For a very long time, I was caught up in battling narcissists.
It started when my obsession with the ‘Erev Rav’ kind of dovetailed with lots of difficult people, and painful relationships in my own life, and over the course of around a decade, I found myself deep in the ‘narcissist parsha’.
A lot of good ultimately came from that battle.
I wrote a whole bunch of books about how to deal with those people, this phenomenon, and how a person can free their own soul from being caught up in the bonds of narcissistic behavior and attitudes.
Why am I coming back to this topic again, now?
Narcissism’s main power lies in deceit, manipulation and ‘brainwashing’ other people into thinking a certain way (usually, their way), in order to control them.
I wrote a whole bunch of stuff about how narcissism shows up in real time, in our real relationships, over on my other blog, HERE.
I’m not going to rehash it all again.
But I wanted to set out what happens when people start to pull away from the narcissists in their lives, and start thinking for themselves again.
Because I think it will really help you to understand more of what’s going on around us, with this whole ‘plandemic’ and how actions in our own life really can affect the outcome, in a very big way.
So, here are the stages of moving out of that manipulated, guilted and ‘brainwashed’ state:
Stage 1: Total confusion
This is where the cognitive dissonance between what you’ve been told and taught to believe, and what you’re actually seeing with your own eyes and experiencing with your own flesh starts to go stratospheric.
For example, you’re told – repeatedly – that millions of people are dying from Covid-19 and that we’ve never had such a bad ‘pandemic’.
But you look around, and you just can’t see that reflected in your own life, your own circle of acquaintances.
This is where true freedom of the soul can begin – or where it will end.
People hate to feel confused. They hate uncertainty.
So they have a lot of motivation to defuse that confusion by tuning out one side of the argument, one ‘information set’ that is in conflict with the other.
At this stage, those who are drawn to the truth will start to permit themselves to question ‘the official narrative’ – even though that is terribly scary. Because who knows what else they are going to discover, when they open that can of worms?
And then on the other side, there are those who will effectively switch their own God-given abilities to think for themselves, and to feel their own emotions, off, and to just go with the ‘official line’.
This happens in narcissistic relationships, and it’s also happening in the world, all around us, all the time.
But especially at the moment.
The people who chose to ‘switch themselves off’ can always chose to switch back on again, in the future.
But typically, few will take this option, as the price of acknowledging the truth – and admitting they were wrong, brainwashed, taken advantage of, duped – gets higher and higher.
The exception to this rule will be if the ‘price’ of going along with the official narrative outweighs the ‘pain’ of questioning their own assumptions and beliefs.
More on this in a moment.
Stage 2: Cautious Pushback
This is where the newly-minted truth seeker starts trying out the possibility that things aren’t what they really seem.
Typically, it’s characterised by cautious pushback, where they start to give themselves permission to have a different opinion from those around them. And to read ‘conspiracy theories’ with a more open mind, to try and figure out if it’s really possible they are being lied to, and have assumed things that aren’t really true.
At this stage, the person is still very unsure about what is going on, and even might start to believe that they are going a little crazy, or nuts.
I mean, EVERYONE ELSE believes that [Covid-19 is a real pandemic / my controlling, angry mum is a selfless angel / my sister really does have a good heart, despite all her ongoing abuse and manipulation…]
Typically, when our ability to reason, and our ability to really connect to our own true feelings about things, instead of ignoring them and stuffing them down, come back online, it can take a while to re-orient.
I know quite a few people right now who literally believe they might be going crazy, because they are giving themselves permission to think what they really think, and to feel what they really feel.
And frankly, that feels very weird to them, especially at the beginning.
All of a sudden, they are having all these mood swings.
All of a sudden, they are feeling angry.
All of a sudden, their tolerance for other people, and for other people’s behavior, is plummeting through the floor.
Let me reassure you:
All this is very, very normal.
In the olam hafuch, we have been taught that the only acceptable feeling is ‘fake happy’.
But that world is flipping around now, and all these other feelings all have a place, and a use, and a message to give us about what we need to work on, change, acknowledge and fix.
But in the meantime, we are starting to ‘feel ourselves’ – maybe for the first time in our lives – and we are starting to think for ourselves, cautiously.
And that will instantly bring us into greater conflict with those around us who are still abiding by the narcissist paradigm.
This stage can be very, very difficult to navigate.
It requires a lot of soul-searching, talking to God, and courage.
But I can tell you from personal experience, the benefits of reclaiming your soul, your real self, cannot be overstated.
Stage 3: The Carrot
This is where the narcissist / narcissist paradigm launches a full-on charm offensive, to convince you that all your doubts are unfounded, and to entice you back into the mental bondage that is ‘their way’, ‘their belief system’.
Do this, and you’ll get all these benefits!
We only have your best interests at heart!
Of course you can trust me! Why would I lie?!
Who have you been talking to, who’s been filling your head with all these conspiracy theories?!
If that doesn’t work, it’ll also be larded up with heavy doses of guilt and manipulation.
How could you do this to me / to us?
Don’t you care about other people?
If five million people die, it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!
For the person who is trying to reclaim their soul, this stage is so very difficult, because you become filled with self-doubt, and start questioning your own clarity.
Maybe, I got this all wrong?
Look how nice they are being to me, how genuine they seem to be, how trustworthy they appear…
What do I really know, anyway, about what’s really going on here?
Hitbodedut, talking to God, daily attempts to reconnect to your inner truth, your higher self, your real soul, is crucial for navigating this stage in one piece, without going bonkers.
And if you do that successfully, here’s where we get to the final part of the process:
Stage 4: The beast comes out of the shadows
This is where the gloves come off, and the ‘nice narcissist paradigm / person’ suddenly transforms into your worst nightmare.
What, you’re going to fine me 1000 nis for breathing fresh air?!
What, you are going to set things up that if I don’t ‘choose’ to be vaccinated, you are going to make me unemployable?!
What, you are threatening me with a prison sentence for marrying off my child / trying to make a living / disagreeing with you?!
Yes, yes and yes.
Because all this is really just about control.
The downside of this stage is that there is no more lying to yourself about the ‘good heart’, the ‘caring persona’, the ‘underneath good guy or gal’.
When you finally see the true face of what’s lurking underneath that plastic, fake ‘nice’ exterior, it can literally leave you queasy for days, weeks and even months.
This is where all the brainwashing finally crashes down, and you start to re-evaluate all your previous negative experiences, all those previous warning signs that you ignored or rationalised away, in the light of your new understanding that something here was very wrong, all along.
Typically, this is where people feel immense rage and anger at being fooled / abused / enslaved for so long.
This is when the revolutions that transform history, and re-align the world, can happen.
But, while it’s very healthy to experience this stage, it’s very unhealthy to let it last a second longer than is really required for mental and spiritual health.
Let the rage flow up and out – but then take it all back to God, remember that He is really running the world, and make a very big effort to forgive the ‘sticks’ He used to beat you up – but without forgiving the behavior and actions itself, and definitely without ‘forgetting’ all about it.
Remember it. Continue to defend against it, and fight against it.
But don’t get bogged down in hatred and bitterness.
The upsides of this stage are many.
Once the mask comes off, and you see what lurks underneath, all your doubts and confusions suddenly disappear, and you’ll feel freer than you ever felt before, spiritually.
You’ll be vindicated for ‘going against’.
You’ll be empowered to continue thinking and feeling for yourself.
Your mind will start to expand in a billion new, creative directions.
You’ll have way more energy and joie de vivre.
You’ll feel much, much closer to Hashem, and much more spiritually switched-on and aware.
And finally, you’ll have left the world of lies for good.
As below, so above.
The more we all work on extricating ourselves from the clutches of the psychos in our midst – including family members, ‘friends’, bosses, gannenets, bus drivers, doctors, politicians, whoever – the faster this geula process will go.
Don’t let anyone guilt you, or manipulate you, or threaten you, or coerce you, into not thinking for yourself.
Or to not feeling your own feelings, and staying true to the message they are giving you.
This isn’t about following any given ‘line’, or ‘theory’, or political stance.
It’s about being real, with God.
And about setting your soul free to follow the truth.
And that’s why the Powers That Be – domestic and international, ‘out there’ and behind closed doors – are desperately trying to crush this blossoming of spiritual awareness.
But – with God’s help – they won’t win.
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