten things’ via our prayers – something we can only do, if we really believe He’s listening to us, and that our prayers will affect the outcome.
  5. We start to make the teshuva required to get the scary situation to sweeten.
  6. We pay attention to the clues that God is giving us, all the time, from every direction, but especially from our real tzaddikim, about what we specifically need to fix –

Like this ‘clue’ (with English subtitles), from February 2020:

====

And I’ll add something else into the mix here:

7. We don’t despair of God’s salvation, even when things look really bleak, because we know He can do anything, and it can come in the blink of an eye.

====

That doesn’t mean He’s definitely going to ‘magically’ turn things around, tho.

There are massive tikkunim, massive cheshbonot going on here, spiritually, before Moshiach finally shows up.

None of us really knows what spiritual debts we still have to pay down, not just from this life, but also from previous ones.

‘Good emuna’ means that I do my bit, I make teshuva, I pray, I don’t try to duck reality – but I also don’t sit here thinking I know better than Hashem, or that Hashem is somehow ‘bad’ for letting things happen, God forbid.

====

If we make teshuva, if we pray, then even if we got ‘genetically modified’ with a ‘vaccine’, Hashem can still turn everything around for the best.

If we do the work required to fix things up with all the people we’ve hurt over the years, and get to work on all the bad middot that have caused so much damage in the world, and if we start to really do what our real tzaddikim are telling us, and to get behind them – we will get out of Mitzrayim in one piece, spiritually, regardless of how ‘genetically modified’ we are.

And if we don’t do these things?

There are no guarantees of anything, even if we are totally ‘anti vax’.

====

The point is this:

God has set this whole thing up as one big test, one big process of birur, to peel us away from the world of lies, and to also peel ‘the world of lies’ away from inside ourselves.

If you want to still lie to yourself about what’s going on – both with ‘corona’, and with your own yucky behavior towards your fellow man, your spouse, your kids – you can.

There are consequences attached to doing that, and you’ll have to deal with them.

But, as soon as someone makes the conscious decision to step out of the arrogant ‘world of lies’, and to humbly reattach themselves to God – they are no longer bound by ‘world of lies’ rules.

Tachlis, they’ll start doing weird things like talking to God for an hour a day; and reciting strange segulot that make no logical sense, just because the Tzaddik HaDor told them to, or sitting their kids down and apologising to them for (sometimes…) being a really awful parent.

They’ll start to admit their faults….

They’ll start to try to fix the mess they made all around, without blaming other people all the time or trying to play the victim…. they’ll start giving more charity, paying more pidyonot…. they’ll start to admit that they were wrong. About a whole bunch of things. And it’s OK to acknowledge that.

====

Our minds are so very powerful.

And our souls are infinitely more so.

If we reconnect ‘illness’ – all illness – back to God, and back to this process of having ‘good emuna’, then Covid-19 really will disappear, bezrat Hashem, and the horrible gene-therapy ‘vax’ will be neutralised.

Because it’s all just a message, just a test.

A ‘Covid 19’ test.

And we all have our work cut out for us, to start passing it.

====

UPDATE:

Another reader (and friend…) sent me this other ‘clue’, from a hidden tzaddik, back in the Summer:

Here’s a snippet, back from July 2020:

Pay attention, that this is beginning with one lockdown, and then another lockdown… Until all of us will be in an absolute lockdown. Don’t say that we didn’t tell you.

Today, it’s still possible to stop this.

Pharoah also started [to enslave] Am Yisrael with soft words.

If we do teshuva, but not completely, meaning with full, heart-felt intention, we will need to complete the relative portion with suffering, the very difficult ‘birthpangs of the Moshiach’, rachmana litzan (Hashem should have mercy).

Therefore, everyone should come, like one man, with one heart, let’s pray together, let’s do teshuva from love, and let’s merit to have geula b’rachamim (redemption with mercy), TODAY! If we will only listen to his voice.

But it’s a fact 100%, that the world will not return to ‘routine’ again.

We are in the final process of geula, Am Yisrael, and how it’s going to come – either with din (harsh judgment) or rachamim (mercy) depends on us.”

====

See it yourself, in the original Hebrew, below:

====

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A couple of days ago, I was having a chat with my friend S.

We were talking about her sudden realisation that there is a ‘parallel universe’ going on in the world, that is not at all soft and fluffy, and that is the very antithesis of everything you and I want for the world, and for ourselves, and for our children and grandchildren.

That’s a terrifying thought.

And most people will quickly shut it down and run away from it – unless they are building the capacity to hold ‘truth’ in their minds and souls via regular talking to God sessions.

====

My friend has been doing hitbodedut, on and off, for a while already.

But she said to me:

I don’t get the same sort of ‘messages’ you get from God.

I told her I don’t believe that.

====

EVERYONE is getting messages from God all the time, regardless of whether or not they are actually talking to Him every day.

So then we got into a very interesting discussion about what a ‘message from God’ actually is.

My friend asked me to write about it, because she thinks it will help more people out there to take themselves, and their spiritual connection to God, seriously.

So this post is in her zchut.

====

Very, very rarely, do I get what most people would think of as a ‘message from God’ in my hitbodedut – i.e. some sort of statement or clearly stated answer to a problem I’m grappling with.

It does happen occasionally, but most of the time, God is actually sending the ‘messages’ via a much simpler route, namely:

Our feelings.

====

There has been a war on humanity recognising our true feelings for well over a century.

And probably even longer.

But let’s deal with the most recent bit of this ‘war’ against the part of our soul that goes by the name ruach.

The story starts with the cocaine-using Sigmund Freud.

A lot of the families in Viennese high society were riddled with horrible, unspeakable acts of child abuse and incest.

When Freud started psychoanalysing his patients, a lot of these disturbing memories and stories started to leak out in those sessions.

At some point, Freud realised that if he pursued this line of action – i.e. openly linking people’s mental issues and soul-disfigurement to all the abuse and trauma they’d suffered in childhood – he would be totally shunned in Viennese society and made persona non grata.

So instead, he took the coward’s way out, and sold out abused children for at least the next 60-70 years, by claiming all these ‘memories’ of terrible child abuse and incest by parents were repressed ‘Oedipal’ tendencies.

In other words, he totally and utterly lied.

And he totally and utterly invalidated these children’s traumatic experiences, and memories and even more crucially, their feelings.

====

It’s hard for me to not think that Freud himself must have been morally compromised from the start, to have done that.

But I guess we won’t know until Moshiach comes and shows us exactly what’s been going on.

What is beyond a doubt is that the ‘legacy’ of Freudian psychoanalysis has led to some of the worst crimes against humanity being covered up and repressed for well over a hundred years.

It’s a classic ‘gas lighting’ tactic of narcissistic abusers to keep telling their victims that they can’t trust their own memories, their own experiences, their own minds, their own feelings.

And Western society has been built on a paradigm that encourages parents to ‘socialise’ their children out of feeling what they really feel, and out of trusting themselves on a deep soul level.

====

Modern society shames people – especially women – for feeling.

It calls us names like ‘over-emotional’, and ‘weak’, and even ‘bi-polar’ and ‘clinically-depressed’ – when really, all these feelings we have, some of which can sometimes be overwhelming and debilitating, are just reactions to things we are experiencing in the world.

Clinically depressed people have ALWAYS had some sort of severe emotional neglect and / or abuse in the past, usually from a parent in a childhood, and especially from a mother.

====

Clinical depression is just an extreme form of the FREEZE response to being placed under chronic or acute stress. 

And as such, it’s a perfectly ‘normal’ reaction, albeit not a pleasant or useful one.

No-one’s ‘brain is broken’.

Once people understand that all of their emotional states – even extreme ones – contain messages from God about what they need to deal with, recognise, work on, change or accept, the ’emotional state’ itself gets way, way easier to work with and tame.

====

Same with things like ADD – which is just an extreme FLIGHT response to acute or chronic trauma.

Give me any ‘mental health issue’, and I guarantee it’s rooted in some sort of unpleasant experience, or experiences, or fear, or ‘stress’, that the person’s primitive brain is reacting to.

(If you’re interested, I wrote a whole book on how the stress response reacts in different people, called People Smarts, which you can find on Amazon HERE.)

====

The point being, that God uses our feelings to communicate some very important messages to us.

For example, so many of my ‘messages’ come from a feeling I have that something is not quite right with a certain picture, or person.

In the past, when my ‘BS-O-Meter’ would start to ping off, I would often just try to ignore it or bury it. I’d been socialised by society to keep talking to creeps and yucky people even when they were making me uncomfortable.

That put me into some very vulnerable positions, because the ‘difficult characters’ out there quickly recognise when they are dealing with someone who can’t stand up for themselves when they need to – and that’s when life can get very unpleasant, very quickly.

Now, when it dings off, I pay very careful attention to it.

====

In my hitbodedut, I’ll go back in and I’ll try to figure out why a certain something, a certain someone, is making me feel stressed, unhappy, nervous, angry, on edge – whatever it might be.

I can’t always pin it down – and it’s not always the other person’s problem, either, sometimes they are just triggering something that is entirely my issue to deal with.

But the point is, that God is sending me that ‘feeling’ as part of a message that needs to be decoded and analysed.

Once I learned to start respecting my own feelings, and to give them the ‘space’ they needed for me to really know what it was I was actually feeling, my extreme mood swings pretty much disappeared overnight.

Now, I have no problem standing up for myself against all the creepy, yucky people out there, and as a result, my life is way less complicated and much, much happier than it used to be.

====

But ‘feeling’ messages can also work in a positive way, too.

When I didn’t know anything about the Rav, Rabbi Berland, for example, my starting point was a feeling that something was ‘off’ in all the reporting about him.

I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly, but it just didn’t feel right.

That’s when I started doing my own research to see what was really going on, and that’s when I started to unpick the whole, sordid story of how the Rav had been framed by the same evil people who are now pulling the ‘COVID-19’ con trick on us all, via the media.

====

But even when I had a bunch of information that seemed to show the Rav was totally innocent of any of the charges that had been fabricated against him, I still took a few months to really work through what my soul was telling me about him.

When I thought about the Rav, what was the feeling I got?

Calm and happy, or uneasy and anxious?

Time and time again, when I explored my real feelings in hitbodedut, I got the ‘calm and happy’ vibe back.

That’s what gave me the courage to cautiously approach the Rav more, and to risk being more part of his community.

But even then, anytime I got even a whiff of the BS-O-Meter going off, I stopped to explore it in my hitbodedut, and to work out the messages that God was trying to give me.

Not everyone around a True Tzaddik is a true tzaddik themselves, and yucky people automatically gravitate to positions where they can have a ‘presumption of innocence’ and trust.

====

Thank God, really, for all the persecution of Shuvu Banim and the Rav.

Because it smoked out so very many of the ‘yucky’ people, who quickly peeled off and went somewhere else, where they didn’t have the whole world poking holes in their cover stories and actively seeking out their misdeeds and bad middot.

The people who are left are, for the most part, some of the best people in the world.

They are people who have been constantly humiliated and disgraced – and who have continued to stand up for the Rav, and continued to try to do what’s right, even at great personal cost to themselves.

But I digress.

====

Most people today have been totally cut off from feeling their own feelings, and owning their own emotions.

We are the ‘Prozac’ generation, who were taught that any feeling that is not fake happy is somehow bad and requires medication.

But all feelings – even ‘bad’ feelings – are actually just messages for us to decode, and clues from Hashem that are being sent to lead us forward in life, somehow.

Feelings are part of the soul level called ruach.

====

The soul level associated with the physical body and ‘reptilian brain’ is called the nefesh, or animal soul.

The soul level associated with our mind, higher functioning and connection to God is called the neshama.

And the soul level ‘in between’ these two extremes of ‘animal’ and ‘angel’ is the ruach.

The ruach is the part of the brain that’s actually feeling things.

Then, there’s a fight that goes on between the ‘animal’ brain and the ‘angelic’ brain to frame our feelings correctly.

====

When we do hitbodedut regularly – and we try to adopt a more emuna-dik, God-centric approach to life – that strengthens the ‘angel’ brain, and weakens the ‘animal’ brain’s grip on us.

When the ‘angel brain’ is in the driving seat, and ruling over the ‘animal brain’, our extreme emotional states, mood swings and physiological stress responses start to calm down.

BUT ONLY WHEN WE’RE TAKING THE TIME TO ACKNOWLEDGE ANY REAL ‘DANGER’, AND TO NOT JUST PUSH IT UNDER A MENTAL CARPET.

====

Let’s use some real-life examples.

If there is a situation or a person that makes you feel very tense – that’s usually a big clue from God that there is ‘something’ there that you are finding threatening or unpleasant.

If you feel wrung-out or down or depleted or ‘missing’ after an interaction, that’s usually a big clue that the other person is sucking way more energy out of you, than they are giving in return. All relationships are give and take, but if you are always the one giving – that’s a problem that needs to be addressed.

For me personally, if I start to feel that someone is trying to manipulate me emotionally with guilt trips or ‘save me’ stories (who aren’t my kids…), I will pull back sharply and put up a barrier.

In the past, I used to feel so bad for other people, I could really get taken advantage of.

Now, when I get that ‘uncomfortable’ feeling in the pit of my stomach, I don’t push it down, I listen to it, and I make a conscious decision whether I still want to engage with the other person, or not. 

====

All this stuff is part of the ‘conversation’ I have with God – and of course, with myself.

The last thing I wanted to touch on in this post, is that the concept of da’at, of ‘knowing’, can’t really be translated into words, it has to be experienced.

Sometimes, the da’at you get in hitbodedut, in talking to God, totally transcends even things like ‘feelings’ or ‘thoughts’.

So many times, I find myself knowing something, but without being able to explain how I have that knowledge, or why I know it to be true.

That is also how Hashem gives us messages.

And I think that’s probably the most sublime way, Hashem gives us messages.

====

Any one out there can get ‘messages’ from Hashem, starting today.

All that’s required is a bit of patience, a bit of work to reconnect to feelings that may have been in the deep freeze for decades, and a bit of courage to follow the truth and the da’at and the direction you’ll get from shemayim, wherever it might take you.

As the world of lies continues to implode, we will need that strong connection to Hashem to keep going through the darkness, and to discern the real light at the end of the tunnel, when it shows up.

Start small, just five minutes a day.

Or even one minute.

Something.

But also remember that God is talking to us via everyone and everything 24/7, and that we are constantly surrounded by opportunities to get to know Him – and ourselves – better.

Don’t be scared to feel, even if those feelings start off overwhelming and ‘angry’.

They are a part of your ruach – mamash, a part of your soul.

And when you make space for them, and really listen to the messages they contain, you’ll see how fast your life starts to transform for the better, and how quickly your feelings become your best friends.

====

If you want me to try to explain more about anything here, or about other aspects of talking to God, let me know in the comments.

====

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Long-term readers of this blog will know I’ve been a Trump sceptic right from the start.

It just always seemed so odd to me, how so many people believed that a bankrupt billionaire with very bad middot could literally morph into some sort of ‘moshiach’ just by taking office.

But of course, there were so many rabbis (ahem) explaining how Trump was a non-Jewish ‘Moshiach ben Yosef’; and there were so many dumb bloggers repeating that message – and even getting into fights with anyone who dared to question the idea – that I mostly stayed away from the subject of Trump.

Until 2019, which is when I started publically questioning the whole idea of America being some good, benevolent country, that only does goodness and righteousness in the world.

Whatever.

====

There was an interesting discussion over on Daisy’s blog, HERE, that got me thinking about the whole idea of ‘controlled opposition’, and how Trump, and other people we know, fit into that.

As we’ve stated here a few times, the swamp is controlling both sides of the debate, the argument, the political process, ‘the great divide’.

Whatever the subject is, you can be sure that the swamp has representatives on both sides of the fence, especially with the political system, but also when it comes to every great ‘debate’ or controversy.

How do we know who those ‘representatives’ are?

Simple:

They never really get shut down.

====

And for those who want to tell me that Trump was ‘shut down’ on Twitter the last two weeks, the answer is: so what?

It’s a ‘deep cover’ tactic.

If they hadn’t shut Trump down for 2 weeks right at the end of his Presidency, then more and more people would have realised that nothing was going to change, anyway.

The swamp are masters of manipulation and human psychology.

They had half the free world ‘hanging out’ for Moshiach Trump to finally reveal himself, and perform the miracle to ‘clean up the swamp’.

And in the meantime….. those people weren’t doing anything else spiritually constructive, and they were totally living in a fantasy world that ‘Trump will fix it’.

And of course, Trump himself had no intention of ever ‘cleaning up the swamp’ because if he had, don’t you think he’d have made a tiny bit more progress, over the last 4 years?

====

What can we learn from all this?

#1 – taken from a recent prayer put out by Rabbi Eliezer Berland, is that POLITICS = AMALEK.

That applies to all politicians, everywhere.

It’s just one big circus, one big distraction, fooling the whole population into thinking that their vote, their decision, their ‘candidate’ is going to represent their interests, and enact the changes they want to see in their society and world.

Even if an individual politician isn’t totally corrupted (big if…) personally, they are still serving a system that is so corrupt, that no-one who isn’t corrupt will ever be allowed to obtain real power.

And that is true, wherever you happen to live in the world.

====

#2 – So many of those rabbis and ‘commentators’ are still misleading people, publically.

If these people had an ounce of humility, they would put their hands up, apologise, and make some serious teshuva for siphoning-off 4 years of Jewish yearning for geula, and Jewish prayers for Moshiach over to ‘Moshiach Trump’.

(And let’s not even talk about all the prayers, mitzvahs and Jewish yearning that’s been ‘siphoned off’ towards other false moshiachs, over the past few decades….)

And I’m willing to bet good money that once they get over this latest ‘disappointment’ and failed prediction, they will be back with another round of pointless distraction and fake Torah.

They aren’t going to retire any time soon, but you for sure can switch them off, and stop listening to all their distracting drivel.

====

#3 – The only way to get to the truth is to pray on it yourself, and stop looking for shortcuts.

How do you know I’m bona fide, and not ‘controlled opposition’?

You don’t.

At least, you don’t unless you are doing some soul-searching, and you are double-checking if the stuff I’m writing sits well with your soul, or not.

Is the stuff on this blog bringing you closer to Hashem, or pushing you further away?

When I bring advice and segulot from Rabbenu, or from Rav Berland, are those things helping you, calming you, reassuring you – or not?

These are big questions, they are important questions – and nobody can answer them, really, except you.

====

Stop looking for shortcuts and ‘rabbis’ and commentators to make important decisions for you.

It’s your life, in your hands, and YOU are the only one, really, who can know which path is best for you, and which path Hashem is taking you down.

And sometimes, those answers may be contrary to what you want to believe, or what you think sounds ‘right’.

====

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve gone against the tide, because I was prompted to in my hitbodedut.

Like, when I started unpicking all the ‘narcissists’ and narcissism in my own life, and started questioning whether it really was OK for parents to manipulate their children with disapproval, criticism and guilt trips.

Like, when I started pondering what on earth was going on with the bizarre coverage of what was happening with Rabbi Berland, way before I’d come close to him in any way, shape or form.

Like, more recently, researching all this stuff with Yonatan Eybshutz, the rasha, and Jacob Frank, and all the secret sabbateans still in our midst.

====

All of these things – and many more – usually led me to some very uncomfortable realisations, and some very hard choices.

That’s what it really means, to ‘leave the world of lies’.

It’s painful. It’s challenging. It means you have to change things – often really big things – and to make a lot of teshuva, and to accept that a lot has happened that was wrong and bad.

And that I myself have done so many things that are objectively wrong and bad.

====

The problem is not reaching that conclusion.

The real problem is when people trip over their own human frailties, and human failings, and middot malfunctions – and then try very hard to continue covering them up.

Which is why, paradoxically, ‘Moshiach Trump’ has the potential to still be useful, spiritually.

Trump acolytes – you now have a chance to make some real, sincere teshuva.

====

Instead of fuming about ‘evil Democrats’; instead of complaining that you were ‘misled by others’; instead of pretending that really, you knew it all along – come clean.

At least to Hashem, come clean.

Put you hand up, and admit that you believed Trump was ‘the answer’ because you never really took the time to check him out in your own personal conversation with God.

You never took the time to question the assumptions ‘Moshiach Trump’ was based on.

You didn’t spend even a second to ask yourself what your own biases were, and how they could be coloring your take on ‘Moshiach Trump’.

And as it is with ‘Moshiach Trump’, so it is with a whole bunch of other things in our lives, too.

====

Trump, and all the ‘rabbis’ (ahem…) and commentators supporting him led so many people away from real answers.

You want a real answer to the massive – and growing – problems in the world?

There is only one way you are going to get it.

Start talking to God, and start figuring out which of your own plentiful bad middot are continuing to prop up that yucky ‘world of lies’, that is doing so much damage to all of us.

And then, start asking God to show you who is really ‘true’ and ‘trustworthy’ in the world – and who isn’t.

And be prepared to be totally shocked by the answers.

====

When my husband and I started doing that in earnest, around 6 years ago, it blew our three main ‘rabbinic advisors’ out of the water, one after the another, over a period of just a few weeks.

To say it was traumatic is a massive understatement.

But that process (eventually…) led us to the Rav.

And since then, life has continued to just get better and easier.

====

But don’t take my word for it!!!!

Do the experiment yourself, there is simply no other way.

If you are honestly asking God to show you the truth, He will.

About Trump.

About Covid.

About all these ‘rabbis’.

About Moshiach.

About what you and me really need to work on, and really need to fix.

And that’s when geula will really start in earnest – at least for you – whatever else is going on in the world.

====

PS: I had a thought about evil Biden, too.

Remember that Haman was ‘elevated’ by being invited to Queen Esther’s feast just before he fell.

We are much closer to things turning around than it may look.

Don’t buy into all the fear porn!

They are cranking things up because they have a very short window left to ‘vaccinate’ as many people as they can. Hang on just a couple more weeks, and let’s see what’s going on then.

Haman toppled within 24 hours of being ‘elevated’ – and God’s salvation comes in the blink of an eye.

====

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In today’s bit of the ‘onion’, we’ll be taking a look at the strange story of the the Tzemach Tzedek’s paternity.

If you’ve been following this sage along with me here on the blog, (all links to previous posts at the end of this one) – you’ll already know that most of ‘official’ Jewish history from the last 400 years has been built on lies.

There are so many lies being told about so many different things, that it’s been totally overwhelming to try and unpick it all in any easy-to-understand way. But BH, I feel that a (small…) light is starting to shine at the end of that very long tunnel.

My modus operandi is to just keep putting out the bits of ‘truth’ I’m managing to piece together, without really having the bigger picture still, in the hopes that even this is helping to move things forward in some way, and to get us to the ‘world of truth’ required for geula.

So in today’s installment, let’s take a closer look at the story of the Tzemach Tzedek, Chabad’s Rebbe #3.

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Let’s start with what Chabad themselves tell us, about who the Tzemech Tzedek’s parents are:

Rabbi Menachem Mendel—who was to become known as the as the ‘Tzemach Tzedek’, the title of his most famous work—was born in the city of Liozna on Erev Rosh Hashanah 5549, to his parents Rabbi Shalom and Rebbetzin Devorah Leah Shachna. Rabbi Shalom was the son of Rabbi Noach Altshuler, a respected disciple of Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Vitebsk, Devorah Leah was the daughter of Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, the first rebbe of Chabad.

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The Chabad timeline linked to above gives you the whole ‘story’, including how Menachem Mendel’s mother died young, and so he was raised in the home of the Alter Rebbe.

The Alter Rebbe then makes the shidduch between the Tzemech Tzedek, and the Mitteler Rebbe’s daughter Chaya Mushka. The Mitteler Rebbe is the Alter Rebbe’s son, R’ DovBer Schneurson, who wins the ‘succession war’ for who will lead Chabad against the Alter Rebbe’s youngest son, Moshe.

(In one version of this story, Moshe converts to catholicism as a result of not being crowned Rebbe #2).

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Many things puzzled me about this ‘story’.

Firstly, what happened to the Tzemach Tzedech’s father, Shalom Shachne Altshuler, that he went to live with his grandfather, the Alter Rebbe?

Second, why did the leadership pass on to Menachem Mendel, when R’ DovBer had plenty of his own sons (all also ‘outstandingly pious individuals’, according to Chabad lore)?

(I started to vaguely answer that second question, in THIS post.)

So, I girded my loins and have spent literally hours, days and weeks trying to piece together the real story.

And here’s where I got to.

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Let’s begin with the Maggid of Mezritch, R’ Dov Ber ben Avraham, which you can read about broadly HERE.

Dov Ber’s father was Avraham of Lukatch, but as I’m finding SO VERY OFTEN with so many of our illustrious Jewish families, there are very few other details of any family members, certainly no siblings, and it hardly ever goes back further than their parents, also with no details of any other family members.

Doesn’t this strike you as strange?

Especially as so many of our leaders were connected to each other, married into each others’ families, and were leaders of the Jewish community (and therefore extent even in gentile documents, who were strictly keeping track of the Jews in their localities, for tax purposes)?

My best guess (based on this link) is that Rav Dov Ber was related to the Horowitz family, descended from the SHLAH, who later moved to Tiberius, where he’s buried next to the Rambam.

Let’s continue.

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The Maggid of Mezritch has a sister, Ruhama.

Here’s where things are about to get mighty strange again.

Ruhama’s first husband is apparently ‘R’ Noach Altshuler’.

Noach Altshuler and Ruhama have a son, Shalom Shachne Altshuler, who is meant to marry Devorah Leah Schneuri (who Chabad say is one of the daughters of the Alter Rebbe).

Together, they have a son – the Tzemech Tzedek, Chabad Rebbe #3.

No where does Chabad official literature tell us that the ‘Tzemech Tzedek’ is the great nephew of the Maggid of Mezritch.

Why not?

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Let’s continue.

Ruhama has a second husband (I don’t know if he comes before or after Noach Altshuler), who is none other than Rabbi Abraham Kalisker.

In case you don’t know who that is, here’s a potted (official…) history.

R Abraham Kalisker and R’ Menachem Mendel of Vitebsk move to Israel in 1777 as part of the ‘chassidic aliya’. Shneur Zalman (the Alter Rebbe) also has plans to move to Israel with this group, but Menachem Mendel tells him to cancel them, and stay back in Belarussia, instead.

R’ Abraham Kalisker was formerly a study partner of the Vilna Gaon, before becoming a ‘chassid’.

When Menachem Mendel of Vitebsk passes away in 1788, R’ Avraham Kalisker takes over as leader of the chassidim in Eretz Yisrael, and also takes over the administration of ‘The Holy Land Fund‘, the major way that the Ashkenazi community in Israel is funded by the Jewish diaspora.

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Try to search for any information The Holy Land Fund, and you’ll quickly hit a brick wall.

It’s another one of the things on my ‘hot mess-o-meter’ to come back to, but from 1788 on, ‘The Holy Land Fund’ seems to have been taken over by the Alter Rebbe, and morphs into ‘Colel Chabad’.

Colel Chabad is still operating today, with a big budget. According to Wikipedia:

“Colel Chabad was the main charity supported by Sholom Rubashkin, who donated millions of dollars from profits earned by his now-bankrupt company, Agriprocessors.”

Like I said, we’ll come back to this topic another time.

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For now, it’s enough to know that following the Alter Rebbe’s publication of the Tanya, in 1797, he has a serious falling out with R’ Abraham Kalishker.

The essence of the dispute is that R’ Kalishker feels that the true path of chassidut should be based on emunat tzaddikim, and on simple emuna in Hashem, and NOT on revealing ‘secrets of the Torah’. R’ Avraham feels the Tanya is revealing too much of these kabbalistic secrets to the masses, and taking the focus off simple emuna.

R’ Asher of Karlin (more on him in a moment) sides with the Kalishker Rebbe; R’ Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev sides with the the Alter Rebbe, and R’ Nachman tries to make peace between the two sides, when he visits Eretz Yisrael in 1798-9.

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The first person Rabbenu goes to see when he returns from Israel is the Alter Rebbe. But it’s also interesting to note that in multiple places in his works, Rabbenu stresses that the teachings of the Alter Rebbe are wrong:

“On his way to the Holy Land the Rebbe travelled through Nikolayev and Kherson to get to Odessa. He spent Shavuot in Kherson and there he gave a number of outstanding lessons, including one on the verse, “He calmed the storm,” (Psalms 107:29).

There were a number of followers of R. Shneur Zalman of Liadi in town. They brought some of his teachings for the Rebbe to see. The Rebbe took issue with R. Zalman’s teachings and showed his followers that what he said was not correct.”

– Taken from Tzaddik, #29, page 47.

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The argument between R’ Kalishker (who Rabbenu praises very highly) and the Alter Rebbe gets really nasty.

Around 15 of the families affiliated with Shneur Zalman leave Tiberius, and move down to Hevron to start the community there, as a result of this dispute (led by R’Israel Jaffe.)

It’s hard to know what else occurred as a result, (and because the true identity of R’ Avraham Kalishker has been deliberately obscured, tracking that information down is going to be tricky) – but I can still tell you this:

R’ Avraham Kalishker, the Alter Rebbe’s ‘big enemy’, is also at least the stepfather of the Alter Rebbe’s son-in-law, Shalom Shachne Altshuler, father of the Tzemech Tzedek (Chabad Rebbe #3).

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But that’s not where this mystery about Shalom Shachne Altshuler ends.

When R’ Dov Ber of Mezritch ‘takes over’ as the leader of chassidut, following the Baal Shem Tov’s passing in 1760, there is a rift between his followers.

It wasn’t an entirely smooth transition, and the followers of the BESHT who fall in behind the Maggid of Mezritch come to be known as the Chevra Kaddisha (holy society), and it included the following:

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There are two R’ Aharons of Karlin.

This first one died just a year before the Maggid of Mezritch dies, in 1772. He’s married to someone called Bracha, and has three children:

  • R’ Asher of Karlin (aka R’ Asher of Stolin)
  • Mosher Ber Perlow
  • Rivkah – who also marries Rabbi Shalom Shachne Altshuler, the father of the Tzemech Tzedek (Chabad Rebbe #3).

So basically, the Tzemech Tzedek’s step grandfather is R’ Avraham Kalisker, and his other step-grandfather is R’ Asher of Karlin-Stolin – who both fell out with the Baal HaTanya in a big way, over his teachings.

Where ‘Devorah Leah’, the Alter Rebbe’s apparent daughter, fits into all this, I can’t tell you.

The ‘official page’ for her on Chabadpedia now shows this:

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Chabad lore states that she was born in 1766, and married Shalom Shachne Altshuler in 1787.

21 is mighty old to be getting married at a time when most people were married around 13 years old.

For example, her son, the Tzemech Tzedek is apparently betrothed at 8 (!), married at 13, and a father by 14.

Menachem Mendel is born in 1789, then Devorah Leah dies in 1802.

Where her husband, Shalom Shachne Altshuler, is meant to be in all this, I don’t know. And when he is meant to have married to Rivka, daughter of R’ Asher of Karlin-Stolin, I also don’t know.

But here’s why all this matters.

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Everywhere I turn with researching this stuff, I’m hitting dead ends, deliberate misinformation and even outright lies and cover ups.

At this stage in history, I feel we need to know the truth of our past, however yucky that might be.

The time for telling tall stories about our ancestors – that whitewash their human frailties and issues – is over.

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As you can probably guess, the information I’m sharing here on the blog is just a fraction of the stuff I’m wading through.

What is coming clear into view, at least at the ‘big picture’ level, is that the vast majority of our gadolim and tzaddikim, on all sides, were closely related to zealous ‘believers’ in Shabtai Tzvi, false prophets of Shabtai Tzvi, and also open and ‘closet’ Frankists.

To put this another way:

There is no such thing as ‘good yichus’.

The biggest tzaddikim and the biggest evildoers sprung from the same source, the same gene pool.

That’s probably one of the reasons why Rebbe Nachman would get so annoyed, when people would claim he only achieved his spiritual levels thanks to his holy ancestors.

He for sure knew the secret that the biggest fruit, spiritually, always comes wrapped up in the biggest ‘peel’, or klipa of evil.

And the only way we break this ‘peel’ is by working to overcome our own bad middot.

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Going forward, we need to be honest about all this.

Because the people with the bad middot (but ‘good’ yichus….) are still running the show in the Jewish world.

Did you know Netanyahu and Reuben Rivlin are descended from the Vilna Gaon?

Did you know that nearly all the chassidic dynasties come from just 3 families?

(And are also related to the Vilna Gaon.)

Did you know that descendants of Shabtai Tzvi, and Nathan of Gaza, and Jacob Frank – and many, many more nasty people, maskilim, reformers and ‘fake’ moshiach-wannabes – are literally intertwined at every level of the family trees of our current Jewish leaders?

And not just in the secular world, also in the frummest-of-frum communities.

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To give some concrete examples:

The main people in the chareidi world who have been persecuting Rabbi Eliezer Berland trace back to this same, problematic, group of people.

And some of today’s biggest rabbis in Bnei Brak had ancestors who were secret Sabbateans, and led the charge towards ‘modernising’ their Jewish communities and destroying the Torah way of life.

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I don’t think God wants me shaking out every single skeleton in the cupboards of all our ‘leaders’.

I certainly don’t want to be spending the rest of my life doing this.

But it’s clear to me, that as a community we have to come clean, and we have to stop telling made-up stories about just how ‘good and holy’ our ancestors were.

They also struggled with depression, anger, hatred, jealousy and lack of faith, just like we sometimes do.

They also mistreated their kids, and spoke abusively to their spouses, and cheated on their taxes, and stole things they shouldn’t have, and pretended to be something they really weren’t, just to keep the respect of their friends and neighbors.

And those are just the good ones.

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The world of truth is coming, and it can’t be stopped.

Someone just called me and told that people are only prepared to believe the truth now, because so many of us have got so sick of all the lies being told.

We don’t want to hear anymore made up stuff about our ancestors; we don’t want ‘gate keepers’ in our community distorting history and manipulating us with information just so they can keep controlling and misleading us.

And most of all, we don’t want arch hypocrites with bad middot and big beards running our schools, and controlling our communities, and damaging the souls of our holy children with all their fake Torah and emphasis on external piety.

(At least, I don’t.)

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So, it’s time to come clean, and to make some real teshuva.

Each of us in our own dalet amot can begin that process, and then it will widen up and out to our friends, families, communities and institutions.

When we stop accepting lies in our own lives, we’ll stop tolerating them and enabling them to be told in the wider world.

That change starts with me and you.

Are you ready?

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It’s an interesting question isn’t it?

When you ask xtians – and the other groups that espouse a similar theology, like Frankists and Sabbateans – they will tell you that ‘the messiah’ will show up, and then all evil will just kind of vanish in a puff of smoke.

Yes, that’s right folks!

As soon as ‘the messiah’ shows up, all our own bad middot, all the drug cartels, all the abusive parents, all the evil billionaire oligarchs, all the fake rabbis, all the nasty terrorist gangs, the CIA, the satanists – every last Dr Evil in the world – they will all just vanish!!!

It would be great if this were true.

But it’s not.

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One of the biggest con tricks that the yetzer hara has managed to pull on all of us is persuading us that ‘evil’ is always and only someone else’s problem.

My country is good. My army is good. My government is good. My economic theory is good. Whatever is good for me (regardless of its cost to others…) is good.

I started fleshing this theme out in the last post when I was talking about the ‘Laban Parenting Paradigm’, that basically states:

Everything belongs to MEEEE, so I can do whatever the heck I want in order to protect my own interests!!!!

But as we learnt in that last post, this is the polar opposite of a truly authentic Jewish approach to parenting – and also the opposite of a truly Jewish approach to life.

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Judaism teaches us that every Jew is responsible for each other.

It also teaches us that the Jewish people have a very big job to do, to rectify the world.

Christians, reform people and crypo-Frankists also like to talk about tikkun olam, so things can quickly get confusing. Let’s try to sort out the difference between an authentic Jewish approach to tikkun olamand the other guys’ approach.

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In a nutshell, Judaism teaches that we fix the world, by fixing ourselves.

It’s our prayers, our mesirut nefesh, our working to uproot our own arrogance, anger, pride and jealousy and hatred (to name but a few….) that then radiates outwards, and starts to fix the world around us.

In this paradigm, every single person in the whole world, and certainly every single Jew, has an enormous part to play in the process of rectifying the world in order to bring moshiach.

I used to be very puzzled, when I would hear Rav Berland teach that people like me were the ones holding up the geula, and that the secular people weren’t really to blame.

It took quite a bit of time before I heard other shiurim that filled in the gaps, where the Rav explained that if we supposedly ‘religious’ people would take some time to sincerely pray for our fellow Jews, they would make teshuva in an instant.

Why are there still ‘secular’ people in the world, who are far away from Torah and mitzvot? 

Because we apparently ‘religious’ people don’t care about them enough to pray for them to make teshuva.

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That’s why the Rav puts such emphasis on people getting up to say Tikkun Hatzot.

It’s these prayers, in particular, that create a ruach in the world that bring people back to God.

And when people sincerely come back to God, they in turn start praying, and start really connecting their souls up to their spiritual Source, and – most importantly of all – start really acknowledging their ‘inner bad’, and asking God to help them overcome it.

This is how Jews fix the world, and bring geula and Moshiach.

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Sadly, we don’t see a heck of a lot of that going on, not even in the ‘frummest’ areas of the Jewish world, where people are more obsessed with the length of their Torah learning, and their yichus, and their fantastic ‘predictions’ about geula, and the thickness of their tights, than they are with really working on their bad middot.

For years, this puzzled me greatly.

How can it be, that so much of the Jewish world – even the apparently ‘orthodox’ Jewish world – has adopted this xtian paradigm of pretending to be ‘perfect’ on the outside, while committing all manner of misdemeanors behind closed doors?

How can it be, that so much of the Jewish world is effectively teaching that Jews have nothing left to do except ‘polish buttons’, and that Moshiach is just going to show up and fix everything for them?!

This is a xtian idea. It’s a Sabbatean idea. It’s a Frankist idea.

It’s definitely NOT an authentically Jewish idea.

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When people are caught up in this un-Jewish paradigm of tikkun olam, it comes along with a tendency to believe that the problem is everyone else.

When everyone else believes in Yoshki / Shabtai Tzvi / Jacob Frank / [Fill in the blank] – then that dead guy will rise from the grave, and come save the world!!

And all we have to do is believe in him and polish some buttons.

That dead guy will come back, and then poof!!! All the evil will disappear in the world, just like that.

I’m going to stop yelling at my husband just like that…

I’m going to stop being so stingy with my tzedaka just like that…

Don’t you know, that all my miniskirts are going to magically expand into black maxis, my nasty jealous streak is going to evaporate immediately, and all the horrible things I’ve been saying about my friends and neighbors are all just going to vanish, just like that once Moshiach shows up?!

No?

You don’t believe me?

Good for you.

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Breslov teachings, as amplified and clarified by Rabbi Berland, Rav Shalom Arush, and Rav Ofer Erez – amongst many others – make it very clear that the whole work we got sent back down here to do is to work on our emuna, and fix our bad middot.

These two things go hand-in-hand, because if we don’t really believe in Hashem, we will continue to choose the path of being a pious hypocrite, o so makpid in public, for our neighbors’ consumption, and o so yucky in our every day dealings with friends and family members.

It’s only once we realise that we will have to answer for every single person we hurt, every single ‘stain’ we left to grow and metastize on our souls, that we find the koach we need to start doing the work of acknowledging and digging up our bad middot.

If we don’t believe in God, we just will never really bother even trying.

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But it’s only when we start doing the work of trying to dig up our bad middot that our emuna really grows.

Because then, we’ll see that without God’s help, we can’t do anything.

I have spent years and years working to overcome my nasty temper, particularly in relation to my kids, and I can tell you from first hand experience, that the only reason I’m doing so much better today is because I begged God to help me overcome my anger for 10 years +.

And every now and then, perhaps when a smidgeon of arrogance works it’s way back in and I start thinking that I’ve really done something good here, hey?!? – He’ll take the rug out from under my feet and send me a nasty temper fit.

That’s just to remind me that without God’s help, I can’t do anything.

And that’s really good news.

Because the corollary of this is that with God’s help, I can do anything!!!

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I CAN overcome my temper.

And my inability to get out of bed.

And my nasty tendency to complain and whinge and to feel sorry for myself.

And my arrogant streak that likes to tell me that I’m really perfect, and that the problems in the world are really just everyone else’s, and that all I have to do to bring moshiach is just polish some buttons….

(…and aggressively push my ‘religion’ down other people’s throats, so they’ll be sure to recognize my guy as the real messiah, when he finally rises up from the dead…)

With God’s help, I can do all these things and more.

And so can you.

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So, to recap:

Xtians, Sabbateans and Frankists (of all stripes) believe that when ‘their guy’ shows up as the true messiah, the world will automatically get ‘fixed’, and all anyone has to do to get on the ark to salvation is just to believe in their guy, and their religion, and their path.

There is zero talk about working on our own bad middot.

There is zero genuine emphasis on talking to God every single day, and asking for His help.

And there is zero real interest in moving out of the comfort zone, and making the sorts of difficult changes really required to bring the spirit of Moshiach into our own dalet amot.

It’s all flowery ‘bible lessons’, and pointless exegetics, and nice (and often totally untrue…) ‘stories’ and parables about saintly individuals, given over by people who like to pretend that they also belong in that category of ‘saintly’.

Ah yes, plus ‘watch out for the dead guy to rise again and save us’ messaging.

How could I forget that bit?

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By contrast, Jews who are following a path of authentic Judaism believe that the world is only going to get fixed when me, myself and I stop lying to myself about my own bad middot, and about just how much destruction and damage I’m doing every single day – especially to my family members.

Did you spot the difference?

Did you understand that the only way evil is going to ‘vanish from the world’ is when I knuckle down, and start doing the job of digging my own evil out of my own soul, and start praying for others to do the same.

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I love a shortcut as much as the next guy, I really do.

But it pains me a lot to keep reading all this flowery cr*p-dressed-up-as-yiddishkeit about what it’s really going to take to get to geula the sweet way.

That’ll happen when enough of us start to take responsibility for our own actions and negative impact, and stop turning a blind eye to – or even condoning and excusing and perpetrating – evil.

And it can’t happen any other way.

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Over Shabbos, I was reading the parsha.

(Occasionally that still happens 😉

We were in Vayetzei, where Yaakov runs away from his psycho brother, to try and find a wife in the home of his equally ‘difficult’ Uncle Lavan.

As I was reading, I was struck by the parenting paradigm that seems to characterize our holy forefathers of Abraham, Yitzhak and Yaakov – and that of Laban.

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To put it at its most blunt, whereas the Patriarchs and Matriarchs adopted a parenting paradigm that could be summed up as ‘put your kid first, ahead of your own interests’, Laban’s paradigm was the polar opposite.

Laban used his kids to further his own ends.

He ‘sold’ his daughter to Yaakov – as they themselves complain, in the parsha, not even giving them a dowry and instead expecting Yaakov to ‘pay’ for them with 14 years of hard work.

Then, when Yaakov wants to flee, Leah and Rachel tell him Go!!! There is nothing here for us, our father certainly won’t let us inherit anything together with his sons!!! And he didn’t even bother giving us a dowry when we got married, and all his calculations just boil down to what’s best for him.

Or in other words: Lavan didn’t really care a fig about his children, and on some level, they knew that.

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What does all this have to do with us, today?

The Torah is timeless, eternal, don’t you know? Don’t you know, that even today there are parents who will persistently put what is best for them, what suits them, what is most comfortable for them ahead of what is best for their kids.

Sometimes, this is blatant.

Sometimes, it’s clear that the parent is pushing a career, a course of action, a school, a decision, on their kids 100% because it suits them.

Even if it’s the worst thing in the world for their kid.

Other times, it’s way more subtle.

We parents tell ourselves we’re doing everything only for our kids, when we boss them around, use them as a passive ‘audience’ to talk at, push our own ideas and notions down their throats and then react angrily if they dare to disagree.

But if we were a little more honest, a little more humble, a little more willing to explore what’s really going on, inside ourselves, maybe, just maybe, we’d realize that sometimes, we’re actually acting in a very selfish way, when it comes to our children.

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I’d love to tell you that this ‘Laban style’ of me-first parenting is very uncommon, especially in the orthodox Jewish world.

But if I did, I’d be lying.

In the orthodox and not-so-orthodox Jewish world, I’ve seen a long line of parents abusing their children while hiding behind the cloak of kibud av’ v’em.

They rely on a warped understanding of the commandment to respect the parent, which they interpret to mean that the parent can do anything they want to the kid, and hurt them and let them down in any way they wish, and the kid just has to take it and carry on doing what the parent wants.

====

Listen, I’m also a parent.

I’m also a flawed human being. I know how easy it is to use kibud av ve’em as a manipulative tool to avoid having to look ourselves in the eye and deal with our own bad middot, and having to make compromises, and having to put up with situations that we’d rather not deal with.

But if I’ve learnt one thing over the last few years, it’s just how much a parent’s mesirut nefesh can heal the soul of their child.

That means the parent is going to give the kid money, time and support – not expect it from their child.

That means that the parent is going to do their best to compromise and back down – not automatically expect that their word should be law.

And it means that as much as we can, we sacrifice what we want, what’s comfortable for us, what’s easiest and nicest for us to choose the path that is genuinely best for our kids.

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Your kid doesn’t want to marry someone from a background you feel comfortable with?

Your kid doesn’t want to join your family business and effectively ‘work for free’ to support you in your old age?

They don’t want to be so frum?

Or maybe, they DO want to be more frum?

There is no way they are going to university…. OR they dafka are going to university?

They do want to vaccinate your grandkids, they don’t want to vaccinate your grandkids….?

All these things – and more, way more – can cut through a parent’s heart like a knife through hot butter.

If we let them. If we adopt Laban’s parenting paradigm.

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What does Laban say to Yaakov?

“The daughters are mine and the sons are mine, everything you see before you is mine.”

When we treat our children as though they are our possessions, to do anything we want with, that’s parenting like Laban.

And if we continue parenting like Lavan, then at some point, for their own mental health, our children will have to leave us stealthily in the night, and run away somewhere far, far away.

For their own mental sanity.

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So, may God help us to put our kids first; to choose what’s right for them over what’s best or easiest for us, and to heal all the broken-hearted children out there (of all ages), who are still so hungry for the real love of their parents.

Amen.

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Yesterday, I went to pray at Honi haMeagal’s grave, near Tsfat.

Ever since the first lockdown, back in February 2020, my husband and I have been careful now to ‘go somewhere’ on a Sunday.

This week, we headed off to the grave of Honi haMeagal (Honi of the circle), on the side of Hatzor HaGalil, on the edge of the beautiful Biriya forest.

(We were actually trying to get to the graves of Abbaye and Rava, but couldn’t find them. That’s another story.)

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Honi HaMeagal is the famous tanna of the 1st century who drew a circle on the ground and told God that he wasn’t going to step outside of it until God ended the drought in Israel and brought the rains.

There are different reactions to Honi’s actions in the Gemara, but his ‘brazenness’ with Hashem was jointly admired and censured by his fellow Sages. Rabbi Shimon ben Shetach, for example, initially wanted to place Honi in cherem, but seems to have changed his mind.

Read more HERE.

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So anyway, we’re there at a tomb, and there’s a large group of chareidi people there, eating and praying.

My husband went into the catacombed cave / tomb on the mens’ side, and I decided to go and pray on the hill just above the tomb, which had an awesome view over the Galilee towards Tiberius.

It was twilight, and it was so beautiful.

And I have to admit to feeling a little down.

Downstairs, I heard one of the men telling someone else:

“There is no work now. Work is gomarnu, finished, because of the Corona. All we can do is pray, and hope God will have mercy.”

It reminded me that so many people out there are secretly running out of the money they need to live. But we still haven’t had the obvious ‘breakthrough’ required to turn things around.

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So I sat there pouring my heart out to God, and feeling a little bit despairing about everything.

God, how is this ever going to get fixed? How is this ever going to turnaround? The forces of evil in the world seem to be holding all the cards. They have all the money, the press, the power, the political and business and ‘rabbinic’ connections.

How can we ever hope to overcome them?

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Just then, some ‘cuddly-bear’ Sephardi chassid plugs a mike in below, and starts talking about the importance of reciting the Tikkun Haklali:

The Tikkun Haklali can fix everything, it can rectify everything! He boomed out.

Rebbe Nachman taught that the Tikkun Haklali was even created before the world.

Everything can be fixed, everything can be rectified! We just need to say the Tikkun Haklali every single day!!

I sat there electrified.

The chassid then started loudly reciting the Tikkun Haklali, and I went for a walk down the hill, towards the tomb of Rabbi Abba Hilkiya, Choni HaMeagal’s grandson, who famously tried to tikken the evil eye of David’s rebellious son, Absalom.

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Honestly?

I’ve been finding it pretty hard to pray the last few months.

Over the last 5-6 years, I’d gotten into the habit of saying the Tikkun Haklali at least once a day, and often, three times a day. The last few months, I’ve barely said it.

I’ve run out of energy.

Maybe, some days, I’ve a little bit run out of hope that anything I can say or do will change anything….

But that chassid gave me motivation to pick things up, and to try and stick to saying the Tikkun Haklali at least once a day. Bezrat Hashem.

I started my way back up the hill, towards the chassid and Honi HaMeagal, who was now praying ma’ariv with such force, and such gusto, his voice was carrying all over the hills.

And when he said Shema, his voice broke and I saw him wipe away some tears.

Again, I was totally electrified.

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Before he put down his mike, tho, he gave over a few more words of wisdom:

They want to break us. They want to divide the Jewish people up, and to have us hating each other – sinat chinam – for nothing. The answer to this is ahavat chinam – to love each other. 

We’re here at the kever of Honi HaMeagal, who knew that the secret of bringing shefa (abundance) down into the world was achdut. That each of us should stand in an unbroken circle, together, with our brothers.

And that from this achdut, all the shefa comes, and all the corona and all the balagan it’s bringing into the world will be broken, and our righteous Moshiach will soon be revealed and will redeem us.

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I had chills down my back.

This guy was riffing off exactly the same theme that I’d written about here on the blog yesterday, that we Jews are all one family.

And that all the false divisions between us are wedges placed there by the forces of evil, to divide and conquer.

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In the car back home, my husband told me that the chassid was one of Rabbi Berland’s guys.

How did you know? 

Because he was davening with some of the niggunim of the Rav, he replied.

Honestly?

I wasn’t surprised.

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The Rav was meant to have a hearing last week, where the corrupt State of Israel was meant to have had their last chance to bring evidence that the Rav’s health is robust enough to keep him in prison, instead of releasing him to at least house arrest, until they bring their corrupt case to trial.

Instead, the State of Israel cancelled the hearing.

The reason they gave for cancelling was the Rav’s own deteriorating state of health.

Who can make this stuff up?

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Two days ago, they put up a plea for people to help contribute some money to fight the Rav’s protracted battles with the State.

You can read more HERE, and also donate the 500 shekels they are asking every family to give, to help get the Rav out of prison.

Make no mistake, that the Rav’s battles are 100% our own.

Just as Covid 1984 started in earnest when he was falsely imprisoned, so we will all get out of prison / lockdown / the world of lies when Rav Berland is released.

And the Sitra Achra knows this, which is why it keeps delaying… and delaying… and delaying…

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That same test has rolled around again.

It’s another ‘circle’ that needs completing, another ‘cycle’ that needs closure.

To be with the Rav, on the side of truth, on the side of justice, on the side of achdut and ahavat chinam – or to be against.

And I don’t know if there will be another chance given to pass it, before we move on to the next stage of this birur process.

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Go HERE to donate to the Rav and do the mitzvah of pidyon shuvuim (releasing captives), and to read more about the appeal.

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