I have to admit, I’ve been feeling kinda down about the state of the world again.

I know on Succot there is a mitzvah d’orayta to be happy – and I went to the Rav’s tent in Meah Shearim to dance a bit yesterday, on the hiloula of Rebbe Nachman – but I’m still feeling not so happy.

I guessing I’m not alone.

My husband told me that the band in the Rav’s tent was changing the words to some of the traditional songs being sung, to insert new lyrics about masks and corona ending, as people return to really believing in God.

He suspects the Rav may have had a hand in some of these lyrics, as it’s the Breslov belief that things that can’t be sweetened any other way, can still be sweetened by dancing and niggunim.

I hope he’s right.

====

This isn’t going to be a long post.

I just wanted to bring your attention, again, to this one hour documentary with English subtitles, that contains literally tens of first-hand stories of people who had severe health injuries in Israel after the Pfizer shot, or who lost loved ones – including their children.

It’s from the VaxTestimonies.org/en  (screenshot below).
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As part of the censorship, I’m finding I can’t embed this video on my site, so if clicking this image, below, doesn’t work, then go straight to the link under this image.

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And it’s not only in Israel that the media has been deliberately covering up all the death and destruction being wreaked by these DARPA-funded graphene nanotech Covid shots.

This headline from September 15, 2021 kind of says it all:

Local Detroit TV Asks for Stories of Unvaxxed Dying from COVID – Gets over 180K Responses of Vaccine Injured and Dead Instead

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Here’s a screenshot of some of those 180k responses, that turned up on Facebook:
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In the Israeli documentary, nearly all of the witnesses said that when they tried to get medical help for their issues, they were told it had nothing to do with the ‘vaccine’.

Many of them suffered terrible side effects, but often the doctors treating them here refused to take their Covid jab side effects seriously (which of course, means they definitely weren’t even reported…) and then, when the ‘side effects’ persisted, made a very big deal of stressing that these new health issues had nothing to do with the experimental shots they’d just been jabbed with!!!!
====

They have been lying to us about everything.

And they got away with it, because we are also lying to ourselves, about so many things, so much of the time, that we can’t tell the difference between ‘truth and lies’.
Sigh.

I give us all a bracha, that as the festival of Succot winds down, we should all find the courage to face the truth about what is really happening in our lives, and in the world – and most of all, within ourselves and our relationships.

And when we do that, this ‘pandemic’ – and the rule of the covert evil that has been orchestrating all this from the shadows – will be over in an instant.

====

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Is it OK to take dodgy new ‘medicines’ because God is going to decide if we’re going to die, anyway?

At the bottom of THIS post, an interesting discussion developed in the comments section, and I’m bringing parts of it here, into its own post, and expanding it, because there are some fundamental issues here that need addressing.

As always, this is NOT about trying to make ourselves ‘right’ and others ‘wrong’.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and free choice is paramount. We can’t force others to accept our views – about anything! – and we shouldn’t be trying to.

That said, ‘personal opinion’ and ‘cold, hard fact’ are often conflated, as we all have blind spots and biases, and selectively pick and choose the things we read and watch, and the things we believe, to support our underlying bias.

And I also do that too, hard as I try not to.

It’s human nature.

====

What helps here is to remember the ‘100%-0%- rule of discussion and disagreement.

That rule basically states that no-one is 100% right, or 100% wrong, and that the truth can always be found on both sides of the discussion or argument, even if it ends up being a 99%-1% split.

That 1% of truth is still valuable, and it’s part of this ongoing birur process, to bring it out and acknowledge it, when we hear it in other people’s arguments, or view points, that contradict our own.

So with all these caveats out the way, let’s dive in.

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First, here’s Devorah’s comment, which sparked this post:

Quarantine camps are not concentration camps.

Australia is an island, they have gone to a great deal of trouble to keep us Covid free, obviously that didn’t work out, hence the lockdowns.

Those ”camps” are just in case we are swamped with Covid and there is nowhere to isolate people and the hotels/hospitals are all full.

So far we have not needed anything like that. It was a ‘worst case’ scenario. I can assure all of you that we are very safe here, and sometimes I think everyone is just looking for disasters to happen to fit in with their own scenarios.

==

I’ve read some dreadful and ridiculous things about Australia on the internet.

I’ve seen a video of a child apparently being wrenched from her parents and forced to take the vaccine. No idea what that was about as children here are not vaccinated at all. They have just started to allow vaccines for 12-15 year olds, but they are voluntary. No vaccine is forced on anyone, certainly not children.

While there are some conditions attached to people who choose to not vaccinate, such as travel…. those conditions seem to be consistent with the rest of the world. So of course anyone who wants to travel will get the vaccine.

==

I don’t believe that the vaccine is a conspiracy.

It’s a new vaccine, it hasn’t been tested properly obviously People have died from it and people have gotten sick from it. But I don’t believe anyone dies unless Hashem decreed they should die, and had they not received the vaccine, they would have died anyway either from Covid or something else.

Isn’t that what the Torah teaches us? No-one dies unless it is decreed in Heaven? Even a suicide needs permission from Heaven to actually die.

Correct me if I’m wrong here please.

I don’t know what is really going on, but I do know that whatever is happening is sanctioned by Hashem, as a preparation for Geula.

So I am not worried about it, and I’m not losing any sleep, this is how Hashem wants things to be to prepare the world for Moshiach.

====

Here’s what I responded – and I’m going to expand on this, below, as this is part of a very important spiritual birur:

You are raising some interesting points.

I think at least some of what we’re all being fed by the media in relation to ‘anti vaxxers’ is definitely ‘staged’.

I.e. in Israel, hard as it is, I’ve seen videos of police violently ‘arresting’ chareidi women in supermarkets, and it strikes me that this is Government-designed propaganda to ‘scare’ everyone else in chareidi supermarkets into wearing a mask without resisting.

==

The chareidi supermarkets I shop in seem to be very laid back about masks – increasingly so, Baruch Hashem.

And even the crazy ‘mask fascist’ supermarkets I have shopped in formerly never got the police involved. So there does seem to be a strong element of deliberate disinformation going on, which is why it’s useful to pool information from people on the ground who are not working for the Deep State, or MSM.

==

That said, I can’t agree with your comments that this is a vaccine – it isn’t.

It doesn’t prevent transmission, and it doesn’t prevent infection. And it doesn’t contain any attenuated ‘virus’. These are the basic requirements for something to be considered a ‘vaccine’, according to scientific and medical definitions that have been in play for decades, so whatever this IS, it’s not a ‘vaccine’.

It’s an experimental gene therapy – and again, this isn’t ‘conspiracy’, this is plain, hard fact.

==

Also, it’s hard to see why camps of any nature should be set up for a disease that has a 99.5% of surviving for ANYONE, even geriatrics with co-moribidities.

Nor why masks should be forced on a population when they a) don’t prevent transmission of anything and b) actually cause decreased de-oxygenation of the blood (and never mind the stress and psychological damage, which is also through the roof.)

==

That biotoxic graphene oxide is being used to coat many of these masks is also clearly and openly admitted – not least, by the companies who are manufacturing these products in their hundreds of millions – and so is also not in the realm of ‘conspiracy’, but cold, hard fact.

==

The second part of this discussion – the spiritual one about no-one dying unless Hashem decrees it – goes to the heart of deep spiritual questions about free choice, and personal responsibility. 

The short answer is that I think the approach you set out above is based on ‘false emuna’.

We are totally responsible for ourselves and our health. Someone can’t take drugs, or eat fried mars bars for breakfast every day, or go for a run in the middle of the highway and say ‘I’m not responsible for any bad outcome here, it’s God who decides if I’m going to die.’

God IS running the whole world, Ein Od Milvado. But there is still reward and punishment for our choices, both in this world and the next.

And while God gives us ‘permission’ to go against His divine will, so that free choice can exist, we are still ‘rewarded’ for really doing what He wants, and punished for doing the opposite.

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So now, let’s explore this idea of ‘reward and punishment’ and free choice a little more.

Long-term readers of this blog probably know that I spent many years in a state of ‘false emuna’.

We had a fake ‘rabbi’ a few years’ back who told my husband that God was responsible for our parnassa, so he should basically quit his job, and just pray for God to send him his income.

This sounded correct spiritually, because Ein Od Milvado – and it’s a basic tenet of belief that our parnassa IS decided on Rosh Hashana by Hashem, and that it’s going to come to us one way or another, regardless of what we do.

(See, all these false emuna arguments work the same way…)

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So, my husband jacked in the well-paying job that he was anyway hating, and started doing six hours of hitbodedut a day, for God to send us income direct.

Within three months, we’d totally run out of money, and we had days where I couldn’t buy food or toilet paper.

We ended up having to sell our house just to be able to live.

And my husband got so ‘burnt’ by his ‘fake emuna’ experiment, he sank into a serious depression for two years, and had enormous psychological trauma that going back to work would mean he’d failed the ‘good, believing Jew’ test.

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I’ve written about the various facets of that experience before, but here’s the distilled version of what I learned from that, relevant to this discussion about Covid ‘vaccines’:

  1. We only listen to the people, the experts, the ‘rabbis’ we want to listen to.

We often don’t want to take responsibility for our own lives, and our own decisions, so instead we find some egomaniac with a big reputation, with charisma, with a strong opinion that really accords with our own, and then we ‘follow their advice’.

When it goes wrong, we feel we can still ‘blame them’ for what happened, so that’s OK then.

We can carry on telling ourselves ‘victim stories’ and moaning about all the horrible people who have misled us, while still refusing to take the basic responsibility for our own lives.

2. God created the world as a partnership between Him and us.

So YES, of course, Ein Od Milvado.

Everything is God.

But God also wants me to do my part.

He wants ME to pray profusely about my decisions and my actions; He wants ME to make the birur between true and false information and beliefs; He wants ME to make my maximum effort to try to sweeten things, and to try to change things with my sincere prayers and teshuva and mesirut nefesh, so that He doesn’t have to bring harsh judgments to the world.

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When we ran out of cash, and had all the other suffering we had, connected to our false emuna, it took me a while to realise that it was TOTALLY DESERVED.

We were operating from a false, arrogant, ‘superior’ and unreal place.

I mean, who were we, really, to think we were on the level to get enough cash to maintain a huge house and an expensive lifestyle by way of open miracles?!?

I write that now, and I see how totally absurd it is.

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God created a world where men work on their emuna by having to work for a living without getting stressed or miserly. And women work on their emuna, fundamentally, by having to pray for Divine assistance with their shalom bayit and raising their children.

That is the work God created us to do, day to day.

Can I do this, can I work on my emuna and cope with life without getting God involved in my decision-making process and day-to-day issues?

Absolutely not!

But, that also doesn’t mean I can run away from taking the responsibility for my own decisions and choices by saying ‘God is doing everything, anyway….

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Breslov teachings set this out very clearly.

Rav Natan writes that BEFORE a decision, BEFORE an action:

I am 100% responsible to do my homework, to do my hishtadlut, to pray for guidance, to try to do the birur as completely as I can, as to what is correct, and what God wants from me.

AFTER the decision:

The outcome is totally up to God, and what God wants for me.

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So, let’s try and tease out how all this applies to the discussion in hand.

Covid 19 is all about getting each one of us make teshuva, and to developing the sort of emuna we need to get into geula, and the world of truth.

As such, the teshuva is built in at every stage of this process.

Personally I try to follow Breslov teachings as much as I’m able. so for the last 10 years, I have been doing my best to totally stay away from all Western doctors, and their ‘cut and medicate’ approach to illness.

For me, health comes down to making the appropriate teshuva across the three levels of body, mind and soul – and then doing pidyonot nefesh for the stuff that’s rooted in previous gilgulim, that I can’t reach myself.

====

If I get sick because I eat pizza and fries every day, don’t exercise, don’t sleep enough and do drugs – then probably, changing these habits around at the ‘body’ level will go a long way to helping me heal.

If I get sick because I am constantly stuffing down negative emotions like anger, hatred and arrogance, or wallowing in despair and jealousy, or trying to ‘control’ others to try to ‘control’ my own anxiety levels – then starting to work through these emotions in hitbodedut, and starting to do some real (but still gentle…) cheshbon hanefesh to really own my own feelings about things will probably help a lot

If I get sick because I’m disconnected from God, and from Torah and mitzvot, and / or treating other people in a bad way, and / or not living my life in accordance with Hashem’s plan for me – then this is where strengthening the spiritual connection will make a big difference.

====

So, Covid 19, for me, has been one big test of trying to see the good in others, and trying to accept God’s will without falling into despair, while still continuing to do the birur about what is really going on here.

It’s not been about a physical fear of the ‘disease’ itself.

But for others, the test is different.

====

For some people, it’s a constant battle wavering between ‘getting vaccinated’ because of peer pressure and government coercion, and staying true to what they themselves really believe.

For others, it’s about respecting other people’s free choice, and the decision to NOT vaccinate, even when they themselves can clearly see vaccination is a gift from shemayim to save humanity.

For others, the test comes down to not fearing ‘Covid’, but fearing Hashem, instead.

Or not fearing the negative effects of the ‘vaccine’, but fearing Hashem instead – and looking for a spiritual response to turn everything around for the best.

Or maybe, the test is to maintain achdut and respect, even when ‘the other’ believes in things, and acts in ways, that you personally find totally repugnant and hard-to-understand.

Or to stand up for what’s true and right, and to go against the flow, even when that is going to cost you big, in some way, and require a lot of courage.

Point is, each person’s test is specifically geared to them, and what they need to work on and fix.

====

But there are some generalities, across the board.

God wants us to have more emuna, to really believe in Him and to know Ein Od Milvado.

For sure.

All those people in favor of ‘force-vaxxing’ others to resolve their lack of emuna and ongoing fear and anxiety probably need to focus more in this area.

At the same time:

God also wants us to take more responsibility for what is going on in the world, and what is going on in our lives, and to do the hard work of birur.

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Birur doesn’t just mean trying to sort fact from fiction, propaganda from truth, personal bias from objective reality.

It really means doing the birur inside of us, about all the bad middot and false beliefs that are still hanging out in our souls.

Lack of empathy for ‘the other’ is bad middot.

Wanting to be ‘right’ at any cost is bad middot.

Absolving ourselves from caring about what is going on, or getting the hint about what God wants us to change in our own lives is bad middot.

Painting people all people who disagree with us as ‘conspiracy theorists’ or ‘crazy psychos’ who I don’t have to engage with at all – is bad middot.

Because even psychos and conspiracy theories are from God, and have something to teach us, even if it’s just a 1% of something.

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I’ll stop there, but I’m very happy to have more of a discussion about this, if there are specific points anyone wants to air out in the comments section.

Let’s end with the wise words of Rabbenu, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov:

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Rebbe Nachman spoke about the correct way to deal with harsh decrees:

He said:

“[E]ach person must say that the world was only created for his sake, and [the Rebbe said] how every person must endeavor to make up the deficiencies of the world, praying on its behalf – i.e. before the decree [actually materialises].

He also said the following:

“That year [1803] the Rebbe was very preoccupied with the Cantonist Decrees. He was extremely worried about the situation and said they were not an idle threat. He disagreed strongly with the people who were saying nothing would come of it in the end, for how could God do such a thing to the Jewish people?!

The Rebbe said several times that this was nonsense.

We find many occasions when harsh decrees did materialise.

The Rebbe spoke about this a great deal and said that the rumored decrees had to be taken with the utmost seriousness and not be treated lightly.

We had to pray and cry out to God, and to be and beseech Him in the hope that He would hear us and annul them….

If only people had listened to his call to set the earth shaking with prayers and appeals to God, these decrees would have been nullified completely!”

(Tzaddik, Conversations Relating to His Lessons, page 132)

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Ultimately, saying ‘everything is from God, so I don’t have to do anything about it or worry’ is spiritual apathy.

It’s spiritual laziness. It’s false emuna.

God wants us to see the ‘bad’ on the horizon, and to pray our hearts out to get the ‘bad’ to disappear – in whichever way God sees fit.

That’s our part of the equation, our part of the deal.

And none of us are exempt.

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When I was 18, I spent a year learning poet Philip Larkin, for my A-levels.

Strangely, a lot of his poetry actually spoke to me, and as I age, I find more and more of his stanzas popping into my head.

Like, after my post office experience, and after so many different members of my family also got attacked by proto-nazi ‘Karens’ for not wearing face masks over their noses, this verse popped, unbidden, into my head:

Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough
It isn’t fit for humans now,
There isn’t grass to graze a cow
— Swarm over, Death!

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Except of course, I mentally scratched out the word ‘Slough’ and replaced it with ‘Karen’.

It’s been a rough week, emotionally.

A week of super-high stress.

A week of really starting to worry again, that this isn’t going to turn out so well after all.

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My husband is Mr Super-chilled.

He’s one of those that stays calm and collected on the outside, while all the time secretly cultivating mouth ulcers.

Even he came home yesterday super-super-stressed, by his experiences on the Jerusalem tram.

Two days ago, two pensioner Karens called the ticket inspector on him, because he wasn’t wearing a mask.

The ticket inspector had seen his ticket – when he was maskless – and not mentioned anything.

But once these proto-Nazi Karens started screaming and hollering that he wasn’t wearing a mask!!! That dirty Jewish person is not wearing a mask!!! Get him off the train and disinfect him in some camp somewhere IMMEDIATELY!!!

Well.

The ticket inspector found themselves between a rock and a hard place, and told my husband to fully mask up, or get booted off the train.

====

This stuff wears you down.

I went to Kever Dan yesterday with a friend.

I wasn’t wearing a mask and had no intention of wearing a mask.

Suddenly, a minibus of middle-aged Sephardi grandmas joined us at the Kever, nearly all wearing masks.

I tensed for the coming assault….

Baruch Hashem, it never came, and most of the ladies ‘de-masked’ pretty fast themselves once they settled in.

But it showed me just how much I am living in fear of the next confrontation with the Karens.

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Come friendly bombs…

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Another friend of mine told me she was sitting in the park when she met someone into ‘healthy’ stuff, who she’s had some good conversations with in the past.

Somehow or other, the conversation shifted to Covid 19 ‘vaccinations’, and my friend confessed she hadn’t lined up to be injected with graphene nanobots and DNA origami.

The other woman – who it turns out was totally vaccinated up to the wahootsi – narrowed her eyes, and told my friend:

You are putting my life in danger.

Say what?!?

Why are you taking the ‘vaccine’ if it doesn’t even work, Karen?

Of course, logical arguments like this get you precisely nowhere, because this isn’t about ‘logic’ or facts – and it never was.

And it really puts you off going out of your house, when you have to deal with proto-Nazi morons whose bad middot and lack of emuna have totally swamped their humanity and ability to think.

====

So here in Israel, the fear factor, the fascist ‘blaming people’ factor, is going through the roof again.

And our dear leader Naftali Bennett is spouting his corona-fascism every chance he gets.

The good news is, he’s no Bibi.

Bibi was a much better actor, a master manipulator, while Bennett is kind of like a chainsaw sculpture.

Get vaccine or no holiday…

Get vaccine or no job…

Get vaccine or we take your dog and shoot it….

It’s not subtle, is it?

And more and more people are slowly starting to figure out that something is very wrong with this picture.

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Nearly all my daughter’s friends were ‘vaccinated’, mostly so they could get their freedoms back.

Now they are seeing there are no freedoms, still, there is no end to the ‘coronavirus scamdemic’, and the endless demands to curtail their liberties and human rights, at least some of them are starting to regret that they rushed to get the shots.

I’m sure their ranks will swell and swell, as the next few weeks play out.

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Ima, this is the blanket being shaken, and it’s amazing that we’re holding on!

My daughter told me yesterday.

It IS amazing that we are holding on.

I just hope we can continue, as the madness escalates further and further.

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But let’s just come back to those proto-Nazi Karens.

And to all the other ‘small people’ who are keeping this rule of evil going, like the nurses who are busily injecting the graphene oxide into old and young arms; and the police who are busily enforcing illegal ‘quarantine’ regulations; and the ticket inspectors on the public trams, who would rather keep their jobs in the Third Reich, than stand up for freedom and human dignity.

Let’s ask those people this question:

When all this is finally unmasked; when this whole plandemic is finally exposed as the ‘final solution’ for humanity it was engineered to be, are you going to tell your descendants that you were ‘just following orders?’

And are you going to expect your descendants – and the rest of us – to accept that, as a reason for why you continued to function as a small cog in this fascist, evil, destructive machine?

If that thought is making you a little uncomfortable (and it really should….)

Get out now, while you still have some of your soul intact.

====

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The written word has a unmatched ability to slice through confusion, and reveal a clear – if sometimes painful – clarity.

Yesterday, I read something that really touched me at the soul level, and kind of explained what I’d been seeing myself, all around, but haven’t been able to pull down into words.

For once, this isn’t going to be a post about nanobots or fake rabbis (more of those are in the works, don’t fret…).

It’s going to be a post about the most important relationship in this physical world – the connection between husband and wife.

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First, please go and read THIS post, which I will quote a little from below.

It’s written by Reva Emunah Seidel, who has the usual 58 jobs, hobbies and interests of a busy Jewish mother listed in her biography.

Here’s a little of what she wrote:

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It is hard to not cry as I write this.

We women are the Shechina. And we know that the way to heal all of the pain and suffering in the world is to reunite Kudsha Brich Hu with Shechinte. The Masculine with the Feminine.

We love you, men. We love you so much.

We often see your potential long before you yourselves have seen it. We believe in you. So much. We want to support you in any way we can. Spiritually and materially and physically. So we are willing to hold and receive all of you. The healed parts. The not yet healed parts. The beautiful parts. And the not so beautiful. Broken and whole. We want to draw you into us. To comfort you, to build you, to encourage you, to be your home in the world. We want to show you your own light, as it is reflected back to you through us. We are your malchut– your mirror.

But we are so tired. Exhausted, really. Shechinta b’Galuta.

If the final healing of the world, Moshiach, will come, because we learn and practice the secrets of unification, what unification can be holier/more whole than reuniting a man and a woman and creating an ADAM- a whole and integrated human being?

But our hearts…they are shattered. We don’t know anymore how to reach you- how to connect with you.

Just in these past few weeks…the stories I have gone through. The stories my friends have gone through…

====

Here’s some more – but I’m skipping lots of beautiful things out, so please go and read it all in the original, HERE.

You beautiful Jewish men….

You want to receive all we have to give- our softness, our admiration for you, our time, our company, our deep listening…but you choose to place your own comfort before ours, over and over again….

Giving feels to you like a burden.

To put a woman’s needs above your own is seen as a bother. You don’t see the immense power you have to be a mashpia. To lift a woman from the ashes of despair by shining onto her the light of Torah and mitzvot. And by healing and loving this one woman who Hashem placed in your path, by way of hashgacha pratis, you will learn to open your heart to love Hashem, yourself, and all of creation.

====

None of my daughters’ close friends have boyfriends, even though a large part of them have been trying for a couple of years.

By boyfriend, I mean a man to start dating with a view to settling down and getting married, in the relatively near future.

In our home, our eldest just broke up with someone she’s been seeing for two years, because he is totally petrified of the idea of getting married.

We can blame all this on a million different reasons – many of which may well have some basis – but it really all boils down to this:

We live in a world where there are hardly any real ‘men’ – as defined as men who want to give to, and connect to, the women in their lives.

====

We live in a world populated by ‘boys’ of all ages, who view giving to the women in their life as a ‘burden’ to be avoided, evaded and minimised.

Most of these ‘boys’ of all ages can only see themselves, and what’s good for them, and what suits them.

And that’s why the last few years, I have been experiencing a tsunami of divorce and relationship dysfunction all around me.

I can count the couples my age who I still know about, who didn’t get divorced, on one hand.

====

One day, these selfish ‘boys’ just wake up, and realise they don’t feel like working on all the bad middot that are ruining their marriages.

And they don’t feel like having to continually think about someone else, or other people’s needs, including their own children’s.

These ‘boys’ have bought into the mistaken idea that the pinnacle of happiness is to do exactly what they want, whenever they want it.

If they want to… they can stop keeping shabbat, and start driving motorbikes around, and spend all day in the office without worrying about helping out at home, and take off to go camping, fishing and drinking with their buddies, and just watch 70s soccer highlights until their brain dissolves, and date a different woman every week, and….and….and….

====

Man, those guys are so very miserable, it’s hard to even describe it.

They are trapped in a lie, stuck in the belief that what is going to make them happy is to just carry on taking with no responsibility, and no commitment, and no real giving in return.

And I’m seeing this mindset wreak destruction in every age group.

For older couples, it’s leading to divorce and relationship breakdown in unprecedented numbers.

And for younger singles….

The men have gone AWOL.

They just want the ‘milk’ without paying for the cow.

They want the ‘jam’ without the bread.

And the world is totally falling apart, because of it.

====

I’ve been watching some of these ‘boys’, of all ages, screw up their lives in a million different ways.

I’ve been noticing how as soon as there is some effort required, some chagnsome giving needed that is hard for them to do, instead of knuckling down and growing into the tremendous, awesome people God designed them to be, they run away.

It’s easier to eat cold beans from a tin every single night than to work on fixing even one bad character trait, it’s true.

But that doesn’t mean that eating cold beans from a tin every single night is a good way to live.

====

There is an answer, there is a solution, to this problem.

But most of the ‘boys’ out there don’t want to even consider it, because it’s going to take a lot of effort and self-control and prayer, and asking God for help.

We are here to fix ourselves, to do our tikkun, to fix the world by working on ourselves, and overcoming the bad middot that are stuffing up our relationships with everyone, but especially, with God.

I’m not saying women don’t have our own work to do on our bad middot, because of course we do.

But we are just the mirrors of the men.

We get all our ‘light’ from our men, and when those men are off shining their ‘light’ into their beer cans, and their forest raves, and their business meetings, instead of into us – well.

No wonder we greet them with a dark face.

====

Women also need to be talking to God for an hour a day, and working on our internal stuff.

But here’s the thing:

Most women will agree wholeheartedly with this statement, even if they are struggling in practise to do it.

While most men (boys…) will run away or close you down before that statement has even been completed.

====

In our crazy world, none of us have been taught how to ‘relate’ properly, not to ourselves, not to God, and not to our partners, spouses and kids.

That’s part of how they are keeping geula at bay, and humanity so darned ‘small’, selfish and miserable.

But the proper way to ‘relate’ can be learned.

And ‘boys’ can turn into real men, and they can fix the world in a way that we women can really only dream of.

====

Like Reva, I also see the tremendous potential hidden away in so many of the ‘boys’ in my life.

And like Reva, I sometimes also cry about the massive gap between the selfish, self-centred and superficial ‘boys’ I’m struggling with, and the tremendous men they could become.

If they would only start to believe in themselves.

And start to look inside.

And start to really connect to God.

And start to follow the instruction manuals and advice from our true tzaddikim.

Then, they could mamash change the world.

And bring geula.

At least, for themselves and the women in their lives.

====

One last note, about my husband, who is probably reading this and worrying I’m writing it about him.

I can honestly say that since my husband started learning and living Rav Arush’s ‘Garden of Peace’ more than a decade ago, he has been more of a ‘man’ spiritually, than almost anyone I know.

He doesn’t berate me for spending money, even though I don’t work and sometimes money is tight.

He tries to give me whatever he can, in whichever way he can, as happily as he can.

He frequently holds his tongue when I’m going off on one.

He puts up with my bad moods, my occasional selfishness, my current inability to cook amazing suppers (which started around two months ago, and which I’m still struggling with.)

And he TRIES to relate, even though it’s very hard, and so much of what I want to talk to him about sets off an automatic impulse to visit the bathroom for an hour.

====

Let’s be clear, that marriage is still a challenge.

We still sometimes fight.

I still sometimes get so angry I want to throw a plate at his head, or bite him.

We still sometimes relate like ‘ships passing in the night’, especially when there is a lot of stress going on.

But we’ve been married for 24 years, and we (mostly…) still enjoy each others company – and I’m totally giving him the credit for that.

When we hit a really tough patch about 14 years ago, he knuckled down, started to do his ‘inner work’, started to read the Garden of Peace, started to go to Uman on Rosh Hashana, and started to work on developing the emuna it would take for us to stay together, and to overcome the massive issues (internal and external) and bad middot that were rocking our marriage on all sides.

That is the true definition of being a ‘man’.

(Just to keep this as ‘real’ as possible, know that I also sent him to Uman around 20 times, bought him a Garden of Peace and nagged him incessantly to start doing hitbodedut every day; cried rivers of tears, tried to work on developing my own patience and emuna and when things really got stuck, I did A LOT of pidyonot for him with Rav Berland. And that last one is really the shortcut.)

====

So, let me end with a blessing for us all.

I bless all the women that we should find our true basherts if we are still single; and that if we are already married, our men’s souls should start to really blossom and open up, so that we can connect to them, and they can connect to themselves, and to God, and to be the tremendous force for good in the world they were created to be.

And I bless all the boys out there, of every age, that God should help them to finally grow up into the men they need to be, without making any more excuses for their bad middot and physical ta’avot.

And I bless all these ‘boys’ that they should understand that growing up is not something to be afraid of, but something that will give them more energy, excitement and true happiness than anything else.

And I bless all of us that finally, all our homes should truly be a place where the shechina can dwell, and where peace between husband and wife will reign, and where geula will become a reality, at least in our daily lives.

Amen.

====

Change can happen.

But only when we really want it to, and we’re prepared to grow up.

====

PS: As I was putting the finishing touches to this, a neighbor popped round and we started talking about it. She’s 25 and newly-married, and newly-observant.

She told me:

How can men NOT be like this today, when they have an i-Phone in their pocket and constant access to ‘instant gratification’ 24/7?

She’s right.

My daughter once said the same thing, that she thinks men don’t need women to talk to anymore because now they have i-Phones to run away into, any time they get bored, overwhelmed or lonely.

Sigh.

May this all turn around, very soon.

====

You might also like this article:

That’s the real test that’s going on right now, whatever side of this ‘vaxx’ debate you stand on.

I wanted to write this for a few days, as I’ve been reading more and more ‘scary stories’ coming out of alternative sources about the potential for these mRNA gene therapy pretend-vaccines to create ‘super bugs’ that no immune system can stand up to.

In other words, that people who are ‘vaccinated’ will become the most powerful source of illness and disease in the world, God forbid.

I have no idea if that’s true.

Is it possible?

In theory, yes.

But, if I’ve learnt one thing over the last few years, it’s that we can’t see round corners, as much as we try.

And we actually don’t really know what’s going on, because so much of the information required to ‘know’ is being hidden from us, on every level.

====

So what’s the real test that’s going on here?

Clearly, it’s not to ‘know’ everything, and to make the ‘right decision’ about whether to take the experimental gene therapy with unknown side effects that so many people decided to take, thanks to media lies and misinformation, and pressure from the government, workplaces and socially.

Personally, that just didn’t sound appealing, but I can certainly understand those people who had so much anxiety, they felt they just had to do it, to have some peace from themselves.

And I can understand those people who already bought into flu vaccines taking the ‘Covid’ shot, because no-one tole them it’s actually something totally different, and not just a ‘traditional’ vaccine, reconfigured for Covid.

I can understand people who decided to take the shot because they were pressured by family, or fearing that they wouldn’t be able to work anymore, if they didn’t.

And I hope, that at least some of those people can understand my very real concerns and objections to being forced to take this experimental ‘gene’ therapy with undisclosed ingredients and side effects.

====

Because, THAT is the real test that is going on here.

Hashem has now engineered a world where the truth is so hidden, so covered over by lies, on so many different levels, that an honest person has to put their hand up and admit:

I really have no idea what is actually going on.

Maybe, as more truth comes out about what is really going on, the pendulum going to swing, and then all of a sudden the ‘vaccinated’ will be treated like dangerous pariahs, and that’s part of why there has been this massive push to vaccinate all of Israel?

If something like that happens, and the shoe is on the other foot, is the ‘anti-vax’ crowd suddenly going to demand that ‘vaccinated’ people are kept away from society, locked up and prevented from having human rights?

You see, how easily all this could turn around?

====

So the test right now is simply to treat ‘the other’ the way we ourselves would like to be treated.

Whatever side of the equation we happen to be on.

And even assuming that we are 100% ‘right’ and the other guy is 100% ‘wrong’.

Even so, to empathise with that other person’s humanity, their soul, and to not totally denigrate and rubbish them for not thinking the way we do about things.

That is the main test right now, to have empathy:

empathy ĕm′pə-thē

  • n.
    The ability to identify with or understand another’s situation or feelings

====

You remember that horrible woman that slapped my daughter in the face, for not wearing a mask?

I was hating her guts, until I tried very hard in my hitbodedut to try to put myself in her shoes, and to understand that she was probably totally petrified and overwhelmingly anxious.

That doesn’t excuse her behavior.

But, it did mean that I could stop hating her, and I could forgive her for being a MSM-believing retard.

(And all that didn’t come so easy, btw.)

But I know it’s the test right now.

====

To keep doing the birur, to keep searching for truth, to keep trying to hold by it – but not to passul others who for whatever reasons, just can’t stick to ‘truth’ in their own lives.

With one caveat:

As long as that other person isn’t try to force ME to do things that are against my own best interest.

Because as soon as someone else is trying to control me with their fears, their propaganda, their bullying, their coercion – they are on the wrong side of the argument, spiritually, whatever else they are standing for.

====

Free choice is sacrosanct.

It’s the whole reason God make the world.

====

You believe in masks, in gene-therapy-pretend-vaccines, in the medical establishment – good for you!

But I have a God-given right to NOT.

And you have to respect that.

And vice-versa.

You don’t believe in masks, in gene-therapy-pretend-vaccines, in the medical establishment – good for you!

But others have a right to YES, believe in all that.

And we have to respect that.

====

Over half my extended family is cheerfully and enthusiastically ‘vaccinated’ already.

I worry about that, I really do.

But I’m not about to start pressuring them, even if I could, or ostracising them, or writing them bullying WhatsApp messages about what damage they are doing to the world with their choices.

I still love them.

I still want the best for them.

I still understand that given who they are, and where they are holding, they felt that getting ‘the shot’ was the best option for them.

I don’t agree – but I totally respect their decision.

And now, we will just drop the subject, and we’ll wait to see whose version of ‘the truth’ turns out to be more accurate.

====

Maybe, I’m wrong, who knows?

Maybe they are.

We will all have to deal with the consequences of our choices, whatever they turn out to be.

But in the meantime, I’m going to do my best to keep my love for others who have chosen a different past, and my respect for their basic humanity, going.

Because that is what I would want them to do for me, if it turns out I’m the one who made a mistake.

And that is how we can all pass this test.

Really.

====

You might also like this article:

 

Rosh Chodesh Adar rolled in, and I felt a black cloud start to descend.

So much fear about ‘what will be’…

So much sadness about what is ALREADY happening….

So much anger about all these dumb, evil people, all these ‘selfish narcissists’, psycho parents, egotistical bloggers, fake prophets, Dr Evils, neo-brown-shirt politicians, bureaucrats and journalists etc etc etc.

Man, I’ve been swimming in an ocean of difficult feelings the last few days.

====

Just so much anger at God, so much worry about everything that’s going on, so many recriminations against other people.

And then yesterday, I realised something that changed the whole picture:

I’m having a flashback.

I wrote all about that on my old website, which is sadly no more, but the basis idea is that ‘big feelings’ that we couldn’t deal with from the past can roar back in the present, and ‘drag us back’ to that traumatised state of mind that was never properly dealt with and defused.

====

As soon as you realise what’s going on with emotional flashbacks, they diminish by at least 75%, instantly.

What sparked my ‘flashback’ off was a few different things, including in no real order:

  1. Getting into a minor car crash – which reminded me of the horrible crash I had after the Baba Sali, that meant I had to sell my house and move to Jerusalem in very difficult circumstances.
  2. Having to deal with someone else’s ‘psycho mum‘ – which reminded me of the horrible narcissists I’ve had to deal with in my own dalet amot – until everything got sweetened with a few different pidyonot paid across to Rav Berland.
  3. Seeing that video by Yair Elitzur, filmed in Chut Shel Chesed – which brought back to me just how many high hopes we had when we first moved to Jerusalem of belonging to a real, Breslov community. And how badly they got dashed.

====

If you’ve been with me on the blog for a while, you’ll already know what I’m talking about.

And if you haven’t been with me that long- go buy THIS or THIS or THIS on Amazon, and catch yourself up.

Point is, God has been shoving all these ‘unprocessed’ emotions in my face the last 3 days, because He finally wants me to really deal with them.

And point is, probably He’s also been shoving a whole bunch of ‘unprocessed emotions’ in your face, too.

So, it’s not that your husband / mother-in-law / boss / kid / neighbor is now more annoying and upsetting and dumb than they’ve ever been before.

It’s just that God is using them to do some emotional spring-cleaning.

We’re coming down to the wire, there is no more lying to ourselves about what we really think and feel, what we’re really experiencing and why. This is the world of truth, people, and it’s roaring in a million miles an hour.

====

So, once I realised all this, and I spent some time in hitbodedut finally acknowledging all these deeply buried, undigested feelings, I started to feel way, way better and happier and calmer.

And probably, you will too.

====

I speed-watched most of Rav Anava’s new shiur yesterday, and he made some good points, similar to what I’ve been banging on about on this blog for years, that working on our bad middot is the real test, before geula kicks off in earnest.

(Ooooo, I just had a thought: do you think that I could be Moshiach? I mean, I have a blog…. and I (sometimes…) talk about Torah sources… and (two years ago) I also had a Youtube channel… and I also called out Bill Gates for being a psycho eugenicist when that wasn’t so popular…)

No?

Ah well.

Maybe if I had more of a beard….

====

Which brings me to this:

If you want the upshot, it’s basically saying that having some of the Rav’s prayers in the house is akin to smearing blood on the lintels, ahead of the Plague of the Firstborn, that decimated Egypt – and finally led to the Israelites being freed.

The way things are going, I would highly recommend you get your skates on, and get some of those prayers for yourself, your friends and your family members, while you still can.

(Reality check: I have a lot of friends and family members that I’ve basically given up on, when it comes to Rav Berland.

I guess this is the midda kneged midda part of the process, that anyone who bought all the media lies about the Rav has removed themselves from being able to access the protection of segulot like this. It’s sad, but I can no longer be bothered arguing with anyone, directly, and they’ll have to live with the consequences of their own decisions, like we all will.)

====

The latest update on the Rav is that last week the court decided that he could go to house arrest, if he puts up a total of 4 million shekels (!!!!) in bail money, and agrees to have no phone, no contact – at all – with the outside world, and especially not his community.

Let’s be clear: THERE IS NO CASE.

There never was.

And even if there was a case, surely the year he’s already spent in prison would be equal to any possible sentence they could hand down for the ‘crime’ of doing pidyon nefesh for people?

So, thanks for nothing, cr*ppy State of Israel, who is now extorting a huge fortune out of the Rav and his community, at a time when all the borders are apparently sealed shut, so the ‘flight risk’ is the lowest it could possibly be.

But it’s still progress, of sorts.

Moshiach is riding on a donkey, the process is going excrutiatingly slowly, but it’s still going.

====

Which brings me to this, the last thing for today.

It’s a comment that was left on both the Shirat Devorah and Tomer Devorah blogs – bloggers who bought all the lies about the Rav, and so now refuse to link to anything from the ravberland.com website, or about the Rav.

Which is a shame, because that’s where you are really going to find the real information, the real news, you need to get through the next part of this process intact, however ‘switched on’ you might otherwise be.

The commentator, who calls themselves ‘Real News’, basically synthesized a lot of information from the English and Hebrew Shuvu Banim sites, amongst other places – but God forbid, anyone should link to those sites, or say anything positive about Rav Berland in the comments section of those blogs!!!

I mean, Rav Berland doesn’t have a blog… or a youtube channel… and he never called out Bill Gates for being a (probable) transgendered eugenicist loving psycho live on TV, so for sure, he can’t be Moshiach….

====

Here’s the comment, in the meantime.

I’m bringing it because that ‘fear’ the Rabbanit Stern spoke of, starting Rosh Chodesh Adar, is internal.

It’s linked to all the unfinished emotional business I covered above.

Forewarned is fore-armed, because this process is only going to intensify now, regardless of the Covid 19 Purimshpiel, or the ‘Iranian Nuke’ Purimshpiel, or the ‘war between settlers and arabs’ Purimshpiel, and all the rest of the fake news.

The real war of Gog and Magog is emotional; it’s internal; it’s the war of emuna and emunat tzaddikim.

It’s the war of finally owning up to our bad middot.

And if you’ve been skipping doing that work – well, the consequences of your actions and ego are about to be revealed openly.

There’s no more running away.

There’s no more hiding.

Because that ‘donkey’ that Moshiach is riding is almost here.

====

Real News said…

On June 11, 2020, Rav Yehuda Sheinfeld said, “We are in the last stages of the chevlei Moshiach (birthpangs of the Moshiach). All that’s left is the final few months of the chevlei Moshiah.”

Rav Yehuda Sheinfeld, shlita, is a well-known kabbalist, and close student of the late Milkman, z”tl (https://bit.ly/2ZcJh1B).

This article was published on June 11, 2020. From June 11, 2020 to March 14, 2021 is 9 months and 3 days. Fortunately, the Gemara says that in [the month of*] Nissan we were redeemed from Egypt and in Nissan in the future we will be redeemed in the final redemption (Rosh Hashanah 11a).

*Not on Pesach.
———–
On October 14, the daughter of Rav Dovid Chaim Stern, one of the biggest Kabbalists living now, Rabbanit Stern who is a very big Tzaddaiket said the following:

Then she said: Listen well – the Mashiach is very close and will be revealed soon. In the month of Adar, there is going to be a lot of chaos in the world, in Israel and all over the world, there will be tremendous confusion, many people will die.

Many well respected rabbis are also not going to merit receiving Mashiach, they will not survive, because they are not really tzaddikim.

Why? She said that for them the main thing is learning Torah and they disregard all the requirements of bein adaim l’chaveiro, how a person is supposed to treat others. Love of your fellow man. Not to listen or speak lashon hara.

All those people defile the mitzvah of doing chessed/kindness to others, will not be around when Mashiach is revealed. Ba’alai Machloket, those who stir up strife, will not be around.

Also, those who are not tzinut/modest, they will also not be around when Mashiach comes. Everyone now has time to fix the sin of lashon hara/speaking or thinking badly about others. We have until around the month of Adar (the month when Purim falls), which is around March. It is 4 months from now.

Everyone needs to fix everything in the next 4 months. She continued and said that those who remain will merit to greet Mashiach in the month of Nissan (the month when Pesach falls).

Rabbanit Stern herself said in a recording that there will be tremendous fear, in the world, in the month of Adar. Everyone in the world will be scared, more than right now.

She said, the main thing to work on is Interpersonal Relationships.

The Redemption already has begun, but it is hidden.

There are a lot of people who will not merit to be around.

She said by Pesach there will be a beautiful Redemption (http://bit.ly/3pkDod6).
—–

Remember, you can go HERE to download a bunch of Rav Berland’s prayers for free, to distribute.

And you can also get hard copies of all four of the prayer books on Amazon, by clicking the links below:

Rabbi Eliezer Berland’s Prayers: Prayers for every day, and every situation

Rabbi Eliezer Berland’s Prayers 2: Prayers for Health and Wellness

Rabbi Eliezer Berland’s Prayers 3: Prayers for Holy Children

Rabbi Eliezer Berland’s Prayers 4: Prayers for Shalom Bayit

====

====

UPDATE:

I got this message from Ida-Fake-Name, and it’s making some good points, so I thought I’d post it up:

Name: Ida-Fake-Name
E-Mail: ida@fakename.com
Subject: comments – the light in the darkness

Message: Dear Mrs. Levy,

This is in response to your responses in the comments section and your newest post. Since the original intent was not in any way to embarrass you, it seems better to respond in a private message… feel free to copy any or all of this to comments or other posts (not out of context, of course). The intent is to help, not to attack and create machloket.

The intent of the original comment was not for bizayon or to attack Rav Berland or you. You generally have very thoughtful posts with a high degree of scrutiny – your “BS-O-Meter” or whatever you want to call it. Generally you investigate things and present them with a critical approach…

In this post, you started writing about all the experiences bringing back different things that needed to be sorted out, etc., and how you were trying hard to change the narrative of Adar / Purim of past years. You talked about spring-cleaning and self improvement, etc., which were great thoughts, insights, goals, and everything. Then you went on to mention Rabbi Anava’s shiur… and went on to make what was either an attempt at humor or a passive aggressive attack either on Rabbi Anava or on other people who hold him in high esteem. The whole “(Ooooo… do you think that I could be Moshiach? blog, youtube, bill gates, etc… maybe if I had more of a beard…” You just got done writing such wonderful things about self improvement, working on middos, etc., then continue into making fun of a rav who, whatever you think of him or others’ opinions of him, has totally dedicated himself to serving Hashem, to emet, to teaching other people and has seriously impacted thousands upon thousands of lives with his shiurim. Whether you agree with him or what others think of him or whatever, the point is is that he’s a holy Jew who is trying to bring kavod Shamayim to the world… and he’s being made fun of – again, not clear if you’re just being silly or whatever, but it comes off as passive aggressive / bitterness, perhaps even bitter that there are people out there who rejected Rav Berland while seemingly embrace Rabbi Anava (this especially seems true based on the later paragraphs about two other blogs who bought all the lies and about “Rav Berland doesn’t have a blog… etc etc etc… he can’t be Moshiach…”). With all of the talk about loving people, accepting them, seeing that they’re here to help us with our middos, fix ourselves, etc., this feels pretty bitter…

That’s what initiated the original comment, although looking at it again, that wasn’t really clear to you that it was the motivation… personally, it really had nothing to do with accepting or rejecting Rav Berland either as a holy Jew, a rav, the tzaddik of the dor or anything.

At the very least, you have made a very convincing argument (here and previously) that Rav Berland has been treated unfairly by the state (understatement) and someone has an agenda to keep him from what he should be doing on behalf of the Jewish people.

That being said, a short while back, you posted the audio of Rabbanit Stern warning very literally to prepare talit / tefillin, a wallet, etc., to be prepared to escape to wherever and you very clearly wrote that you didn’t know to believe it or not, but what would it hurt to be prepared. Fine – but it clearly didn’t happen on Rosh Chodesh the way described in the audio… you went on to write “I’m bringing it because that ‘fear’ the Rabbanit Stern spoke of, starting Rosh Chodesh Adar, is internal.” So now things are being “interpreted” – sure she said to literally prepare a wallet and talit / tefillin and get ready to run to “you’ll know where” on Rosh Chodesh… but she didn’t really mean it literally – it’s a metaphor or something.

That’s what it sounds like you’re saying… which is what was written in the original comment that if someone else related to something like that in a similar way, you would probably call them out on it. It’s like you couldn’t say she was wrong, because now she has something new to say that is good or helpful or whatever… you went on to quote a comment someone else posted, I think from Rav Berland’s website, that Rabbanit Stern is making more predictions or whatever… but who is she and based on what should we now believe her? Because her previous explicit predictions / warnings were inappropriately taken literally when really it was all figurative? On rosh chodesh we were supposed to sleep with our figurative wallet next to our bed and be ready to escape in a metaphoric way for really being somehow turned upside down internally to work on our unfinished emotional business?

“She said by Pesach there will be a beautiful Redemption” – certainly we all hope so!! But was that contingent on the whole upheaval on Rosh Chodesh Adar that didn’t take place? Or really it did in a spiritual / metaphoric / internal way and whoever “ran out with their wallet” in an internal way will now be redeemed?

The point isn’t to keep harping on all of this – my problem was with the less than critical analysis of Rabbanit Stern’s previous warning, then jumping to bringing more of her predictions – from my perspective, none of it had to do with Rav Berland one way or the other – from what is written on your blog, it doesn’t look like what Rabbanit Stern said related to him directly.

In summary – your whole post started talking about how we need to relate to what happens to us by working on our middos, fixing ourselves (ie, it’s not about the other person, it’s about looking inward). Then you apparently mocked Rabbi Anava (which again, regardless of what you think of him or what people say about him, he’s very sincere in his intention), and seemed very bitter… that was followed by not adequately addressing a failed prediction, then bringing further predictions from the same person… then in the comments when the whole part about the comments of Rabbanit Stern were being related to, you responded very angrily and rudely and defensively about the comment having a “dissing the Rav vibe” that you picked up from a mile away.

It seems you should have taken the time to relax and examine it from closer than a mile away and perhaps you could have deciphered the original intent. Apologies for not making it clearer and more explicit and also for seemingly calling you out in the comments – the intent was not to embarrass you, but more to challenge you. You many wonderful things and seem like you want to get to the emet, whatever it is, and therefore challenging your conclusions seemed within the realm of acceptable. Please don’t take it personally and forgive me.

====

Takeaways:

  1. Thanks for prompting me to clarify that my intention was not to mock Rav Anava, God forbid.

He’s a brave person, and he’s doing his best to strive after truth. My intention WAS to mock the people who keep coming up with one ‘personality’ after another who they think is moshiach – including politicians, ex-cons and even non-Jews, without even trying to consider whether they ‘fit’ what the Jewish sources say about the identifying signs for Moshiach.

I can see that I was writing from a bitter place, for a few different reasons, and I appreciate the thoughtful discussion about it. As always, I’m a flawed human being, and I was having a really bad few days, when I wrote this piece.

2. I forgive you, Ida-Fake-Name, for the upset caused.

Please also forgive me for carpeting you publically on the blog.

As a footnote, it would be much easier to avoid nastiness if you would use your real name in future, when commenting.

I try to abide by the laws of lashon hara, but when someone is ‘anonymous’ – they don’t apply. And that’s sometimes too hard a test to pass, to have a loophole for evil speech and not to use it.

3. I AM very frustrated with a lot of the bloggers out there.

It’s frustrating me that other ‘opinion formers’ in the Jewish blogging world are refusing to even discuss the possibility that they got it wrong about the Rav.

But you are right, that approaching this subject with bitterness is counter-productive.

God is doing everything, after all, even apparently hardening the hearts of these people.

So, BH, we’re squared off now, and I’ll put a comment up under the other comments, so people can come check back on the update for this post.

====

You might also like this article:

Yesterday, I got some interesting emails.

(My emails are currently going through the roof, btw, so if I don’t respond to yours, please forgive me.)

I had a whole bunch of emails talking about the Baal Shem Tov, and ‘excommunicated tzaddikim’, and how we are forbidden to question tzaddikim.

And then, I had some other emails related to NWO stuff, that I’m still evaluating and sifting through.

And then, amongst other things, I had an email telling me this:

[M]y husband is friends with someone very close to the Rav. This friend asked if he should take the vaccine and which company. He got a response back to vaccinate with Pfizer!!!! 

====

It seems all this is actually linked, so let’s try to unpick what is really going on here.

Let’s start with that last email, a person who asked someone who is ‘very close to the Rav’ about whether to get ‘vaccinated’ with an experimental gene therapy with very limited efficacy, plus a list of unknown and potentially very serious side effects, especially over the long term.

Here’s my thoughts on this, in no particular order:

  • I have no idea if the ‘friend’ really knows someone who is close to the Rav.
  • I have no idea if the ‘friend’ is genuinely pious and good, or a religious faker.
  • I have no idea if the ‘friend’ really asked that question to someone who is close to the Rav in the first place, or is using the Rav’s name to try and sway other people.
  • Assuming the ‘friend’ really does know someone close to the Rav, and really did ask them the question – I have no idea if that ‘person close to the Rav’ actually asked the Rav this question (or whether they are genuine or a faker). It seems unlikely to me that the question was even asked, given that the Rav is currently still in prison, and it’s very hard for even his closest family members to speak to him.
  • It’s also very difficult for me to believe that the Rav would say something like this – assuming all the other points above are taken care of – because the way of Breslov rabbis is not to tell people to definitely do things, but to give gentle advice, and encourage people to think for themselves.
  • To that end, I have seen a whole bunch of people get mighty confused when they started trying to use the Rav as some sort of ‘oracle’ or ‘prediction machine’. The Rav – and no other tzaddik – is a shortcut for trying to have your own conversation with God, or working on your own emuna.
  • The best way to get the ‘advice’ from the true tzaddikim is to read their books, and find yourself in their advice.
  • Assuming the Rav really was asked in a genuine way, and really did respond like this- the Rav is currently being held in prison, in awful conditions. If they can coerce and threaten rabbis outside of prison to say what they want with violence and threats, how much more so, this applies to the Rav.

They are literally trying to kill him in there, God forbid.

====

All this reminds me of all those people I knew back in London, who insisted on ‘asking a rabbi’ if they should make aliyah, or stay put.

The very fact that they were asking the rabbi showed that they were divided about the idea of going to Israel. That they lacked the inner conviction probably required to put up with all the difficulties and hardships involved.

So, they ‘asked a rabbi’ to offload the decision to someone else, and to try and throw a sop to their own consciences, and if they picked their rabbi well – they didn’t have to move.

Lucky them!

Olam hazeh and olam habah, in one bundle.

====

The yetzer hara has been given permission to confuse people tremendously right now.

Even rabbis and tzaddikim with impeccable credentials are apparently being manipulated, duped, threatened, ‘deep fake video-d’, or I don’t know what, around this whole vaccine question.

Remember, when there was that whole hysteria about a measles epidemic in Uman, a couple of years back?

(That was probably just a dry run for what’s going on with Covid, but I digress….)

Some mysterious ‘message’ appeared on the Shuvu Banim Hebrew site saying that the Rav had told everyone to get vaccinated with the measles jab, before heading out to Uman for Rosh Hashana.

I read that – and I just knew in my bones that it wasn’t ‘real.’

Doesn’t matter who really said what, how it got there, whether or not it was genuine.

The point was, it went against my own inner daat, so I had to check it out very carefully in hitbodedut, and the message I got back, for me, was to ignore it.

====

There are no shortcuts here.

If I was buying into all the media (fake…) hysteria about measles in Uman back in 2018, and I was subconsciously looking for a reason to get the measles jab – then would have pounced on this ‘announcement’ like manna from the sky.

This whole thing is just a test of emuna, a test of who we really are, and where we are really holding, spiritually.

We live in a world populated by high-level fakers and charlatans who excel in ‘appearing to be perfect’ in their religious observance, and in giving long speeches and mussar shiurim about how the rest of us should really behave, and should really act, if we want to have perfect emuna like them.

I’m not perfect.

I struggle mightily to know what God really wants from me.

I struggle mightily to maintain emuna, in the face of a constant onslaught of lies and apparent ‘bad’. It’s only my hitbodedut that helps me out, and keeps me going.

But because I keep going into that birur process, internally, it’s giving me a clearer and clearer signal that ‘something isn’t quite right’, when I hit people and pronouncements that don’t seem to be coming from a good place.

Regardless of who is apparently making those statements.

====

For the record, even if a ‘video’ comes out with the Rav apparently clearly telling me I HAVE to go and get jabbed with an experimental gene therapy, I’m not going to do that.

But also for the record, if in my hitbodedut, God starts telling me that I’ve got this all wrong, and I need to go and get jabbed with an experimental gene therapy – well, I can tell you that I will at least reconsider all angles very carefully again, before coming to a decision.

That’s how we keep our thought processes healthy and flexible, and open to new information and insights that might change the whole picture.

Black and white thinking – the ‘all of nothing’ paradigm – is a clear indication that you are a psycho.

Remember that.

====

So now, let’s just take a quick look at another topic my inbox was full of yesterday: did the Baal Shem Tov really get excommunicated by the Vilna Gaon?

The short answer is: No, he didn’t.

The Baal Shem Tov died in 1760, and the first (very limited and short-term) excommunication of the chassidim in Vilna is meant to have happened in 1772 – 12 years after the death of the BESHT.

Also, it’s totally unclear whether even then, the Vilna Gaon is meant to have excommunicated chassidim, the way we understand that word today, or chassidim – meaning the secret followers of Shabtai Tzvi and Jacob Frank who remained in the Jewish community.

(Yes, I know who was leading chassidut at that time. There is still a lot of unpicking required here.)

====

I wrote a great deal about these things two years ago, before I got into ‘Frankist real history mode’, and you can read some of that stuff below:

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Just for the record, Rebbe Nachman was never excommunicated. And Moshe Rabbenu was never excommunicated. And the Rambam himself wasn’t excommunicated, even though some of his works (The Guide for the Perplexed) were.

Yes, there was a lot opposition to them.

But these tzaddikim were never excommunicated.

It’s important to stick with the facts as much as we’re able, because what really happened in the past is murky enough without adding to the confusion.

====

As always, I’m very happy to be sent more information and more sources, to continue this birur process.

As new information comes in, it will for sure change the picture, and the conclusions to be made.

That’s good. That’s healthy.

As soon as people want to close down a discussion based on facts and credible information (as opposed to name-calling and groundless opinion), that always gets me worried.

====

Let’s end with this.

For sure, we have to be super-careful with lashon hara, and with accepting false reports about any Jew, let alone a true tzaddik.

But that doesn’t mean that can’t question what’s really going on, and that we can’t voice our kooshiot about our leaders and rabbis in our hitbodedut. 

That is the real – and only – place that you’ll get the truth.

And it’s not only something you can do, it’s something that you are absolutely obligated and obliged to do at this period of time, when so many of our leaders literally have heresy dripping out of their pockets.

There are no shortcuts.

And the best fakers have a veritable team of professional PR people singing their praises 24/7.

====

Of course, we don’t question True Tzaddikim, God forbid.

But for sure, we question who is really a ‘true tzaddik’? – exhaustively! – before we let our guard down and move them into the ‘untouchable’ box.

Too many people have been hurt by too many fakers, because they didn’t do this. This is the minimal hishtadlut required of all us.

Because it’s no mitzvah to mindlessly follow after false prophets, charlatans and evil people.

====

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Engaging with reality is sometimes very ‘heavy’ and demoralising.

That’s why so many people prefer to leave their heads in the sand, and to tell themselves ‘unrealistic’ fairy stories about what’s really happening all around them, and why.

It’s human nature. God built us that way.

But like everything, there is a good way of using that tendency and a ‘bad’ way of using it.

====

The bad way of using this tendency to believe in unrealistic happy endings and ‘miraculous salvations’ is when we don’t engage with the truth of what’s really occurring, and we believe that things will somehow ‘workout’ without doing our part, without getting the message, that God is trying to send us.

The ‘message’ from all this Coronavirus stuff is to stop believing in the world of lies; to start talking to God more and to get to know our own souls again; and to make whatever teshuva is required from us – especially in the area of bein adam l’havero.

Rav Berland pointed out last year, when all this was just beginning, that ‘corona’ and bein adam l’havero have the same gematria of 363.

That’s not stam, it’s not a coincidence.

It’s a big clue from God, as to what we really need to be working on, here, to get all this stuff to go away.

====

A week before the Rav got arrested, and two weeks before ‘Corona’ began in earnest, in Israel, he said this:

Hashem is not giving up! He’s not backing down!

He’s is making earthquakes, cities sinking in the ground, and the earth is covering whole cities.

Hashem is not backing down!

He’s sending a slap to China, and after that He’s sending one to Mexico, and after that He’s sending it to India.

Each time, He does it in a different country, but people aren’t connecting these things together.

They don’t understand that they blemished the covenant [a reference to immoral behavior], so they have a germ this is called ‘Corona’.

And we need to stop blemishing the brit, that’s all.

====

We don’t need serums, we don’t need vaccinations, because still no vaccine helps.

No vaccine has been found.

====

Literally two days before he got arrested, the Rav wrote the prayer ‘to be saved from the Coronavirus’, and asked for it to be translated into 70 languages. Back then, he said this:

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We have to pray to defeat the mahala (illness) of Corona.

This is a gezera (negative decree) that was decreed upon Am Yisrael, but Hashem will sweeten it.

====

We need to wake up, that it should not come upon Am Yisraelchas v’shalom (God forbid).

We need to – and are obligated to – strengthen ourselves [in the matter] of bein adam l’havero (the relationship between one person and his friend), gematria = 363.

That this comes out in gematria the same as the terrible illness, ‘Corona’ = 363.

And this illness could finish off the whole world, plants, living creatures and human beings.

AND SO, SEE THAT YOU DISTRIBUTE THE PRAYER [AGAINST THE CORONA VIRUS] IN 70 LANGUAGES, AND THAT IT SHOULD REACH EVERY PART OF THE WORLD.

And then, we will be able to sweeten everything.

====

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To return to our discussion about ‘bad’ emuna and ‘good’ emuna.

‘Bad emuna’ comes in two main flavors.

The first manifests itself in wishful thinking, or not really engaging with reality while still telling ourselves ‘it will work out’. This type of ‘bad emuna’ is defined by the following:

  1. We lie to ourselves about what’s really going on because we’re too scared to really face the truth.
  2. We fail to put God into the picture, in terms of asking Him to ‘sweeten things’ via our prayers.
  3. We don’t make the teshuva required to get the scary situation to sweeten.
  4. We ignore the clues that God is giving us, all the time, from every direction, but especially from our real tzaddikim, about what we specifically need to fix.

If someone expects all this to ‘work out’, magically, from the mindset described above – they are deluding themselves.

====

But there is also a second type of ‘bad emuna’, and that’s where people get so convinced by the awful things happening in the world, they lose hope of it ever turning around and become depressed, despairing and nihilistic.

This type of ‘bad emuna’ is defined by the following:

  1. We lie to ourselves about what’s really going on because we’re too arrogant to admit that God is really controlling absolutely everything that’s happening in the world, and that we need to bitul ourselves to Him.
  2. We fail to put God into the picture, in terms of asking Him to ‘sweeten things’ via our prayers.
  3. We don’t make the teshuva required to get the scary situation to sweeten.
  4. We ignore the clues that God is giving us, all the time, from every direction, but especially from our real tzaddikim, about what we specifically need to fix.

====

Or to put it another way:

Some people have a ‘bad emuna’ that it will all work out OK, and they don’t have to do, fix or change anything.

And other people have a ‘bad emuna’ that nothing is now going to work out OK, and they don’t have to do, fix or change anything.

====

What does ‘good emuna’ look like?

It manifests like this:

  1. We stop lying to ourselves about what’s really going.
  2. We accept that God is really controlling absolutely everything that’s happening in the world.
  3. We start making more of an effort to connect to God, and to really put Him in the picture as the main (and really only….) player.
  4. We start asking Him to ‘sweeten things’ via our prayers – something we can only do, if we really believe He’s listening to us, and that our prayers will affect the outcome.
  5. We start to make the teshuva required to get the scary situation to sweeten.
  6. We pay attention to the clues that God is giving us, all the time, from every direction, but especially from our real tzaddikim, about what we specifically need to fix –

Like this ‘clue’ (with English subtitles), from February 2020:

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And I’ll add something else into the mix here:

7. We don’t despair of God’s salvation, even when things look really bleak, because we know He can do anything, and it can come in the blink of an eye.

====

That doesn’t mean He’s definitely going to ‘magically’ turn things around, tho.

There are massive tikkunim, massive cheshbonot going on here, spiritually, before Moshiach finally shows up.

None of us really knows what spiritual debts we still have to pay down, not just from this life, but also from previous ones.

‘Good emuna’ means that I do my bit, I make teshuva, I pray, I don’t try to duck reality – but I also don’t sit here thinking I know better than Hashem, or that Hashem is somehow ‘bad’ for letting things happen, God forbid.

====

If we make teshuva, if we pray, then even if we got ‘genetically modified’ with a ‘vaccine’, Hashem can still turn everything around for the best.

If we do the work required to fix things up with all the people we’ve hurt over the years, and get to work on all the bad middot that have caused so much damage in the world, and if we start to really do what our real tzaddikim are telling us, and to get behind them – we will get out of Mitzrayim in one piece, spiritually, regardless of how ‘genetically modified’ we are.

And if we don’t do these things?

There are no guarantees of anything, even if we are totally ‘anti vax’.

====

The point is this:

God has set this whole thing up as one big test, one big process of birur, to peel us away from the world of lies, and to also peel ‘the world of lies’ away from inside ourselves.

If you want to still lie to yourself about what’s going on – both with ‘corona’, and with your own yucky behavior towards your fellow man, your spouse, your kids – you can.

There are consequences attached to doing that, and you’ll have to deal with them.

But, as soon as someone makes the conscious decision to step out of the arrogant ‘world of lies’, and to humbly reattach themselves to God – they are no longer bound by ‘world of lies’ rules.

Tachlis, they’ll start doing weird things like talking to God for an hour a day; and reciting strange segulot that make no logical sense, just because the Tzaddik HaDor told them to, or sitting their kids down and apologising to them for (sometimes…) being a really awful parent.

They’ll start to admit their faults….

They’ll start to try to fix the mess they made all around, without blaming other people all the time or trying to play the victim…. they’ll start giving more charity, paying more pidyonot…. they’ll start to admit that they were wrong. About a whole bunch of things. And it’s OK to acknowledge that.

====

Our minds are so very powerful.

And our souls are infinitely more so.

If we reconnect ‘illness’ – all illness – back to God, and back to this process of having ‘good emuna’, then Covid-19 really will disappear, bezrat Hashem, and the horrible gene-therapy ‘vax’ will be neutralised.

Because it’s all just a message, just a test.

A ‘Covid 19’ test.

And we all have our work cut out for us, to start passing it.

====

UPDATE:

Another reader (and friend…) sent me this other ‘clue’, from a hidden tzaddik, back in the Summer:

Here’s a snippet, back from July 2020:

Pay attention, that this is beginning with one lockdown, and then another lockdown… Until all of us will be in an absolute lockdown. Don’t say that we didn’t tell you.

Today, it’s still possible to stop this.

Pharoah also started [to enslave] Am Yisrael with soft words.

If we do teshuva, but not completely, meaning with full, heart-felt intention, we will need to complete the relative portion with suffering, the very difficult ‘birthpangs of the Moshiach’, rachmana litzan (Hashem should have mercy).

Therefore, everyone should come, like one man, with one heart, let’s pray together, let’s do teshuva from love, and let’s merit to have geula b’rachamim (redemption with mercy), TODAY! If we will only listen to his voice.

But it’s a fact 100%, that the world will not return to ‘routine’ again.

We are in the final process of geula, Am Yisrael, and how it’s going to come – either with din (harsh judgment) or rachamim (mercy) depends on us.”

====

See it yourself, in the original Hebrew, below:

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One thing I can say about the Baba Sali is that it’s never dull.

For some reason, I decided I just HAD to go to the Baba Sali this time with my good friend S.

I don’t know why. I’m very happy going all over the place by myself usually, and especially to kivrei tzaddikim. But Sunday night, I was on the phone to S., persuading her to come with me to Netivot.

She lives in the South, so it wasn’t a big shlep, and she likes to go to the Baba Sali herself, plus she’d been ‘locked down’ for three months, and really needed a break.

Problem was, S. is married to a Cohen, and had a small son that she couldn’t find a babysitter for. Cohens aren’t allowed into graveyards, and the Baba Sali is buried on the edge of the main cemetery in Netivot.

I’ll babysit him, while you go in, and we’ll switch off, I found myself saying.

Even though I haven’t babysit for anyone small for around 7 years now. But how hard could it be…. I mean, I could just wheel the kid around in its stroller for half an hour, even if it was bawling that would still be OK.

Wouldn’t it?

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So we get there, and we agreed that S. would go in first while I walked around Netivot a little with her son in the stroller, so by the time he got cranky she’d be back to deal with him.

She took off for the kever, and I started pushing.

Something on the pavement caught my eye – it was a leaflet with a psak din on it, printed both sides. I walked on, and there were more of these leaflets scattered all over the floor. So I bent down to pick one up – and I was totally disgusted to find it was the psak din against Rav Berland and Shuvu Banim, printed in color and spread all over the streets of chareidi Netivot by his persecutors.

What can I tell you?

I started feeling really, really angry, and upset and judgmental – and all the other negative emotions and bad middot that you can basically classify as ‘hakpada’ or harsh judgment.

Just that morning, I’d read something on the RavBerland.com website where the Rav had said it’s assur – forbidden! – to get harshly judgmental against anyone, even a Jew who is up to his neck in wickedness.

Yet walking around Netivot, I totally forgot all about the Rav’s holy words, and as I spotted more of these infernal leaflets scattered all over the place, I started to fume more and more.

By the bus stop, there was a stack of about 30 leaflets. I walked past them – then decided I was going to go back, rip them into pieces, dramatically, then shove them in the waiting rubbish bin.

My small charge was talking happily to himself, so I parked him in the bus stop, three paces away, and pushed down on the stroller’s brake, to keep him anchored in place while I went on my ‘holy’ rampage.

What can I tell you?

In the two seconds I turned my back to gather the leaflets up, the stroller unbraked itself, and then tipped over on to its side. The small kid started shrieking, and my heart started beating in that wild, uncontrolled way that occurs when you think you may just have done something really bad, however unintentionally.

I ran over, picked the stroller and kid back up, and tried to shush him soothingly, while I found somewhere shaded to sit, where I could take him out and cuddle him. Two minutes later, he was on my lap – and that’s when I noticed he had a small, bruised egg on the front of his head.

My heart sank again.

====

I called his mum, explained what had happened, and she was so understanding.

Is he puking?

No. Thank God.

Is he awake and aware?

Yes. Thank God.

Rivka, I think it’s OK. He gets a lot of knocks at home, too, don’t worry.

But of course, it was too late for that.

====

I have a history of ‘interesting things’ happening at the Baba Sali, including the massive car crash that got me to move to Jerusalem back in 2014. This wasn’t that extreme… but I was still feeling pretty shaken up at this stage.

The kid had calmed down enough for me to put him back in the stroller and to walk around a bit more. So I buckled him in again, and started circling Netivot, trying to figure out why I couldn’t even keep a small child in my care for 2 minutes safe…

The answer wafted over to me from the Baba Sali’s kever:

Hakpada. Harsh judgment. Anger. Self-righteousness. Arrogance.

All things that I’d been totally guilty of, when I picked up those leaflets and started thinking dark thoughts about the poor frum community of Netivot.

====

God, I’m really sorry! Please just let the kid be OK, and I’ll do my best to try to steer clear of those things from now on. But please help me! Because I’m going to find it really hard to uproot those bad middot from my heart, even though I really want to!

God was basically showing me just how dangerous hakpada really is.  Even just two seconds of self-righteous anger can lead to a lot of bad things happening…

And the people who get the most hurt by it are you, and the people closest to you.

====

My friend came back, and I told her that I wouldn’t need long at the tomb, as I’d already got the clarity I’d come for. In typical Baba Sali fashion, I’d got a real slap across the face again, and I’d learned my lesson before I even got into the compound there.

My friend told me that the ‘rules’ for visiting were that you had to wear a mask, get your temperature taken, and avoid kissing the tomb.

So, I decided to skip the tomb itself, and to just throw two packs of candles into the yahrtzeit candle pyre that is nearly always burning strong by the Baba Sali.

God, just as these candles are melting, please melt my hakpada. Please get rid of my self-righteous anger. Please uproot my arrogance.

I threw them in, slowly, one by one.

====

In the car home, I was in a somber mood.

There’s so much harsh judgment in the world right now.

The government in Israel is talking about passing a bill that will enable the police to break into homes and forcibly remove people deemed to be ‘corona risks’ if they have a warrant.

Which of course, they will have for anyone they want to target, so all this emphasis on having a warrant is a meaningless piece of propaganda designed to lull people into thinking they still have any civil rights or legal protection in the State of Israel.

As if.

Things are crumbling all around.

If I didn’t keep my head in the sand as much as possible at the moment, I’d probably be totally freaking it.

As it is, we need all the judgment, all the hakpada to be sweetened.

And I guess that each of us are responsible for trying to do that in our own dalet amot.

Which means trying to seeing the good in the other person. Trying to let go of all our anger and indignation. And to quit hating people who act differently from us, or believe different, or even, that hurt us and those we love, intentionally or otherwise.

It’s a big ask, honestly.

But if I got one thing from my trip to the Baba Sali, it’s just how dangerous all that hakpada really is.

Especially to ourselves.

====

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For about five minutes yesterday, as I was driving back to Jerusalem on Route 6, I had this amazing feeling of being so connected to God, and seeing how He’s guiding every tiny detail in the world.

The traffic was flowing, the scenery was beautiful, and I had a profound sense of peace and excitement.

Moshiach is almost here, I can feel it….

====

I got home, and instantly my mood changed.

Someone had sent me a link to another crappy Israeli TV ‘expose’ about Rabbi Berland, blah blah blah, and somehow, my oldest daughter had opened it up when she was using my computer, and then spent two hours watching more poisonous crap about the Rav.

Excuse my mild swearing.

I’ve just so had enough of all this.

So, I told her:

I can’t keep trying to clean this stuff up for you, spiritually. You want to watch poisonous crap about the Rav, from lying, immoral, anti-God journalists, what can I do? Bezrat Hashem, God will help you to figure out the truth by yourself, because I am no longer prepared to sit her to try and shore up your shaky emunat tzaddikim.

That’s not an easy thing for me to say, because I know that it’s not going to go easy for anyone who finds themselves on the wrong side of the Rabbi Berland equation, and I love my daughter tremendously.

But each person has to fight their own fight.

And I also decided that I am totally coming off Youtube, and once I’ve finished typing this, I’m going to see if there is a way I can totally block it and / or erase access. (If anyone has any tips for me, please leave them in the comments section.)

====

The more the current craziness plays out in the world, the more I’m seeing that there is really only one way that we can short-cut things like pandemics, plagues, economic depressions, terminal illnesses and wars, and that’s by working on our own middot.

All this Coronavirus stuff is just a case in point.

Regardless of whether it really is a potential world-killing pandemic, or just a totally over-hyped strain of flu that the media is using to whip-up mass hysteria for some unknown reason, what it actually all boils down to is just a big test of emuna.

Sure, you may be wearing a shawl, and thinking like you are the holiest thing to hit the world since Moshe Rabbenu, but if you’re scared to ride a bus in Jerusalem because of Corona, that is a clear indication that your real level of emuna is actually way, way less than you think.

Wherever there is fear of something that is not Hashem, that’s called ‘fallen fear’.

The whole idea, the whole goal, is to work through all the millions of ‘fallen fears’ that we all have, and to raise them back up to their root in emuna. That means understanding that God runs the world, God is doing everything for our ultimate good, and that everything is just a message from Hashem.

God doesn’t need Corona virus to kill anyone – if He decides we’re going to croak, that’s it, end of story, even if we’re wearing a bacteria-killing mask 24 hours a day and have an IV drip infusing our blood with industrial quantities of Vitamin C.

====

God is running the world.

Let me repeat that again, as I know it’s so easy to forget it:

God is running the world.

Once I understand that, I stop obsessing over using the hand sanitizer, and I stop panicking when someone coughs next to me at work, and I stop checking out ‘the latest’ germ-blocking face masks.

And instead, I take some time out, and I go and explore why do I feel so scared? What am I doing, what sins am I engaged in, that are making my soul feel so anxious and frightened?

And top of that list is:

The sins between adam l’chaveiro.

====

Recently, I’ve had a lot of kids who dropped out of the Torah world in my orbit, especially from the city of Bet Shemesh.

That place seems to have cornered the market in terms of dysfunctional ‘religious’ families where the parents are so super-duper, mega-crazy ‘frum’ on the outside – but actually treating other people, and particularly their kids, really badly.

What I’ve been learning is that the yetzer has been totally running rings around so many of these people. It’s convinced them harshly criticizing their children for not being ‘perfect’ is the best way to get them to make teshuva  – when of course, the polar opposite is true.

Imagine living in a home where you have a parent that is constantly telling you what you’re doing wrong, and constantly picking up chumrot that they try to shove down your throat, and constantly going on about how ‘bad’ and how ‘evil’ and how ‘defective’ you are, poor kid, and how they’re sure you’re not going to ‘make it’ when Moshiach shows up.

If I lived in a home like that, I would also get a punk hair cut, smoke 2 packs a day and feel really, really angry at God and religion.

====

It’s no coincidence that Rabbi Berland has made it very clear that the gematria of ‘Corona’ is 363 – the same gematria as bein adam l’chaveiro.

And the first place to start with fixing that part of the equation is in our homes.

If you are criticising your kid all the time for not being Moshe Rabbenu, or not getting ‘straight As’, or not being perfect all the time – stop!

If you are condescending to your spouse, and you think like you have it all figured out and they are the spiritual retard in the relationship – stop!

If you think you are above doing a cheshbon hanefesh on how you hurt other people’s feelings, and how you use religious observance to try to control other people – again, especially your children – then stop!

Take a breath, take a careful look in the mirror that God is holding up to you, and to me, and to everyone else in the world right now, and see what’s looking back at you.

Is it nice, or nasty? Is it scary, or reassuring? Is the world full of kindness and compassion and understanding, or vicious complaint, din and anger?

Whatever you see peering back at you, that’s just a reflection of your inner dimension.

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Let me share a story with you, to illustrate this point.

I’ve been checking out a few of my ‘anonymous’ commentators IP addresses, especially the ones who like to write comments slagging off Rav Berland.

I discovered that one big critic of the Rav has a slew of court cases against them for illegally manipulating stocks on the New York stock exchange – they are mamash small time mafia. This guy has been extremely fast to loudly yell ‘financial fraud!!!!’ at the Rav and Shuvu Banim.

Now we know why.

Then, there was the commentator who liked to call himself ‘Peewee’, who is also ‘anti Rav’. Guess what? I found out he’s on a police watch list for pedophiles in the States after he was caught propositioning an undercover police woman who he thought was a 13 year old girl on the internet.

The Rav is just a big super-reflecting mirror, shining a light on our own bad middot.

That’s why I am not going to argue with anyone anymore, about what the Rav did or didn’t do, or did or didn’t say.

If you see bad in the Rav – if you see bad in your kids, in your spouse, in everyone else around you – that’s because that bad is really in YOU.

So knuckle down, acknowledge the real problem and get to work on it.

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This morning, I finally had the energy to walk down to the Kotel, as part of my hour long hitbodedut thing that I do every single day, with God’s help.

I walked down the road that skirts the Gei Hinnom valley, on the side of the Old City, a road called ‘Ma’aleh Shalom’ – the path of peace.

I went with quite a lot of heartache, thinking about some of the things I’ve written above, how I’m seeing so many parents literally destroy their children with their own two hands, all in the name of God and His Torah.

I touched the stones, kissed them, then headed back home. In the plaza, an old frum lady came over to me and called out may Hashem grant you everything you asked for!

I shrugged at her, pulled a tight smile and told her Sorry, I don’t have any money.

She hobbled closer, and told me in English:

You aren’t listening to me. Listen: May Hashem grant you everything you asked for!

She was right. I hadn’t been listening. She was trying to give me a bracha that my prayers should be answered, and I was batting her away like a pesky mosquito.

You’re right. I’m sorry. Amen!

Then she told me:

The most important prayer to say right now, is that we all get out of galut. That Am Yisrael should all get out of galut.

I looked at her twinkly blue eyes, squeezed her arm, and got the message.

What is galut, really, except the prison that we’re all in, that’s keeping us away from God and the people we love, and redemption? And what is that prison, really, except our own bad middot?

Our own fallen fears, and anger, and arrogance, and jealousy?

We all have a lot of work to do.

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UPDATE:

Daisy Stern has pulled a lot of info together to show why the Kan 11 ‘expose’ my daughter say was a total farce, and just more of the same ‘anti-Rav’ propaganda the media has been steadily churning out for year.

You can see that on her site, HERE.

Also, I saw another abusive comment this morning, this time from someone pretending to be ‘Sam Eisen’ about the Rav. Again, I ran the IP address – and guess what? It’s the same ‘Peewee’ pedo guy I mentioned before.

I won’t detail the comment, but suffice to say it was talking about dying in jail for being a pervert. Yet again, we see the mirror principle in full color.

So, yalla, come on all you ‘anti’ Rav people… send me more of your comments, even with your fake names, and then we’ll find out what’s really going on in your private lives and exactly why it is you are so ‘anti’ a person who exudes goodness and holiness so strongly, you can feel it a million miles away.

No wonder all these people are staying anonymous.

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Let’s leave the last word to Rabbi Nachman, who writes in Sefer HaMiddot:

“S*xual violators are for the most part opposers of the Tzaddikim.”

Now that I’m looking up the IP addresses on the comments, I’m seeing Rabbenu’s dictum manifest in real time. And I’m really excited to go and do some more digging on all those big mouths who have been so publically ‘anti’ the Rav – so yalla guys, don’t be shy!

Let me have all your disgusting comments, and then let’s find out who YOU really are.

It’s a taste of the World to Come, when the truth will shine out and no-one will be able to hide behind a fake name or a fake email anymore.

Doesn’t that sound like fun?

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